


The Sea and The Stars

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Self-Harm, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 10:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 41,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1740791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After their abusive father dies in an accident, Sam and Dean are glad to move to South Dakota with Bobby, Ellen and their daughter Jo. There, Dean manages to make friends with the quiet Castiel.<br/>But Castiel has dark secrets, secrets that Alastair wants to exploit, as he has done to many before. What measures will Castiel resort to so that he can end Alastair's cruel leverage over almost everyone? Will Dean have a part to play in Castiel's turmoil?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!!! This is my first official fanfic! I hope any one who reads it loves it as much as I will just writing it. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm planning on making this quite long? Maybe around 15-20 chapters? It'll be a slow build up that way, and because of that it'll be even sweeter ^.^
> 
> Unfortunately, for the purposes of the story, I decided to change Sammy's age a bit, making him just 2 years younger than Dean. This way it's easier to write about them being in the same school. Sorry :/
> 
> The story will mainly focus on Destiel, but I will include several other ships which I will not disclose :D 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!  
> (Also uploaded under the same title on Wattpad :D)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing affiliated with SUPERNATURAL although I sincerely wish I did

**Dean Winchester**

After being nervous most of the night, Dean finally crawled out of bed after 7am. Though reasonably rested, he was still rather tired. Dean had slept a maximum of 3 hours, despite promising himself he would sleep at around 11pm. 

Dean lied to himself like this a lot.

He shot a glance in his brother's bedroom, and, not to his surprise, saw it was empty, and already remade.

 _Goody two shoes,_ Dean thought. He doesn't mean it though; he's grumpy in a morning, and he's always proud of his little brother.

Dean padded downstairs quietly, ensuring that if anyone else is asleep, he wouldn't wake them. He found everyone sitting quietly at the breakfast table.

Dean inwardly cursed.

Bobby was the first to notice him. 

"Good to see ya boy, thought you'd never wake up." Bobby had a smirk on his face, knowing that Dean was not in the best of moods.

"You're lucky I love you old man." Dean stated, quickly followed by a yawn

"Who you callin' old, boy?" Bobby laughed. Dean grinned, and turned to Ellen, his adoptive mother, and Jo, his adoptive sister.

"Mornin' Ellen, Jo." Jo nodded her head in acknowledgement, and Ellen kissed him on the cheek and ruffled his hair.

Dean took one of the empty chairs, grabbed a plate and put a bit of everything on it. Dean had never been so grateful for Ellen's cooking. 

Through a mouthful, he said,

"Where's Sammy?" Ellen gave him the disapproving look he'd seen a thousand times before, which he knew meant ' _Don't talk with your mouthful, boy.'_ Knowing this, he grinned widely.

"Right here, Dean." Sam walked in and took the other empty seat next to Bobby. He took out his laptop and immediately began typing some sort of gibberish in Google. Dean tried to see over his shoulder, but Sam twisted it away. Unfortunately, he twisted it towards Bobby instead, who read aloud,

"' _Reviews for the Sioux Falls High School; Sioux Falls named among the Top 10 leading High schools in South Dakota,'_ Hmm, doing research, kid?" questioned Bobby. Sam snapped the laptop shut and mumbled,

"Just curious." Bobby chuckled and slapped Sam on the shoulder playfully, while Ellen scolded him for mumbling.

After eating what was on his plate, and, admittedly, a bit more, Dean realised it was almost 20 to 8. School didn't start till around 8:30, but Dean had wanted to check out the school a bit first.

He rushed upstairs to change, picking out the first pair of worn jeans he saw, and a plaid shirt. He decided to take his tan jacket after all, because it could get quite cool outside. The amulet that he hasn't taken off in around 7 years bounces as he races down the stairs. Sam gave it to him for Christmas when Dean was 10; Bobby helped him pick it out.

"SAMMY, JO GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE I'M LEAVING IN A MINUTE!" Dean yelled; he was their ride to school, so they had to hurry up or walk to school.

Dean heard a muffled,

" _DON'T CALL ME SAMMY!"_ from his brother's room. Dean chuckled. _  
_

As Sam and Jo came down the stairs, he heard Ellen and Bobby wish the boys a good first day.

After almost 10 years of moving, switching schools and unreliable teachers, it was great to finally have a constant school, with a great reputation.

John Winchester, who Sam and Dean refused to call a father any more, had been an alcoholic, and couldn't really handle his drink very well. A few misplaced drunk hits and sharp eyed teachers led to Sam and Dean leaving several schools, which John blamed the kids for.

Bobby was disgraced to know John Winchester, but always loved his boys more than John ever could. Sam and Dean would come to see Uncle Bobby at least once a month, much to the irritation of John. Everyone else though, including Jo, had been ecstatic to see them each time.

 2 years ago, John Winchester died from alcohol poisoning; the most fitting way for the bastard to die. From when he died, there had been a custody battle between Bobby and the Government, as Bobby wasn't really his uncle, but he was damn close. Bobby won the custody battle, and Sam and Dean now live with their uncle, his wife, Ellen, and their daughter, Jo.

Honestly? Dean was glad he could have his own room; Sammy was too. Surprisingly, Bobby had rennovated the home so it could hold as many as 7 guests if needed. when Dean found out, he simply said,

"Bobby..? You're awesome." which earned a chuckle and a hug from his father figure.

Dean had never been happier to have a place to call home.

The closest thing to a 'home' Dean had ever had was his baby; his sleek, shiny, black 1967 Chevrolet Impala was the second most important thing in Dean's life. Right after Sammy.

So, when Dean slid into the drivers seat and revved up the engine, he relished the purr of the engine more than he ever had.


	2. Chapter 2

**Castiel Novak ******

Castiel had a home to return to; Castiel had a warm meal on the table at home for him; Castiel had a bed to sleep in each night. But Castiel didn't have the safety of a happy family, nor did he have the comfort of one.

********

His family was broken. He only had his father and three brothers, Gabriel, Raphael and Balthazar. Well, there was Michael and Lucifer, but the twins had left as soon as they turned 18. Not together though. They were polar opposites, a rarity for twins. They despised each other.

********

It's not like Castiel's family even cares about him though. He's adopted.

********

When he was 6 months old, somebody abandoned him in a box. His father found him on the side of the road in that box, with his arms spread, almost like he was raising up his wings. At least, that was the bull shit story that he always told.

********

Castiel is convinced father tells the story just to give Castiel a sense of glory and importance, but no matter how many times that it is told, or how many ways he says the same words, Castiel can't bring himself to believe he was that beautiful once.

********

Whether the look on his father's face was of love, or anger, the same thoughts always flicker through the boy's mind.

********

I will never truly have the love of these people. Or any one, for that matter.

********

He knows Gabriel and Balthazar care for him, though it is more of a friendship, than caring for a sibling, despite having grown up with all of them. Gabriel is 2 years younger than him anyway, and Balthazar has just left school, going into college. It's sad, really, how truly alone Castiel always was.

********

Before the morning had arrived, Castiel was tempted just to fake being ill, just to avoid the first day of school, where everything is chaotic, and friends yell to each other across hallways. However, Castiel was good a judging when it was appropriate to miss school, and the first day was not one of those times. Anyway, he needed his schedule.

********

So, after falling asleep just before 2am, the teenager woke to the shrill sound of an alarm clock at 7:35, 

********

Dammit, Castiel thought. His alarm usually went off at 7:15, but he must have set the wrong time. He got up and pulled himself over to his wardrobe. From it, he picked plain black trousers with a white buttoned shirt. He pulled on his favourite blue tie over it.

********

The clothes made him feel like he was in a uniform. He preferred it this way; he could have control over this one part of his life, no matter how insignificant it was.

********

He sauntered downstairs, not wanting to wake any one who wasn't already up, but his father was already at the table speaking with Raphael. When Raphael caught his sibling's eye, he smiled, and Castiel detected a hint of malice buried in it. 

********

Castiel could read body language like a book, and he saw the way Raphael's body coiled, ready to spring at Castiel.

********

Raphael hated Castiel with a burning passion, and sometimes, he wasn't even sure why. But, should he ever truly forget, Raphael would gladly remind him, and kindly offer many punches and kicks too, should he be truly pissed off.

********

It was then that Castiel noticed that his father was speaking directly to him, so Castiel tore his gaze from his brother, and directed it to his father.

********

"Ensure you take care of Gabriel, Castiel. Should anything unfavourable happen to him..." Castiel knew the answer. Despite his father being the one who voluntarily, from the goodness of his heart, saved his life 16 years ago, he was often unkind and sometimes even violent with the boy, which Castiel had never grown to understand. It wasn't common, but it was often enough that Castiel could always see when it would happen.

********

Gabe and Balth (Castiel's nicknames for his brothers, of which they did not mind too much) did not think much of their father and Rafi's (Castiel's nickname for Raphael, which Raphael did not like at all, so the boy used the name sparingly) attitude towards Castiel. They were not aware of any injuries that resulted from their 'disagreements.'

********

Castiel nodded at his father, to show he was still paying attention, although he had lost track of whatever he was saying at this point. Eventually, the teenager was allowed to leave. Castiel picked up his reliable tan trench coat, which hung just behind the door.

********

He noted the time, which was 7:55, and called for Gabe. The young troublemaker made his way downstairs with a lolly in his mouth. Seeing Gabriel's sweet made Castiel remember he had not eaten since yesterday lunch time.

********

Unfortunately, there was no time for him to have breakfast now, so they walked together out of their home,as Castiel said to his brother,

********

"Don't you think it's rather early for sugar filled products?" Gabe simply smiled widely and replied with a quick,

********

"Never too early for sugar, Cassie."

********

He didn't like that nickname very much.

********


	3. Chapter 3

**Dean Winchester**

Almost immediately after exiting the Impala, Dean missed the purr of her engine. He shut the door gently, as he always did, not wanting to risk any damage to the car. Despite hating his father with a burning passion, he couldn't help but love the man's car, as it held one of very few happy memories with his father.

It was of him behind the wheel, John next to him; even then, he loved he way she handled, even though he had never driven a car before. That memory was only days before his father died.

Snapping back to the present, Dean glanced around the space.

It was only 8am, but there were still large groups of students already gossiping outside the school, and many more walking inside. Dean and Sam said goodbye to Jo, as she made her way over to her friends, Ash, Charlie, and Kevin. The brothers then decided to make their way over to the office, where they'd receive their schedules; unfortunately, this is what almost everyone else was doing, so it was around 10 minutes before they got their timetables.

Heading over to the benches near the outer door, they sat and compared their lessons.

It was no surprise that Sam had a different schedule to Dean, as they were 2 years apart in age. Dean, being nosy, looked over his little (but tall) brother's shoulder to check his classes, and noticed that in every class, he was in the top set. Dean clapped him on the back and said,

"Great job, Sammy! Knew you were smart enough for this crap!"

Dean truly was proud of his little brother, and would tell any one who would listen about his brainy little brother. Sammy was always embarrassed, and would insist that it wasn't anything special, not compared to what Dean could do if he really tried. That would usually start a heated debate about how Sam was the brains of the family.

"Dude, don't call me Sammy! We're at school and I'm not a kid!" Sam groaned, but he had a small smirk of satisfaction on his face anyway.

"No problem-o, Samantha." Dean mocked. Sam gave him his signature bitch-face, and Dean laughed.

Sam glanced at Dean's timetable, and his eyes widened.

"Dude, how the hell did you get in almost all top classes?" Sam was truly shocked, and, to be honest, so was Dean.

Usually, Dean barely scraped through at the end of the year. His results must have been good from his last school to get into the higher sets. He still resorted to his first defence: sarcasm.

"Sammy! I... I'm so hurt! Did you not believe your gorgeous big brother had a brain? My god! What kind of person are you to-" Dean mocked loudly, before being cut off by his brother, exclaiming,

"Okay, shut up! You're making a scene you moron. There's Jo." Sam sounded just about tired of all Dean's shit (he probably was), but he still had a hint of a smirk on his face, which Dean noticed. Dean could always make Sammy smile.

"Jo! Over here! C'mon we want to see what lessons you guys have."

The trio made their way over to where the brothers were sat, and pulled out their schedules. Jo and her friends had just gotten theirs, so they swapped with each others, and checked them out. Only Charlie and Ash were in the same year as him, and Jo and Kevin were the same age as Sammy.

It was nice the way the classes turned out; some classes he had with Ash, others with Charlie, and only one with both. Unfortunately, the one class he had with neither, was P.E. Girls don't have P.E with the boys. The Head Teacher was convinced that girls would have a negative effect on the boys in their class, which was entirely sexist, and in all of Dean's many schools, not once had this been an issue.

Dean couldn't help but think about how it was so unnecessary; as an example, Dean would go for almost any girl, but when she was in a P.E. outfit, or just blatantly said 'No,' he would back off. No questions asked. He respected a girl enough to know when the time to flirt was, and wearing a potentially revealing (or not, even) sweaty PE outfit was not one of those times.

Dean didn't quite know what Ash was going to do about his 'empty' slot for P.E. But he just had this sneaky look on his face. Dean didn't question it.

Sammy managed to have either Jo or Kevin in all his classes, the lucky bastard.

"Hey, what time is it?" Charlie asked casually, but you could still hear the undertone of nervousness. Ash pulled out his phone and said,

"8:24, Charlie. Shoot, we got about 5 minutes before class starts!" Ash groans, already tired of school before lessons had even started. Dean could't blame him really; so was he.

Dean and Charlie decided to make their way down to their History class, which was first. Ash made his way to Geography class. Dean was thankful for the extra time to get there, as Dean had no freaking clue where to go, so he looked like a lost puppy following Charlie down the winding hallways.

"You'll get used to it pretty quickly, Dean. Seriously, all the subjects are grouped together, like History and RE are both at the same end of the school, Maths and English the other side. You just need to figure out which is where." Charlie stated, attempting to make Dean feel better. It kind of worked, really.

"Thanks, Charlie. Really." Dean was glad to have a friend with him.

Arriving at the class, he noticed a lot of other pupils standing outside, waiting. Dean noted that almost everyone looed either bored or nervous, maybe even a mixture of both. After a few minutes of idle chat with Charlie, the bell rang, and, after taking a deep breath, Dean and Charlie walked inside, and took a seat right next to each other, both eager and terrified for what the day held.


	4. Chapter 4

**Castiel Novak**

Castiel couldn't drive. Gabriel had always despised walking, insisting it distracted him while eating his sweets. Castiel didn't understand how that kid could  _possibly_  be so small and skinny considering he ate like a pig.

Despite the fact that they had to walk to school, on a beautiful morning with a watery sun like today, the walks never seemed so bad. Rafi had always and often offered to drive Gabriel, but not Castiel, of course. For some strange reason, the weird kid with the sweet stash always declined, stating that he wished to spend time with his 'big bro, Castiel.' Even though the boy hated walking, he chose that over not being with Castiel, for which the older boy was always grateful, and frankly a little surprised.

Rafi had obviously been furious with the idea that his own little brother would choose a boy who was practically a stranger over him. Of course, he hadn't let it show; Gabriel knew nothing of the loathing Raphael held for his favourite brother.

The walk was always brisk, around 10 minutes usually, but Castiel cherished every minute he spent with Gabe. Despite the boy being an arrogant dick at times, he still loved him more than his other brothers, even more than Balth.

School was often slightly different at the start of each term. Whether it was the slightly different cars, or the strikingly different people there, it was always different. Castiel had never paid any attention.

So it was only when Castiel saw an old, but beautiful black car, that he stopped, and stared at the car. Gabriel, being an observant boy, saw Castiel looking, and became curious (though, admittedly, he liked the car, too).

"Why are you looking at that car? There are always different cars here, Cassie, why are you staring at that one in particular?" To be honest, Gabriel was a little more concerned than curious; he knew Castiel cared little about anything other than his school work.

"It- it's different... The model, and the time it was made... I'd say it was made around the 70s. Why would a teenager take a 40 year old car, an  _Impala,_  no less, to school?" Castiel was rather curious; never had he seen any cars older than about 10 years, and even those were in barely-working condition.

Gabriel gave him a sideways look. He didn't know when Castiel had learnt about cars, or how to tell one type from the next. That kind of thing mattered more to-

"Michael....Michael used to talk, and I'd listen to him sometimes. He'd show me pictures." Castiel explained to his brother, which earned a slight sigh of relief.

"Cassie, what does it even matter? Who cares? Sure, it's a nice car, but really? C'mon, we have to get our schedules." Gabe tried desperately to ease attention away from the car, which fortunately worked. With one last fleeting glance at the car, they set off towards the inner office.

By the time the brothers reached the office, most of the queue had died down, so it was much less of a wait to receive their schedules, around 5 minutes maximum.

Gabriel, being a smart kid but extremely distractable, managed to elbow his way into almost all top classes, the exceptions being Science and History. The most 'History' that Gabe knew, involved the invention of the first ever chocolate bar (1847, for future reference) or, to an extent, information on war-like conditions. As for Science... well, let's just say he had a little 'disagreement' with his teacher over the reliability of a graph of information, and now she refused to teach him.

His teacher thought it was acceptable to estimate  _important_ data from an  _unreliable_ science experiment, and while the entire class was uneasy and reluctant about that idea, Gabe was the one who argued for about 15 minutes about that.

Then he was excluded for 3 days over the disrespect of a teacher. Castiel was the one to hear his whining and complaining those days.

Gabe barely even had to glance at his brother's timetable to know his brother was in the top classes for all his lessons; it had been that way for about... 4 or 5 years, so it came as no surprise. Finishing off his sweet, Gabriel threw the wrapper in the bin. Castiel couldn't help but notice the improvement: last year, he would just drop the wrapper anywhere, but after several scoldings from both Balth and Castiel, he'd learnt to clean up after himself.

Noticing the time was only 8:14, Castiel decided to pull out his phone, and kill some time with it. It was new, and he only had it so his father and Rafi could keep track of him, but he still managed to install a few apps and games on there. The siblings sat down together, while Gabriel had to show him how to work his phone.

Gabe had had many phones in the past; he went through them so quickly, it was a surprise their father would still allow him to have one. They went through about 4 games, each more irritating and impossible than the last, before the bell rang. 

Gabe left for his English class, and Castiel headed towards History, his tan trench coat billowing behind him as he walked unconcerned to his class. Surprisingly, History wasn't too far away from where he was sat with Gabe, but despite knowing his way around the school like the back of his hand, he couldn't bring himself to take much notice as to where he was headed. 

When he realised he wasn't heading towards his class, he immediately spun on his heels, and quickly walked (No running in the corridor) towards his intended class.

Castiel was rarely late; it came as a shock to Mr. Murphy, too. His teacher knew how reliable Castiel was, so when he walked through the wooden door directly after the late bell, neither knew quite how to react. When the older man regained his composure, he stated to Castiel,

"Castiel, you are only slightly late, so as it's the first day, I will issue you with only a warning," Mr. Murphy stated.

"Thank you, sir." he murmured in reply.

Castiel realised that almost all the seats were occupied. Thankfully, no one was paying him much attention, as people were still conversing with their friends. He quickly swept his gaze over the class.

As Castiel didn't have any friends to sit with, he walked towards the first empty seat he could see. After standing awkwardly behind it for a second or so, he cleared his throat and said,

"Um- sorry, is, uh, is anyone sitting here?" 

The boy he was aiming the question at swivelled around slightly, to get a better look at the other boy who was talking. But Castiel did not expect eyes as green as the sea to meet his gaze. In his head, Castiel jerked with surprise, but his outer composure remained calm, if a little awkward.

They held each other's gazes for a few seconds before the other boy realised he had not yet answered.

"Oh, uh, no. Nobody's sitting there, sit down." He gave a small smile, which grew when Castiel returned it, sitting down graciously. The green eyed boy held out his hand and said,

"Dean Winchester, this is my friend Charlie Bradbury. You?" The red headed girl behind him, now named 'Charlie,' grinned at him. Castiel looked at 'Dean's' hand, slightly disoriented for a moment, until he realised what he was intended to do. 

Holding out his own hand and shaking Dean's, he stated nervously,

"Castiel Novak."


	5. Chapter 5

**Dean Winchester**

Dean had expected... a slow, calm, boring day; he'd expected to meet one or two new friends, get into an argument with a teacher, maybe even flirt with a couple of girls. What he  _hadn't_ expected was a boy with the most beautiful, teasing, starry blue eyes to sit next to him in his History class.

Things went downhill pretty fast from there. When he'd first heard a rough, almost nervous voice ask him a question from next to him, he hadn't expected to see one of the most gorgeous people he'd ever seen.

Sure, he'd seen his fair sure of attractive women, and, hell, as much as he was scared to admit it to his family, men too. But none of them were anywhere near the league this boy was in; slighly rumpled, raven black bed-hair, long, billowy trench coat and the most stunning eyes he had ever had the misfortune of seeing, the only words Dean could see fit to describe him was  _'unique and stunning.'_ But even those seemed to be an understatement.

It was a misfortune to see those eyes, as Dean just... got  _lost_ in them for a few seconds, though not long enough to be considered creepy or awkward- he'd caught himself in time, remembering he hadn't answered the boy's question.

The boy had introduced himself as Castiel Novak. Unfortunately, they didn't get much chance to get to know each other better after that, as Mr. Murphy started the lesson.

However, it wasn't much of a lesson; their teacher knew they'd stil be easing back into the routine of school each day, so the workload was light, and no homework, which was a plus. What made Dean feel really lucky, was that it was World War 2 they were studying, a topic which he knew a lot on, and interested him very much.

It took Dean almost half an hour to finish, but even then he still had another half an hour to kill. He turned to Charlie, not wanting to look at the boy with the beautiful eyes again too soon, and saw that she was still working.

"I could help you, if want, Charlie." Dean said, shyly. So far, she'd been the one to help Dean more, so it was a slight shock when the roles were reversed. Charlie looked up in surprise, but said,

"No, it's okay. I have the sources right here." she added in a quieter tone, "How about you talk to Castiel? You guys would be great friends, you know." Dean flushed slightly at that, but he really couldn't argue. He would very much like to talk to Castiel.

So, he spun around to face Castiel ( _Wow, that's a mouthful,_ Dean thought) and saw that he was sitting low in his seat, with his sheet also finished.

"Hey, Cas." Dean didn't even know where the nickname came from, he just thought 'Castiel' was a little too formal. Castiel turned to face Dean, a bewildered expression etched on his face.

"Cas?" he asked, slightly disoriented. Dean couldn't help but think that maybe nobody had ever given him a nickname, and it was a sad thought.

"Sorry- I, uh, thought 'Castiel' was a little too formal. I thought... Sorry, I won't say it again." blabbed Dean, mentally slapping himself. Castiel's lips quirked up in a sly smirk.

 _Bastard,_  Dean thought.

"No... it's fine. Sure beats 'Cassie,' anyway." he chuckled. Dean blinked in surprise, and let out a small laugh, too.

"Who the hell calls you 'Cassie'?" Immediately, Castiel's-  _Cas's -_ eyes lit up, and he smiled a bit brighter.

"My little brother, Gabriel." You could hear how proud he was of his little brother, and Dean couldn't help but relate; how many times had the same tone been present in his own voice at any mention of Sammy?

"You have a brother?"

"Several, actually. Though Gabriel is the only one younger than me. My other brothers are Raphael, Balthazar,  Michael and Lucifer. No sisters. Do you have any siblings, Dean?" The other boy loved the way his name rolled of Cas's tongue.

"Yeah, a couple years younger than me. He's called Sam. If you don't mind me asking, why the hell are all your names so weird? I mean, no offense, but...  _Castiel?"_ he hesitated before asking the question, and heard Charlie mumble from next to him,

" _Smooth, Dean. Really."_ He ignored her. Fortunately, Cas didn't seem to offended by the question, but took a few seconds to compose his answer, probably to say it best without sounding like an utter nutjob.

"My parents are...  _really_ religious. Well, my dad is, my mother... was." Cas's voice wavered slightly at the last word, but continued. "They had a fascination with angels, especially their names, and their meanings. For example, 'Castiel' means, ' _My cover is God,'_ and 'Gabriel' means ' _God is my strength.'_ They wanted to see us as angels, rather than name us something  _sane,_ for God's sake." he paused, and saw Dean chuckling.

"Why are you laughing at me?" Castiel tilted his head slightly, and squinted his eyes, and even through Dean's laughing he couldn't help but think he was absolutely adorable like this.

"Actually, I was laughing at the way you said 'for God's sake'. You don't care so much about the whole religion thing, do you?" 

"Nope. Not as much as my parents anyway, I still care a bit, I guess. So, anyway, tell me about  _your_  family, now that I have shared so much of mine." Cas smirked at the other boy, and Dean smiled in return.

"Sammy.... Sammy's 2 years younger than I am, and, damn, he's a smart kid, you know? I'm so proud of him, but either he doesn't even realise it, or he thinks I'm trying to embarass him. We've moved around a lot these past few years..." Dean was rambling by now, but Cas sat with a rapt attention, taking in every word. "We'd go to different schools every few months, but he always, and I mean  _always,_  kept his head down, got some work done and came out with all these high grades."

"I can see why you would be so proud of him. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for both of you. If I may ask, what about your parents?" After noticing Dean stiffen slightly, he rushed to add, "Actually, it doesn't matter, I shouldn't have asked. Sorry."

Dean shot him a grateful smile, but it was laced with a promise, that maybe one day, he'd tell this starry eyed stranger the truth about his parents.

"Right now, I live with my Uncle Bobby, his wife Ellen, and their daughter, Jo." Dean felt comfortable sharing this bit of information.

"Wait- not Bobby Singer? From Singer Autoshop?" questioned Cas. Dean jumped, slightly surprised Cas knew who it was.

"Yeah, actually. How do you know him?" Curiosity had always been one of Dean's weak points.

"My brother loved cars. Sometimes, he would go there, and Mr. Singer would talk to him about his options, if he ever wanted to work there. Occasionally, maybe once or twice, I went with Michael." explained Cas. Dean ignored the slightly wistful expression Cas held at the mention of his brother.

That was when Mr. Murphy announced they had a few minutes to clear up their working space, and wait for the bell. After clearing up, the newfound friends swapped schedules, and noted down lessons together. Both were happy to find that they were in the majority of classes together, including next period.

Turning to let Charlie know he was walking with Cas, Dean found her flirting with the girl behind them, Gilda. Charlie swatted his hand away and whispered,

"Dude, I'm flirting!  _And it's going well!_  Go walk with your boyfriend, I'm trying to score, here." The exchange of words was in a low voice, so that nobody else could hear them, but Dean flushed crimson at Charlie's comment about Cas being his boyfriend. He pretended he didn't notice.

The bell rang, and the new friends left the room, and headed just a couple of classes over to RE, where they were learning about Christianity.

That was when Dean learnt that Cas wasn't a pushover; the teacher had made a snide comment about the religion, and had told the class many untrue facts about Christianity, which Castiel, despite hving little interest in the religion, furiously argued with the teacher for about 10 minutes, before Cas was threatened with a detention for the 'disrespect and unhealthy attitude' towards a teacher.

He sat back, seething, blue eyes determined. Dean decided to try and break the tension.

"Didn't take you for the kind of person to almost get detention on the first day of school." Cas's laugh was short and dry, almost without humor.

"There are a lot of things you wouldn't take me for, Dean."  Dean didn't know what to say to that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Castiel Novak**

Castiel had managed to make a new friend in the first lesson. Huh. Gabriel would no doubt tease him to no end about it. Even better, his new friend, Dean, had given him a new nickname: 'Cas'.

He had shared a lot with Dean, including acknowledging his other brothers. It occurred to him that perhaps he had shared a little too much, but Castiel-  _Cas_ \- couldn't resist the eyes as green as the sea that belonged to Dean Winchester.  _  
_

This new student had managed to put him into a good mood- that was, until second period. He had R.E and used to enjoy it, as he was very aware of the customs of Christianity and Catholicism, but his teacher had decided to personally insult Christianity, and spout off a few unreliable and untrue facts.

He had fought tooth and nail in that arugment with her, but was forced to surrender or risk a detention on the first day. He didn't want his file stating 'Enjoys arguing with teachers,' so he, reluctantly, surrendered. 

"Didn't take you for the kind of person to almost get detention on the first day of school." Dean said, clearly trying to break the tension. Cas appreciated the effort, but couldn't help but bitterly retort,

"There are a lot of things you wouldn't take me for, Dean." The other boy clearly didn't know how to respond to that, but he didn't have to, as the bell rang shorlty after. Cas turned to Dean and said, 

"What form room are you in? We have to go there to be registered before break."  Dean pulled out his schedule, glanced at it and replied,

"Mr. Shurley. Hey, isn't he the English teacher?" Cas nodded.

"He is my form teacher too, and yes, he's also our English teaher, it seems. Come on, I will show you where it is." With that, Cas led the way down the corridor. 

The two made it to the class just before their late bell rang, and took a couple of seats. It was customary for the teacher to take the register, then issue any notifications. The other 5 minutes were spent by the class talking amongst themselves.

Mr. Shurley began taking the register, and when he got to Dean's name, he stopped, and said,

"Ah, our new pupil! Are you settling in well.. uh, Dean?" He had to glance at the register to check he had got the name right. Dean's cheeks went slightly pink. Cas couldn't help but smirk at him.

"Yes, sir. Cas here has been showing me around." Cas's eyes widened at the mention of his name, and apparently Mr. Shirley was also as surprised.

"Really?" he questioned, shooting a sideways glance as Castiel. "Well, um, good luck in your classes for the day, Dean. I'll be watching both of you in English next." he added the last part jokingly, covering up the fact that he knew Cas didn't have many friends.

"Why did you tell him that?" Cas asked, quietly. "You didn't have to embarass yourself like that!" 

"Because you're my friend, and if I'm going down, you're coming with me." Dean smirked, but then added seriously, "And what do you mean 'embarass myself'? Why would being friends with you be an embarassment?"

"As I said, there are a lot of things you would not take me for. Rumours around here will send you running a mile in the other direction, away from just about anything." Cas's voice was laced with scorn, but an undertone of sadness.

"I didn't listen to anything after 'rumours'." Dean said, with so much conviction and determination, that Cas whipped his head around to look at Dean in the eye. He kind of wished he hadn't; he got lost in them again for about a minute. It took that long for Cas to think of a worthy retort.

"Do not trust what you see. Or what you hear, in these parts. Everyone has their ghosts."

"Is that supposed to be some ominous warning? It sounds like you stole that from a crappy, low-budget horror film, Cas." Dean grinned, and Cas couldn't help but roll his eyes. Of course  _Dean_ would be the one to ignore Cas's perfectly reasonable warning- okay maybe it wasn't reasonable.

"Wait, are you trying to scare me off, Cas?" the other boy smirked as he waited for Cas's reply. It wasn't a quick reply as Cas had gone bright red, and had begun spluttering,

"I- uh, no?" he eventually squeezed out, as Dean was laughing. The bell rang then, saving Cas from another embarassing situation. The two boys got their bags, and made their way outside.

They found Dean's friends without too much difficulty, as they were waiting for him just by the doors leading in the the cafeteria. Cas stood slightly away from them, not wanting to intrude on their conversation, but he may as well not have bothered.

A small blonde girl caught him standing there, and said,

"C'mon, you don't have to stand there doing nothing. Talk to us, we don't bite. Usually." she added, jokingly. Cas realised she wasn't one to mess with; she could tear him apart. Dean swooped in and introduced him.

"This is my friend, Cas. Well his name's 'Castiel' but that's 1, too long, and 2, too weird, so I call him Cas." he smiled widely "Cas, that's Jo, she's in the same year as Sammy- where's Sam, by the way?- But that's Kevin right there, and next to him is Charlie and Ash." Cas became slightly dazed at all these names, and blinked at them all, confused.

"Um.... Hi?" Everyone smiled at that. Genuine smiles. Cas grinned back. The girl with the red hair who Cas remembered was 'Charlie', (from class earlier) turned to Dean and said,

"Sam said to tell you he was going to talk to his other friend, who's showing him round the school. I doubt he'll be back before break ends..." Dean nodded and thanked her

Everyone began small separate conversations, so Cas decided to pull out his phone. After doing so, Dean caught him, and said,

"Dude, give me your number." Everyone else agreed, and Cas soon found himself trading phone numbers with who he supposed were his friends now. They all began talking again, but this time, Cas was involved in one conversation between Dean and Jo. Cas was, for the first time at school, happy.

Dean heard his phone go off, and pulled it out, reading the text he'd received. 

"It's from Sammy, he wants me to give his friend a ride home. Jo, do you mind?" Dean asked the blonde girl.

"Nah, it's cool, I'm riding with Ash anyway, we're going to the Roadhouse. I've got a shift with mom." Jo replied. "Welcome to drop by, y'know. Both of you." she added, glancing at Castiel.

"Great. Hey, Cas, do you need a ride home? I could drive you if you want." Cas jumped out of his thoughts (which consisted of the green eyed boy, admittedly) and faced Dean.

"I don't want to inconvenience you." said Cas. Dean shook his head.

"Dude, it's no trouble, really. I'm giving you a ride home, man, end of." Cas was startled by Dean's insistence, but gave in anyway.

"Thank you, Dean." The bell rang, then, so the two plus Ash made their way to English with Mr, Shurley.

"Dude's a good teacher, y'know." Ash said to Dean. "Seriously, he can write pretty well." Cas nodded in agreement. 

They entered the class, and sat down as a three on a table. When everybody had gotten in, Mr. Shurley closed the door, and did the register. When he finished, he was about to start the lesson, when the door burst open dramatically.

"Sorry I'm late, Chuck. Had a crisis." the boy said to the teacher in a low, but loud voice. He was clearly British, a new transfer, most likely, and didn't sound the least bit apologetic. He scanned the room, looking for a seat, and saw the only available one was on their table.

Dean narrowed his eyes, seemingly knowing his type. The British boy made his way over to the table, and put out his own hand before declaring,

"I'm Crowley. You morons are...?" Ash looked ready to knock out the boys hand, before the teacher yelled,

"Fergus MacLeod, sit  _down!_ " The class erupted in laughter, and 'Crowley' went red, then flopped onto the available seat.

"There goes my dramatic and mysterious entrance." Dean had visible relaxed at the boy's reaction to the laughter;  _  
_

"Thak God you're not the kind of person I thought you were. If you were... Well, I have disagreements with people like that."

"Now, why on earth would you think that?" Crowley asked, and winked. Cas felt something bubble up in his stomach, similar to anger.... Or jealousy? 

After all the drama and laughter had worn down, Mr. Shurley started the lesson, but not before saying,

"Yes, my name is 'Chuck', but only use it if you want to spend an hour in detention." That earned a few more giggles. Mr. Shurley began teaching about the range of different sentence structures, but Cas shut that out.

He began thinking about the green-eyed boy, and the nickname he gave him, 'Cas'. 

He liked that nickname very much.


	7. Chapter 7

**Dean Winchester**

They day didn't drag as long as Dean thought it would. He chalked it down to being glad to have another friend, Cas. They'd had almost every lesson together, excluding Maths, which they had right after English. 

Their lunch hour sped past, with the group of friends sitting at an old wooden table, cheerfully talking amongst themselves. Sammy was still a no show, which Jo explained as Sam making new friends. Dean, though he was happy his nerdy brother had made a friend, couldn't help but be a bit worried for him; friends in the past had turned on both of the brothers, so Sam was usually more hesitant with friends.

But one starry-blue-eyed Castiel made sure that Dean had little concentration. Dean found he couldn't stop glancing at the boys tan trench coat, and the way his sleeves bunched up slightly. He found himself staring at Cas's raven black hair, and wondered how it would feel to run his fingers through it.

Obviously, this both surprised and worried Dean. He'd  _had_  feelings for men before, but never really as intense as this, as he would usually become accustomed to their presence before looking at them in a more romantic, or even physical way. This had to be the quickest Dean had found a guy attractive.

Which of couse raised the question of Castiel's...  _preference,_ if you will. Dean didn't know how he would cope if Cas was a homophobe. 

The bell rang for their last lesson, which, coincidentally, Dean and Cas had together, PE. Ash grinned, so Dean suspected Ash had already pulled off his stunt, which nobody asked about, and, honestly, Dean didn't really think anybody wanted to know.

That was when Dean realised he'd be in a sweaty, hot locker room, practically undressing next to the attractive trench-coated boy next to him. Of course, that thought made him go maddeningly red, so he set a quick pace towards the changing rooms so nobody would see his embarrassment. For the most part, it worked though.

He hurried to change, as he was quite excited for the lesson, as P.E was one of the few lessons he excelled in. However, he noticed Cas change slightly slower, and more shy, glancing around before switching clothes. Dean thought this quite strange, but did not question him, not wanting to embarrass him further.

All in all, Dean thought he'd had a freakin' great day, and some 'relaxing' sport would be the best end to it. So, when Dean left the changing rooms, he quickly set off on a brisk jog for a warm up, as instructed to do so by the teacher.

Despite setting a pace that, for Dean,  _was_ a jog, he sped past all the other pupils with surprising ease. He'd grown to love jogging around his new neighbourhood, as it was so relaxing and calming. Dean would often drift into different thoughts and ideas while he ran, to occupy his mind, as he did then.

He thought of how he hoped this school would be different, for both him and Sammy. He thought of how he didn't mind so much that he had a strange little group of friends, and how they talked so confidently about the most ridiculous things. And he thought of how he was  _finally_ starting to be happy.

In fact, Dean was so deep in thought, he almost didn't notice a dark-haired blur practically sprint past him. He slowed for a second, dazed, before he realised that the boy that ran past him had slowed also, resting pace at a relaxed jog. Dean jogged forward, saying loud enough for the other boy to hear,

"Dude, were you trying to race me?" with obvious surprise, but some amusement in his voice. The other boy turned his head as Dean kept pace with him, a barely repressed smirk on his face. Dean blinked in surprise.

"What on earth would cause you to think that of me, Dean?" Castiel remarked, also amused. Dean grinned, and added jokingly,

"Oh, you son of a bitch," With that, Dean sped forward, and heard an exasperated chuckle from behind.

"Now  _you're_  racing  _me_ , Dean. How immature of you." 

The next 5 minutes were spent by the two making sarcastic jokes and insults towards each other, all the while attempting to overtake one another. Finally, the teacher called the class over, to properly begin their lesson, and the two boys slowly made their way over. They were exhausted and gulping air, but still managed to laugh between wheezes.

The lesson was mostly just cross country running, or 200m racing, which Mr. Walker, their teacher, thought was a 'useful skill'. However, he told the class that as it was their first day back, they were permitted to have breaks or even just walk should they need to. The class took this as an excuse to not do anything, which, in all honesty, didn't seem to bother Mr. Walker that much. So that's what they did.

However, Dean couldn't help but notice the furtive but curious glances their teacher shot at Dean and Castiel when he thought neither were looking; Dean didn't ask Cas about it, but couldn't help but wonder if it was related to what Mr. Shurley must've thought when Dean brought up the other boy...

It was cool outside, but the sun was shining, casting a light glow and long shadows, so Dean didn't really mind all that much. He preferred to run in this kind of weather, as it allowed him to warm up quickly, so he and Cas set a casual pace and jogged along the track, all the while talking about... well things that were mostly unimportant, but comforting all the same. 

In all honesty, Dean just wanted to hear the sound of Cas's voice; low and gravelly. From the few hours that he knew him, it sounded like he'd just swallowed some rocks, but talked through it anyway, though sometimes his tone would soften, and there would be a sense of calm around him.

Dean mentally shook himself, chastising himself for actually finding ways to physically describe Cas's voice.  _If I carry on like this, I'll be head over heels, damn it,_ Dean thought.

Eventually, though, it was time to return to the changing rooms. Dean was hesitant to leave, as he enjoyed the bite of the fresh air.

After getting changed, Dean and Cas sat down on their benches, waiting for the bell to ring to signal the end of school. Dean decided to pass the time to talk to Cas, but at the same time he began speaking, the latter also began to talk. Both stopped awkwardly, only to start again when the other stopped. After a few seconds, Cas held up his hands and said,

"You first." Dean chuckled slightly.

"I was gonna ask how you ran so well, 'cause, dude, you were pretty fast." Cas smirked at that, but Dean noticed a small flash in his eyes. He passed it off as the light.

"I was going to ask the same of you, Dean." he smiled slightly. "I used to run in marathons fairly often. I don't do as many any more, haven't in months, but I still run in the forest along the path-" Dean cut him off there.

"There's a  _forest_  here? Thought I'd found everything, dammit! Where? Gotta check that out, man." Cas let out a big laugh, which caused a few people to turn their heads, and raise questioning eyebrows, which they both ignored.

"I could show you, if you wish to visit there. It really is a magnificent place, whether you're walking or just sitting under trees, it is beautiful." Cas sounded almost longing, gravelly tone once again soft.

"Sure, I'd really like to see what's got you so hooked." Dean replied with a smirk. The bell rang then, and Dean stood quickly, a new smile coating his face.

"C'mon, I'll show you my Baby!" The way Dean said 'Baby' almost proudly, he was sure anyone eavesdropping may have thought he was talking about an actual baby, weird as that may sound.

Castiel laughed again. "Strange name for a car." he remarked, but followed him all the same.

"When we get there, we'll have to wait for Sammy, and whatever little guy he's bringing with him, 'kay?" Dean had no doubt Cas could hear how he said 'Sammy' with so much pride, but couldn't bring himself tobe embarrassed.

"Of course." 

However, after reaching the general area of the Impala, Cas was already staring at it, almost as if trying to figure it out. Dean stopped and frowned slightly. Did he already know this was his car? How?

"Cas, I know she's gorgeous, but could you stop starin' at her like that?" Dean joked, hoping it hid his anxiety that he hated the car. Cas's neck snapped towards Dean so fast Dean thought he'd break it. Cas's expression was one of pure surprise and shock.

"The- the Impala is  _yours?_ " Cas asked, wide eyed, challenging Dean to deny it. Dean couldn't stop the slight flush of relief, and surprise.

"Yeah, and you know it's an Impala? Hell, man, if you carry on being this awesome, I might just end up buyin' you a drink." Dean laughed, before realising what he'd said and blushed. Fortunately, Cas had moved towards the car and didn't react to what Dean said, so the latter pretended he'd never said it.

"She's a '67 Chevy, to be exact. Pretty much rebuilt her myself, with some help, of course." Dean proudly laid his hand on the roof of the car.

"You did an extremely good job, Dean." Cas complimented, making Dean grin. He was thankful he hadn't asked why it needed rebuilding. All of a sudden, Dean heard a familiar voice yell,

"DEAN! Really? Couldn't go one day without either showing off your car, or flirting?" Dean laughed, and turned to his brother, who was walking towards the car, with someone who seemed very short next to his gigantic brother.

"You're lucky that I'm in a good mood, so I'm going to forget you said that." Dean turned to his brother's friend, and held out his hand. "Dean, you?"

The smaller boy shook Deans hand, and said, 

"Gabriel. They call me Gabriel." Dean was about to say that his name sounded familiar, when he heard Cas say,

"Gabriel? This is a strange coincidence." Cas sounded rather pleased with the coincidence.

"Cassie? You made a friend? Wow, I misjudged you!" Gabriel tried hard not to sound mocking, Dean could tell, but it came across that way, and hurt flickered across Cas's face, but it was gone as quick as it came. Sam, who had been glancing between the three utterly confused, finally remarked,

"Uh- sorry, I'm.... confused?" It was phrased like a question. Gabriel was quick to reply with,

"Oh! Cassie here is my big bro, right Cas?" The brothers grinned. Sam turned to his own brother.

"You're right, this is a weird coincidence." Dean had to laugh at that.

"C'mon, idiots, get in the damn car!" Dean said, a smile still lingering on his lips. That's when Gabriel noticed the car, and snapped to face Dean.

" _Your_ car? Holy crap! This coincidence is getting a bit weird, 'cause Cassie here," he gestured to his brother. "was staring at this beauty this morning. Thought it was strange, but nice, right, big bro?" Gabriel was either playing innocent and deliberately trying to embarrass Cas, or genuinely just didn't shut up. Dean suspected the former, as Cas had gone bright red.

Dean just rolled his eyes, and repeated himself. Sam went to head for shotgun, but Dean quickly stated,

"Guests ride shotgun. Cas, get on up here." Sam quickly replied with,

"Gabriel's a guest too, what about him?" Dean smirked.

"Cas is older, it's my car, and what I say goes, bitch."

"Eugh. Jerk." came the swift reply, as this playful banter had been common for a few years. Sam crawled into the back seat with Gabriel, who, Dean couldn't help but notice, somehow had a lollypop now. Cas sat in the passenger seat with a small smile, and Dean started the car.

"Car rules!" Dean announced, immediately met with a groan from Sam.

"Dude, they just met us, and you're already making them want to run away?" The elder brother ignored Sam, and Cas's curious look, and continued,

"Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole." That was met with a snort from Gabriel.

"Annoy me, your ass is out of my car. Ruin the interior," Dean twisted to look at Gabriel, and gestured to his lollypop. "you will face the wrath of Dean Winchester. Seriously, stains are a  _bitch_ to get off of leather." Cas was laughing again, and Dean softened just listening to it, no matter how cheesy it sounded.

Sam's head was hidden in his hands, and he was groaning. Fortunately, it seemed, Gabriel saw the funny side, so Sam let the hands drop. Dean began to pull away. He looked to Cas once again, who was admiring the interior.

"Cas, I probably need your address, y'know."

Cas gave him the address.


	8. Chapter 8

**Castiel Novak**

Cas couldn't help but laugh through Dean's 'Car rules', and how, even after not knowing Gabe at all, could still expect him to mess with Dean. The blue eyes boy couldn't help but slide his eyes over the interior of the car; it was beautiful, with the seats made of a beautiful dark leather, and the outside looking pristine, Cas couldn't help but compliment Dean,

"This is a beautiful car, Dean. My congratulations on rebuilding it so well." Cas smiled. In the corner of his eyes, he saw Gabriel's eyes widen, but as he didn't say anything, he ignored him. Dean had gone slightly pink at Cas's words, and replied.

"Thanks, man." In the rearview mirror, he saw Sam raise an eyebrow, but, unlike Gabriel, he didn't stay quiet.

"You told Casti- Cas you rebuilt it?" he turned to Cas. "He must really like you, man, he usually tells everyone Bobby do it. Modest son of a bitch." The last sentence was mumbled, so Dean only caught the first sentence, and went red, again.

"Shut up, Sammy." Sam raised his hands in mock surrender, a smirk painted on his face, and turned to talk with Gabriel, who was also smirking at the exchange.

As the drive wasn't a long one, the four relaxed into a comfortable silence, with only the consistent  _purr_ of the Impala's engine. It took around 5 minutes for the car to finally pull up at the marble driveway of the overly-large Novak home. The Winchester's eyes widened in unison at the sight of it, almost comical.

"What- why the hell is your house so damn big?" questioned Dean, in awe. Cas shook his head, a smile lingering on his lips.

"I take it you are not aware of my father's involvement in the 'Milton Law Firm'?" From the back of the car, Sam's head snapped to face Castiel, and his gaze flickered between Gabe and Castiel.

"The Milton's Law Firm is one of the largest in South Dakota, right? Holy crap..." Gabriel also piped up.

"Yeah, Dad's got this agreement with the CEO, Uriel. He does a lot of work, and," Gabe whistled to express how large the work was. "he gets paid  _big time_." 

Cas and Gabe began to exit the vehicle, but with a pang in his chest, he realised he didn't want the Winchesters to leave just yet, so on an impulse, he leaned back in to the car and said,

"Would you like to come in for a while? Of course, if your- uncle?- doesn't mind, that is." Gabriel voiced his agreement.

"Yeah, we barely have anyone over, y'know?" 

The other sibling's faces lit up, some amusement and mischief in their eyes.

"'Course, we'd love to see your house, dude. And, I really doubt Bobby would mind all that much, either." and with that, Sam and Dean exited the vehicle, and sauntered over to the pale, white door with the others.

After entering the house, Sam lifted his eyes in amazement, and stared at some of the finer details carved into separate areas of the room. It was a gesture that did not go unnoticed by Novaks, who grinned at each other. Dean, meanwhile, had merely stood in front of the door, blinking at many different parts of the hallway.

"Don't overexert yourself Dean-o!" Gabe announced, cheerful as ever, bounding through the hallways with a practiced grace. Sam immediately began to follow, as Dean spluttered after snapping back to reality.

"It's... bright..?" Dean remarked lamely, voicing it more as a question than a statement. Cas chuckled.

"Father enjoys to let the light in often, as a sign of 'God's presence'. The same goes for Raphael." He saw Dean nod at Cas's words, but was clearly struggling to remember if Raphael had been mentioned in an earlier conversation. 

"Are you hungry? I could fix something, if you are." Cas changed the subject. Dean looked hesitant for a moment, before allowing a shy smile to overcome his face, replying,

"Um... d- d'you have any pie?" Again, Castiel couldn't help but chuckle at his friend, but nodded in response.

"We have just about anything containing sugar, as Gabriel is an extreme addict. We do in fact have leftover pie. I hope you don't mind apple flavour?" he stated, walking down the corridor and heading into the kitchen, proceeding to open the fridge.

"Hell yeah, I like apple flavour!" Dean exclaimed, before realising he had practically yelled, and blushed crimson, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Castiel couldn't help but notice how endearing this particular aspect of Dean was; he could blush so easily at the smallest things, and the way the colour breached his skin... He snapped himself from his daze, and mentally slapped himself. He should not be thinking of Dean in this way. They were friends, and had only met that very day.

_Yet he's at your house eating your pie,_ whispered a voice in the back of his head. Cas recognised it as the voice that was an unreasonable sliver of hope, so pushed it down, albeit reluctantly.

He pulled out the golden-crusted pie, and cut out a reasonable sliver, placing it on a plate on the table. Dean's face lit up at the sight, and just barely seemed to remind himself of his manners, so walked slowly over to the kitchen, taking a seat on a comfortable black stool. Cas decided to cut himself a piece, and joined the Winchester at the elevated table, tucking into their pie.

Almost immediately after taking a bite, Dean let out a low moan, which he quickly covered up by hastily saying,

"This is the best damn pie I've ever had. Where the hell did you get it?" Castiel finished chewing his current bite, and replied,

"I didn't buy it." At the look of confusion on Dean's face, he elaborated further. "I made it. I make pie fairly often, it is also one of Gabriel's favourite delights." he trained his eyes at the table, slightly embarrassed, and he heard a slight intake of breath, an indication of disbelief.

"No freakin' way. Seriously, dude, you have  _got_ to give me the recipe or somethin'!" Dean exclaimed, a bright grin lighting up his entire face. Slowly, Cas nodded, a smile taking over his face.

He looked at Dean's eyes again, noting the peculiar shade of green it held, and how full of happiness they seemed. A cough from the corner of the room brought Castiel to his senses, realising too late he had been caught staring- by none other than his own little brother. Immediately, Cas inwardly cursed.

"Are you eating my pie?" the statement vaguely sounded threatening, but playful too, so Cas relaxed slightly.

"Actually, it's my pie, brother. I made it." Cas picked up Dean's empty plate and put it in the dishwasher, along with his own. After turning back to face is brother, he saw him roll his eyes, but wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, which, fortunately for Castiel, Dean did not catch. He felt his cheeks warm.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Listen, Cassie, me 'n' Sammy are gonna go sit in my room and play video games for 2 hours instead of studying." He had an amused and mischievous twinkle in his eyes, as he usually did. Cas just shook his head at the boy.

Gabe had to walk past Cas to get into the corridor, so he crossed the room. However, he brushed against him, and whispered, so only Cas could hear,

"Have fun flirting with Dean-o." Cas lost his calm at that.

"Gabriel, I swear to G-" he began, but the other boy had already taken off down the corridor, laughing as he did so. Castiel shook his head, an atmosphere of annoyance and anxiety settling over him.

"Were you about to curse God, Castiel?" asked Dean mockingly. He slid his eyes over to Dean, and remembered what Gabriel had interrupted between the two. Cas quickly broke the contact.

"Would you like to watch a movie, or something? It appears your brother will be occupied for a certain amount of time.

"Yeah, sure. Mind if I check what movies you have?" Dean replied, an underlying tone of nervousness in his voice that Castiel pretended not to notice.

"Actually, we have Netflix, if you'd prefer that format?"

"Hell, yeah! I heard that they've just put the most recent season of Sherlock on, and I wanna check it out." Realising he was getting ahead of himself, he added, "If, um.... If you don't mind?"

Cas looked confused for a moment, before replying at last with,

"I do not believe I have ever seen that show." Immediately, Dean's eyes widened and there was a dramatic intake of breath. Castiel stared at the floor, embarrassed, sure he'd said something wrong.

"That's it. You  _need_ to be educated in this kinda crap. No way am I letting any friend of mine walk around with practicaly no knowledge of pop culture." He grabbed Cas by the arm, and all but dragged him into the sitting room, where the TV was.

Frankly, Cas barely noticed; he was too busy contemplating Dean's casual use of the word 'friend'. 

It didn't take long for Cas to set up Netflix (as Dean had gotten rather annoyed with it's non-cooperative manner), so when the first episode of Sherlock came on the screen, he sat down on the sofa. Dean sat casual, yet slightly tense at the other end. There was quite a gap between them, but neither commented on the space. They focused on the show.

At first, Castiel was wary of the plot, but soon found himself enthralled in it's storytelling, listening with a rapt attention at each deductio Sherlock made, making an indignant noise wherever appropriate. Cas was sure he could hear Dean ineffectively suppress his laughs, but he was too interested in the show to care.

Finally, the first episode ended. Cas sat in shock and awe, as Dean turned off the TV. 

"That... was amazing! So unusual for a man of such talent to choose to become a private detective!"

" _Consulting_ detective." Dean corrected. Cas rolled his eyes. 

"I take it you enjoyed it then?" Dean questioned, hesitantly.

"Very much so. You should come over again and watch it with me." Cas barely realised the words were coming out of his mouth, and it was too late to take them back. Dean stilled in surprise, but relaxed quickly.

"Really, I couldn't, it's your TV man, I wouldn't want to-" 

"Nope. You're watching it with me. I know you were laughing at me, and I gather you would rather not miss anything." There. That was a believable excuse, right? Dean chuckled and nodded. He checked his watch, suddenly realising how late it was.

"Shit, sorry, Cas, we have to go!" Cas suddenly felt saddened to know he would leave. 

"SAMMY! C'MON, WE HAVE TO GO!" Dean yelled, startling the house from it's quiet peace. They heard heavy footsteps as two boys left one of the rooms, making their way down the stairs. 

"I totally won that one, Sasquatch!" Gabriel argued.

"Did not! I won fair and square, you  _saw_ the points!" Sam returned. Both Cas and Dean chuckled.

"IT WAS RIGGED THEN!" 

"Okay, morons, calm it down." said Dean, smiling. "We better go, Bobby'll be lookin' for us soon." Sam nodded, and collected his bag, which was stationed at the bottom of the stairs. 

"Thanks for havin' us, man. This is a great house." Sam complimented, and Cas nodded in return. 

The Winchesters turned to leave the door, turning to say goodbye, before Dean suddenly looked at Cas again.

"You never took off your coat..?" Immediately, Castiel went rigid, and Dean, realising he'd probably stepped over the line, immediately began stammering his apologies.

"Crap, sorry man- I shouldn't'a said anything, crap..."

"No, it's okay. I just.... get rather cold." All four of them knew it was a lame response, but Dean gladly took it in. They actually got through goodbyes, this time, and the Novak brothers watched their Winchester friends drive away in a sleek, black, 1967 Impala.

After returning to their kitchen, Cas immediately set to work on the night's meal; Balth and Rafi would be home soon, as would their father, and he always ensured a meal was ready by then.

Gabriel, of course, sat down at the table, legs on the counter, and pulled out yet more sweets.

"How'd it go with Ken-Doll?" Cas dropped a knife, and it clattered on the floor, making an unpleasant noise.

"We watched Netflix." he replied, managing to keep his voice level. Gabe snorted.

"How romantic! What did 'ya watch? Was it a Chick-flick? He seems like the type..."

"We watched Sherlock. It was a rather intriguing show, honestly. That Holmes man has such talent, yet he becomes a consulting detective. Now who would do that?" Cas was glad to have found an opening for a new subject, but spoke more to himself than to Gabe.

"I've heard about that, with that guy, uh... Benny Cucumber? I don't know, somethin' weird." Castiel couldn't help but laugh at that. 

They then settled into an idle banter, chatting about unimportant things, such as school.

The Winchesters were not mentioned by either again that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock was the first thing to come to mind, I don't own any rights to anything affiliated with Sherlock BBC or at all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Dean Winchester**

Despite Dean not ending his visit to the Novaks on a particularly good note, Cas didn't show any hard feelings towards Dean.

He had gotten home with Sammy, who had jumped at the chance to continue his studying, while Dean had just texted Cas with another sincere apology. The replies were always swift, but never held any indication of a grudge. The next few days were proof of that.

The two fell into a comfortable routine, in which the Impala would swing by in a morning, to collect Castiel and Gabriel, they would meet with their friends, and head off to class when the bell rings. Dean felt so comfortable, in fact, he felt this bliss would never actually end.

So, of course, the world managed to prove him wrong.

He had the terrible misfortune of meeting Alastair.

*   *   *

Fridays were supposed to be filled with excitement, and an energy fuelled buzz. Not... quiet, unamused faces in the hallway. It seems everyone else is already completely  _done_  with the return to school. Dean couldn't help but relate.

Although he hadn't had this feeling at Sioux Falls, he had experienced it several times before; the feeling that, although the weekend is arriving, school would begin again, and the bliss would be lost.

Dean and his friends, however, were ecstatic. There had been an agreement between the group to meet up at the Roadhouse the next day, and none of them could wait.

Ellen had also been surprised, and, honestly, a little irritated; she owned the Roadhouse, and to have a group of teenagers running riot around it? Understandable. Still, she had agreed to let them, as she was looking forward to meeting Cas and Gabe, who the brothers had separately mentioned many,  _many_  times.

So, what with it being the last day of the week, Dean was cheerful, and full of life. The bell rang, and Cas, Ash, Charlie and Dean made their way to Double French, which was as boring as it sounds.

There wasn't much that could take away Dean's good mood, and French wasn't one of them.

People insulting his best friends, however... That most certainly would.

Castiel had offered to grab everybody's books on their way in through the door, so they all thanked him and walked to their table. After finding all four of them, he began to make his way over, but a boy, obviously not looking where he was going, walked into Cas, causing the two to drop the books they were holding.

Castiel, being nervous, began apologising rather profusely, not looking up. But when he did, Dean saw his face drain of all colour, eyes widening.

He took this as an opportunity to go over there.

"You should watch where you're going, Novak. You must remember what happened  _last_ time you didn't look where you were going." drawled a toneless voice. Dean's eyebrows knit in confusion when Cas didn't respond, eyes brimming with tears, and just looked even more scared.

"Um, actually, you kinda walked into  _him,_ so I didn't think that's very fair." Dean argued, and both boys gazes immediately snapped to his, Cas's eyes wide with, if possible,  _more_ panic.

"Dean-  _no!_ " 

"'Dean'... the brat that's new here, hmm?" After seeing his face, even Dean was repulsed by him; eyes too wide for a thin skull, a sinister snarl permanently etched on his pale face. He spoke in a nasal, annoying tone, that also held a faint threat. Of what? Dean didn't know. But he definitely didn't like it.

"Yeah, actually, and I'd appreciate it if you left my friend  _alone._ " His hands curled up into fists, but kept them by his sides, not wanting to initiate a a fight.

"Strange choice of 'friends' you have Dean." The other boy glances at his table and at Cas. "The red-headed lesbian nerd. The suspicious hacker with the... odd hair. The reject, waste of space." He grins wide, showing his yellowing teeth. 

Cas, who had been standing dumbfounded, sprang into action, pushing down Dean's fists, which had somehow found their way into an offensive position. 

That was when the three realised the class had silenced, all eyes turned towards the group, almost all of the faces coated with either pure fear, or... hope?

The other boy laughed aloud when he realised Dean wasn't going to attack him.

"Of course." He spun around, and began walking towards... wherever he had intended to go, before turning back and announcing, "I'm Alastair. We're going to get to know each other  _very_ well indeed."

Dean swivelled around and stomped back to his table, dragging a relieved Castiel with him.

"Who the hell was that, and why do you all look so freaking shocked?" Dean practically yelled. It was true though; Ash and Charlie had both gone extremely pale, almost as pale as Castiel had.

"He... um he's kinda..." Charlie helpfully offered. 

The teacher walked in then, so silence was once again returned. But Dean wouldn't let the subject drop, even through the teacher's incessant rambling. When,  _finally,_ she stopped talking, Dean swivelled to face Ash, who was often the first to crack, he'd found.

"Who is he? And don't give me some ominous or vague answer, tell me right now who he is." he demanded, making Charlie jump slightly. Ash sighed, knowing Dean would never stop asking if he didn't tell him now. He'd find out soon enough, anyway.

"Alastair Milton. He's kinda like the Regina George of Sioux Falls. He has shit in everybody, and I mean  _everybody._ He's a bit - okay  _seriously_ twisted. I don't think he'd hesitate to kill ya." Charlie nodded her head fervently, not saying anything, whereas Cas... just looked pretty confused.

"Who's Regina George?" Dean laughed aloud at that, releasing some of the tension in his shoulders.

"Novak! Do not disrupt the new pupil. What were you talking about? Go on, don't be shy." she added, a triumphant look on her face at Cas's hesitation. "Answer me in French, otherwise you'll have a double detention, both you  _and_ the Winchester."

Snorts and giggles emerged from the room at that. French was an optional subject that had only been introduced to their year this term, so the most anyone knew of French was 'Bonjour,' so they knew Castiel would be doomed to a detention.

Dean snapped his head to Cas, and was going to intervene, and he had just opened his mouth to argue with the teacher, when Castiel suddenly burst out with,

"Moi et mes amis avons discuté des plans pour notre voyage demain. Nous nous excusons, nous allons essayer de ne pas perturber de nouveau." The sniggering stopped, and Cas dropped his head to the table. Even the teacher had no idea what to say.

"You-  _ahem_  -you speak French?" she asked, in a small voice. Dean saw Cas smirk, but when he lifted his face, it was gone, replaced with innocence.

"Always have."  

 _Bastard,_ Dean thought.  _Actin' all innocent, damn it's cu- cool._  

The teacher resumed the lesson then, with a slightly hostile attitude towards Castiel at embarrassing her. The majority of the class, however, would shoot curious glances at Cas. Dean felt an unpleasant feeling grow in his stomach.

Charlie looked at Castiel.

"Why the  _hell_  do you know French?" Cas smirked, and replied,

"I need to do something to pass on any spare time I have." Ash blinked at him.

"How much spare time do you have, man?"

"A lot." Dean clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"You need better things to do, dude, not learning  _French,_ of all things! I thought showing you Netflix would help with that!" Dean joked, but quiet, not wanting to risk getting caught again. Cas tilted his head, eyebrows knitted together, his eyes squinting, confused.

"I did not merely learn French, Dean. I am fluent in German, Spanish and Latin. I don't understand how this is not a useful skill." 

Everyone was gob-smacked. But then, as if to destroy the air of ' _Holy Shit'_ he added,

"And I still have no idea who Regina George is."

*   *   * 

The brief break from wanting to know who Alastair was ended, and by the end of the second French lesson, Dean was about ready to strangle him. The boy would shoot looks at the group, but never tried to conceal them, as if taunting Dean. Waiting.

Dean didn't retaliate. He would have, but Cas glared at him, so he begrudgingly shut his mouth, and complained to Ash about it.

By the time English rolled around, everyone in their group was already tired of Dean's irritating comments.

"What kind of dirt does he have, anyway? How would that make him a threat?" At that, all three friends snapped their faces to Dean in shock, but no one jumped to answer him. Being an insensitive prick, it took Dean up until then to realise Alastair had powerful control techniques; he learned secrets, horribly dark secrets, and blackmailed people.

He blackmailed  _Charlie,_ and  _Ash,_ and even  _Castiel._

After his realisation, Dean quickly went pale and stammered his apologies.

"I shouldn't ha- oh God, I... I'm an asshole,  _Jesus!"_  Dean was honest in his apologies, and, fortunately, the others seemed to see that, and relaxed. 

"Just... don't ask anyone else that, 'kay?" Charlie asked, nervously. "They might not be as...  _calm_ as we are." Dean frantically nodded at that, thankful that they'd understood that he meant no harm.

The subject quickly changed.

*   *   *

"Hey, Cas, did you watch any more ' _Sherlock'?"_ questioned Dean, curious. He knew the other boy enjoyed the pilot very much, but had only talked about 'A Study In Pink'. Cas knitted his eyebrows together, in that adorable way he always does it when he's confused. (So what if Dean thought it was adorable? Didn't mean anything.)

"No. I told you I would watch it with you, as you seemed amused by my reaction." Crowley, who had been working silently but reluctantly, spluttered out a sudden laugh. Dean raised his eyebrows at the other boy.

"What the hell are you laughing at?" he asked, genuinely confused.

 "I don't suppose it matters, if you can't see it yourself." Crowley smirked, but there was no undertone of anger or threat, so the two let it slide.

"You can watch it with me tonight, if you'd like. I have rather missed the exquisite deductions from that sociopath." Cas trailed off, sounding amused. Dean laughed again.

"Sorry, dude, but I'll pass. I was gonna go for a jog again tonight." 

"Oh- I could show you where that forest is. I know you wanted to see it, and the weather is rather nice, perfect for jogging." Cas offered, and Dean's eyes lit up.

"Sure, why not. I'd have to take Sammy home first though. Hey, do you mind if I spend the night at yours? We can marathon the first season of Sherlock." he kind of hesitated with the last bit, not wanting to seem weird or clingy with friends, but Cas didn't seem to notice.

"Of course not, you'd be welcome to stay the night." At that, Crowley, who had been politely repressing sniggers, burst out laughing uncontrollably.

"Fergus,  _what_ are you laughing at?" asked a very weary Mr. Shurley (only he called Crowley 'Fergus'). He'd gotten really irritated with Crowley's blunt sarcasm, but the kid kinda grew on you. Like an 8 year old you don't understand, but keep around because he's pleasant and funny.

After calming down a bit, he said,

"Squirrel and Giraffe, here. Those two crack me up." Mr. Shurley just looked confused, and, hoping to get a straight answer, asked the same of Dean and Cas.

"I don't know. We were discussing weekend plans, and he began laughing. I don't understand." Cas replied, also confused. Mr. Shurley just shook his head, mumbling about 'ridiculous jokes', and gave Crowley a warning, resuming teaching after.

Dean could feel himself getting more anxious for school to end, wanting nothing more than to spend more time with his best friend.

So what if he couldn't help the pleasant feeling in his stomach? So what if he was happy with the idea of watching Sherlock with Cas? It didn't really matter that much.

Did it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Sorry it took so long! French translation (according to Google translate): Me and my friends have discussed plans for our trip tomorrow. Our apologies, we'll try not to disturb again


	10. Chapter 10

**Castiel Novak**

On the outside, Castiel is calm, collected and casual. He answers Dean in a smooth tone, voice staying even.

Internally? He's almost having a heart attack.

_Dean Winchester is going to stay the night at your house,_ Cas's inner muse sings. Even his voice of reason can't bear to stand on that piece of happiness. What he  _does_ push down, is the fact that they will be watching Sherlock. Together.  _Alone._

He almost wishes he didn't feel that way.

Almost.

*   *   *

He couldn't get Alastair out of his mind. No matter what, he couldn't help but flick back to the almost-threat he gave Cas.

" _Remember what happened last time you didn't look where you were going?"_ It still chills him to the bone that Alastair knew about that.

But the thing that scared him the most, was that Alastair had not gone back to Castiel at all in the few hours that followed. The other boy was known for getting revenge as quickly and swiftly as possible, and he knew Alastair had seen something in Dean that he.... well,  _liked._ That almost scared him as much as Alastair did.

When Alastair liked someone, he blackmailed them. Not in the way he did with...  _everybody,_ but he blakmailed them into being in his 'Demon' gang. Cas didn't know how, and he hoped he'd never find out.

By the time dinner rolled around, Castiel had almost completely relaxed. It had never taken Alastair more than a few hours to get revenge, so he figured he was in the safe zone.

Until he got jumped in the dingy school bathroom.

*   *   *

He'd only used the bathrooms at school twice before, and on both occasions he was desperate to go, though not exactly for... conventional reasons. Cas avoided the place as much as possible, otherwise, and so did everybody else with common sense. 

So, that lunch, when he went to the bathroom, he really did need to go. He wasn't expecting the door to slam shut behind him, or someone to shove him against the first stall wall.

But then again, Sioux Falls  _is_ full of surprises. _  
_

Castiel knew it was Alastair, and inwardly cursed himself for letting his guard down. 

Alastair had yanked the front of Castiel's coat, and used it to force Castiel against the stall, holding him there in a surprisingly firm and strong grip.

"Had to get on my nerves, didn't you Castiel?" The question was obviously rhetorical, and he didn't dare reply with a sarcastic remark. He wasn't that stupid, and he most certainly didn't have a death wish.

"You and your...  _hmm,_ Winchester? Yes... Your  _Winchester._ Had to put me out of my good mood. I'm disappointed in you. I thought you'd learned?" it was phrased more as a question, but Castiel knew of the underlying threat in his tone. 

The memories of his and Alastair's past encounters, to phrase it as pleasant as possible, came flooding back, and Castiel felt his eyes brim with tears, breath increasing in pace.

"I-I didn't-  _Couldn't-_ I..." Cas spluttered, trying to redeem himself. But he already knew, he was Alastair's new target, whether or not he had been one before, it didn't matter. Both he and Dean were, now.

Castiel should have told Dean to back off of Alastair. 

"You have to understand, Castiel. I liked you. You were always so calm, and you never went crying away. I like that Dean boy you have. I'd like to know what pushes his buttons." Alastair had released his hold on Castiel, but the trench coated boy didn't dare run. He wouldn't get far anyway.

" _No!"_ Castiel found himself hissing. The other boy raised his eyebrows, again making his eyes look to large for his face, and smirked.

"I knew it. Thanls for the help, Castiel. I hope I didn't...  _drag_ any old ghosts back. Would hate to have to resort to them again." Alastair, seizing the opportunity to strike, punched Castiel in the stomach, fairly hard, and he doubled over, gagging. 

He left, leaving Castiel to consider his words. They were deliberate, meaningful, but also extremely vague. As he always was. He thought about the old memories that had resurfaced, and just couldn't stop himself anymore.

Castiel fell to his knees, and let out a sob, several tears flowing down his face. He only let himself be in this state of vulnerability for a moment, before gathering himself, and shutting himself in the nearest stall.

He'd promised himself he wouldn't. Not again. At least.... not so soon. But, what with Alastair breathing down his neck again, the stress of his home life, and the crippling memories of...  _her_ , he couldn't bring himself to resist. _  
_

Reaching in his bag, Cas took out a small, black pocket-like object. After swallowing deeply, he opened it, and fished out the tiny piece metal that resided in there.

He stared at it for a moment, remembering how little and weightless it always felt, yet was so heavy with emotion. Then, Cas collected it in his right palm, the sharper edge facing out. He lowered the left sleeve of his trench coat carefully, revealing thick, matted scars, and a few fresher (though mostly healed) slashes across his wrist.

He brought the tiny blade to his upper forearm, and, for the first time since meeting Dean Winchester and his friends, allowed it to slice through his skin.

*   *   *

The cut wasn't too deep, but it stung enough, bleeding only a little, so Castiel cleaned it up quickly, and dropped his sleeve again. He lifted his shirt though, to see a medium sized bruise forming on his stomach, though rather faint.

Castiel sighed, and made his way out of the bathroom stalls, in search of Dean. He didn't know why his mind always jumped to Dean. He didn't even know what he would tell Dean when he found him, but he searched nonetheless.

As he searched, he half drifted into mindless thoughts, mostly about his regret of the cut in his forearm. He'd let himself down again, and no matter how much he was determined not to do it again, he knew he eventually would.

With these thoughts in mind, he practically walked into Gabriel, who was also not paying any attention to where he was going.

"Sorr- Cas!" Gabe muttered, voice picking up when he saw his big brother. "Hey, are you okay, big bro?" he asked, ever the curious sibling. 

_He must have noticed your eyes were red,_ Castiel thought, vaguely.

"Um- no, I... I'm just... tired." he answered lamely, Even Gabriel must've thought it was weak as he raisied an eyebrow. However, thankfully, he didn't press him for details, instead changing the subject to that of the Winchesters.

"Sasquatch's brother is looking for you." It was Cas's turn to raise his eyebrows at that.

"... Sasquatch?" Gabe grinned.

"'Ya know! Like the Yeti. People call him Sasquatch, and,  _damn_ , that kid is tall. Like a  _Yeti."_ He enunciated each word carefully, knowing full well that even with that, Cas wouldn't understand. The older brother knitted his eyebrows together, and frowned.

"I still don-" he began, but was cut off by Gabe shaking his head and chuckling.

"Whatever, bro. Dean's looking for you, he's by the benches outside with Jo, Ash, Charlie and Sam. They asked me to look for you." Cas jumped back in confusion.

"Why?" he asked, as they began walking towards the benches. Gabe sighed in disbelief.

"Dude, you've been gone for 15 minutes. Didn't think it took that long to do your business, Cas." he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, but Castiel pointedly ignored him.

"I got... um- I got talking to... someone." He was using the broadest and most vague description. Gabriel's eyes widened, and he grinned wickedly.

_He has the wrong impression,_ Castiel thought, panic rising.  _He thinks you found someone._

"Who was she? Tell me!" Gabe insisted, just as they were in front of the benches. Charlie saw them first, but cocked her head to the side after seeing Gabe's oddly cheery tone.

"What the-" she began, and everybody else started to notice the pair had returned. 

"Hey, man, where 'ya been? Dude's been lookin' for ya." Ash said, in a casual tone. He lost track of the voices after that, each one trying to ask him where he'd been, before Gabriel cheerily announced,

"Castiel got  _talking_ to someone! A  _girl!_ " Extra emphasis on the 'talking', and 'girl' part, to convey the meaning better. Everyone quietened after that, and Castiel felt his face flush bright red. He didn't know where Gabriel had gotten this idea from, and he suddenly felt the need to correct him.

"I didn't- it was, um, someone from class." he insisted, using the vaguest terms possible. Unfortunately, this, coupled with his blushing face, dug him further into this idea that Gabriel had gotten.

Everyone started laughing at that.

Cas risked glancing at the group, and saw Jo's head thrown back in an amused laugh. Charlie was sporting a large smirk and a small chuckle, Ash was whistling, Sam was grinning.

He honestly didn't know that everbody wanted him to be with someone. Well, sure, they'd all asked him about anybody he'd been looking to date, but he had carefully avoided the question. Maybe now would be the right time.

His eyes landed on Dean last. He wasn't smiling like the others. Sure, a polite smile sat on his lips, but it didn't reach his eyes. His eyes seemed almost... confused. Pained. Castiel didn't understand the meaning behind it. 

He passed it off as concern. Cas didn't look like much, probably weak and small, and Dean  _was_ his best friend. Maybe he was a bit overprotective? He quickly dismissed the thought, however, as they had been friends barely a week.

When the laughing died down, Castiel glared pointedly at the ground, not wanting to look at anyone, and cleared his throat.

"I really didn't...  _talk_ to anyone, not like  _that._ " he began, losing courage. He was quickly interrupted, however, by the last voice he expected to hear.

"Pfft, nothin to be ashamed of kid. If I'd have known, I would've left you alone for a bit longer." Dean's voice sounded slightly strained, and thick, but if anyone noticed, they ignored it.

Suddenly gripped by an overpowering feeling, not quite anger, not quite defiance (he didn't know himself what it was), he snapped his head to face the group, and blurted out,

"I'm gay."

There was no hesitation. No uncontrolled yelling. Not what he was expecting in the reply, even from his brother.

"Well, what was  _his_ name then?" Gabe asked, without missing a beat. His smile had not wavered at all, and, with a quick glance at the others, he saw none of theirs had either. Charlie looked downright  _ecstatic._  

Dean's smile had grown. It reached his eyes now, and there was nothing clouding the look he gave Cas.

Neither of them understood what that look meant.

Castiel grinned, relieved, but replied to Gabriel with,

"I told you, it was just someone from class." Cas felt lighter with that off of his chest, and it seemed Gabe had backed off, arms raised in the air with a mock surrender.

"'Kay, big bro. Whatever you say." His signature smirk still easily sitting on his lips.

The bell rang then, obliterating the bliss that had settled upon the group.

"See you all tomorrow?" Jo asked, gathering her bag. Everybody muttered their agreement, and they parted ways, heading to their separate classes.

*   *   *

Class flew by. Castiel noticed Dean would glance at him, ever now and then, not too often.

But it worried him. Probably more than it should have. It struck him that perhaps Dean wasn't totally comfortable with the idea of Castiel's orientation, and, however much he hoped it wasn't true, he knew it probably was.

It wouldn't be the first time he was shunned for it, and this would mean it wouldn't be the last.

However, Cas put on a cheery mask, and talked to Charlie.

"Y'know, it's kind of nice to know someone else who's gay. I'm sorry if I'm being, like, offensive or anything, it's just... I always felt like the only one, the odd one out. You know?" she asked, slightly hopeful butstill hesitant. Cas smiled softly in return, knowing and sympathising completely.

"Of course. I often felt alone about it, but you guys haven't treated me any different at all for it. I'm grateful for that." no matter what sincerity the words held, he still shot a sidelong glance at Dean, who was pointedly looking at his work.

*   *   *

By the time he and Dean got to the Impala, Sam, Gabe and Jo were already waiting, leaning against the dark paint. Cas grinned, knowing Dean was going to yell at them.

"Don't lean on the car! Seriously, how many times do I have to tell you people?" Everybody around the car was sporting a smirk, but slid off the car nonetheless. Dean raced over to check for any chips in the paint, while everyone else got in the car, Jo, Sam and Gabe occupying the back seat (which was surprisingly large) and Dean and Cas sitting up front.

"You guys are lucky you didn't chip the paint. I swear to god, if you  _had_  though..." Dean grumbled, trailing off at the end. The others in the car erupted with laughter, even Castiel.

They turned out of the school car park, and Dean informed Sam of the plans for tonight.

"Sammy, I'm staying at Cas's tonight so I need you to look after Jo," Sam laughed and Jo huffed, and you could hear the smile in Dean's voice. He winked in the mirror at Jo, who just rolled her eyes and failed to repress a smirk.

After a couple of minutes of comfortable silence, Jo suddenly addressed to Cas,

"Hey, Cas, I- uh, I don't wanna seem...  _forward_ , or anything, I just..." It seemed everyone in the car was interested, as Jo hardly ever hesitated with someone. She continued, clearing her throat, "I know some guys, and I, uh, wondered if I could, y'know, set 'ya up on a date?" _  
_

Cas was truly touched. He hadn't expected such a positive responses to this, and now Jo was offering to help him get a date? Obviously, he wasn't interested, but he was touched all the same. He turned to the young blonde, who was blushing furiously, and replied,

"Thank you, Jo, really. But I'm not really...  _looking_ for someone at the moment. Though I appreciate your gesture dearly." The emotion was thick in his voice, and Jo nodded, a smile playing on her lips.

"'Course. Let me know, though, 'kay?" 

"Of course." Cas assured her.

The cut on his forearm stung less, as Castiel could barely remember it was there now.


	11. Chapter 11

**Dean Winchester**

He felt guilty, pulling up to their home. He knew it was kind of unreasonable to leave his best friend and his brother's best friend in the car. So he invited them in. All the while, Bobby was in the porch, a cool beer in hand.

"Cas, Gabriel, sit inside for a while. I have to get my stuff anyway." Cas looked slightly confused, while Gabriel seemd to jump at the idea.

"We will be perfectly content-" the blue eyed boy began, but rudely interrupted by his little brother.

"Hell yeah!" He was halfway out the car already, so Castiel just sighed, rolled his eyes and left the car. Dean had a smug smile painted on his face, until Sam piped up with,

"Yeah, he needs to take a while to sort out all his make up." The other siblings laughed at the joke, while Dean just yelled,

"Shut up,  _Samantha!"_

"Jerk."

"Bitch." Suddenly, Bobby, loitering silently by the front porch, shouted,

"You idjits have been here 30 seconds, and 'yer already yellin'! Quit it!" but he still held a smile of adoration and his eyes were soft.

"Hello, Mr. Singer. I believe it has been around 8 years since we last met?" Castiel questioned, walking towards Bobby. The older man looked taken aback, taking a few seconds to regain his composure and scan through his memories.

"'Nah... You ain't that cute little kid Michael always brought with him?" Castiel flushed slightly before nodding shyly. Dean decided to intervene.

"Cas, you said he brought you, like, twice?" he asked, remembering the conversation vaguely from their first class together. Bobby heaved a hearty laugh, and answered for him.

"Aww, no, this kid was  _always_ around, 'parently he'd beg Michael to let him come each time he did. He'd look at the pictures I had of cars I'd fixed up, and within a few weeks he could name the make, and around about the date it was made." he ruffled Cas's hair affectionately, and his face flushed with embarrassment, a tiny smile itching his way onto his lips.

Sam and Gabriel were giggling at their sides at the exchange, and they all made a point of ignoring them, until Bobby remarked, mischievously,

"Dunno why you're laughing, kid, I remember you too. Don't think I forgot the bathroom incident, Gabriel." It was the groups turn to laugh at Gabriel, and Bobby merely winked at the Winchesters.

Despite it being years since Bobby had seen them, he was completely natural around them, something Dean appreciated very much.

The older Winchester left then, to collect some clothes, whereas the Novaks sat, albeit slightly awkwardly, in the living room. When he returned, he heard Bobby ask,

"So how is Michael anyway? Still working with cars?" Dean could hear the genuine curiosity in his voice, and was intrigued when Castiel answered,

"Yes, actually. He received his mechanical engineering degree several months ago, and is currently working in Florida, I believe." His tone was courteous and polite, as if he weren't addressing an old friend, though there was nothing rude about it.

Dean, entering the room, saw Gabriel roll his eyes, but before he had a chance to say anything, Dean announced,

"Okay, I've got my stuff." The Novak brothers stood up, as Bobby replied,

"Have fun, kid. I assume things have changed for you two since I saw you last, but I remember they were good kids." Dean grinned, and walked out, opening the door to the Impala.

"Later Bobby!" he yelled, pulling out of the driveway. Bobby just laughed and waved.

*   *   *

"So. Gabriel. What happened in the bathroom incident?" Dean asked, mischievously, when they got to the Novaks house. Gabriel simply glared at him.

"Don't push it Winchester." Dean rolled his eyes, before turning to Cas, and questioning,

"Where shall I put my stuff?" Cas shifted nervously, looking at his feet.

"We have no spare rooms, I'm afraid, so, um, you'll take my room, and I'll be on the couch." Dean looked scandalised.

"Oh,  _hell_ no! I'm the guest, I'll take the couch." Cas looked pissed off, and insisted,

"Dean,  _no."_ They were interrupted by Gabriel laughing his ass off.

"What's so funny, asshat?" Dean demanded.

"I don't even know where to start with you!" came the amused reply, before the shorter boy escaped upstairs.

Dean's green eyes met Cas's starry blue, and they nodded in a silent truce, agreeing to return to the subject later that evening. Dean cleared his throat.

"So... We going jogging then?"

*   *   *

It took 10 minutes for both of them to change, and another 15 to actually get to the forest Cas was supposed to be showing Dean.

Well, it was only because Dean was trying to distract him by climbing almost every tree they went past.

"HEY CAS!" Dean boomed, for the third time. When Cas let out an exasperated sigh and turned to look, he clapped his hand to his face in embarrassment.

Dean was hanging from midway up the tree. Upside down, no less. Cas's thumb and forefinger were pinched around his nose, but Dean could still see, even from his perch, that he was repressing a smile.

"Dean, what are you doing? Are you  _trying_ to break your neck?" Dean suddenly had an admittedly terrible idea. 

Dean let out a loud yelp, and dropped one leg from the tree, so he was hanging from only his left knee. Obviously, he had done it before, and had enough practice so as not to fall. But Castiel didn't need to know that.

Immediately, however, Cas raced into a defensive position, looking extremely worried, but still firm.

"Dean!" Cas had begun climbing the tree, before Dean suddenly began to laugh. The green eyed boy grasped the branch below him, and dropped himself, gracefully twisting mid-air and landing on bent knees, sprung like a cat.

"You asshole!" Cas mimicked the movement Dean had performed, with, if possible, more grace and control, leaving Dean slightly slack jawed.

"Dean, you realise that you actually just endangered yourself, purely for your own amusement? You are an  _idiot!_ " Cas's expression was angry, and slightly threatening, so Dean recoiled, bringing his hands up. _  
_

"Woah, sorry Cas I-" he broke off when Castiel started laughing, and realisation flooded him.

"Now  _YOU_ are the asshole! ... Asshole." Dean yelled indignantly, as Cas doubled over, tears pricking his eyes from the laughter.

"You should've seen your face!" he was still chuckling lightly, and even though Dean was slightly mad, he still didn't have the heart to repress his smile.

"Yeah, whatever chuckles. Show me this friggin' forest before I push you into a tree."

"Why on earth would you do that?" inquired Cas, tone serious, face blank. Dean rolled his eyes.

"I'm  _joking,_ dude." 

Cas's mouth formed a silent 'O' shape, and Dean had to look away, because he looked so damn....

 _Nothing._ He yelled at himself inside of his head.  _He looks like your friend._ _Idiot._

*   *   *

Thanks to their tree themed distractions (which included  _Castiel_ climbing trees this time), it was after four by the time they even got to the forest.

"Woah..." expressed Dean, in awe of the beauty of the forest. Which, Dean knew was very clichè, but he couldn't help but marvel at it.

The greens were a succinct, light shade, and the trees hung tall and mighty; the path was hardly muddy, and fairly clear, making it easier to navigate without a risk of getting lost. In the distance, birds could be heard singing and chirping, and the faint dripping of water from most likely a forest. 

"Yes, I did tell you the place was quite marvellous." Castiel replied, a steady voice present.

"Well, you... under exaggerated."

"Is that even a possibility?"

"It is now." Dean's easy smile returned to his lips, before abruptly twisting towards Cas, interjecting, "Race 'ya to the big tree over there." 

Barely giving him time to process his words, Dean took off at a sprint. The tree in question was around 30 metres away, meaning he would get an adrenaline rush from the push, and with some competition, hopefully even more.

It didn't take long for Cas to catch up with him, as they seemed to share an even pace. They easily matched each other's strides. As they got closer to the tree, Cas quickened his pace, and Dean copied. Unfortunately, he forgot about the small ditch that resided just before the tree; he'd encountered it before.

Cas's foot slipped into his foot, and he lurched sideways, barging into Dean, who also got knocked over like a pin at a bowling alley.

"Cheat," Dean huffed, catching his breath. "You did that on purpose."

An amused smile spread across Cas's face, as he laughed at Dean's tone.

"I have heard a phrase, and I believe it applies here: 'If I am going down, you're coming with me.'"

Dean doubled over laughing at how unpredictable Castiel was. One minute, he didn't know who Regina George was, the next, he was mocking Dean like an old friend.

It was comforting.

"I demand a rematch." argued Dean, light heartedly. Cas gave a courteous nod, smile never breaking.

"To that tree over there." he pointed it out, and they prepared to go.

"3... 2.... 1....  _Go!"_ Castiel announced taking off at a sprint.

Dean overtook him within seconds, but for some reason, Cas slowed to a jog. Dean turned around, but continued to run backwards.

"C'mon. You know you're gonna lose, that's why you're slowing down!" Cas laughed, but responded,

"I wouldn't run backwards if I were you, Dean."

"Oh yeah? Why not? Tryin' to catch me off-" his words were cut off by his own voice yelping, as his foot did not connect with anything. He toppled backwards, falling only a short distance before landing with a loud  _SPLASH_  in a large area of water. _  
_

"Careful. I believe there is a small lake behind you, Dean."

Cas's face and voice were both so serious, that Dean, sopping wet, yelled,

"YOU FUCKER!" Cas's poker face fell into a bout of laughter, as the insult didn't have the intended effect. Dean assumed he must look like an angry, wet kitten.

He had to admit, even to himself, it was an amusing thought.

*   *   *

Dean did look like an angry, wet kitten on the way back to Cas's house. Every couple of minutes or so, Cas would give him a sideways glance, and repress laughter.

He wasn't very good at repressing laughter, so it came out as a strangled laugh, that Castiel refused to admit.

Dean narrowed his eyes at him, but never argued back, though that seemed to make him laugh more.

Finally, he gave up and joined the laughing, albeit begrudgingly.

When they got back to Cas's house, they were met by the door swinging open, and a tall man with blonde hair standing in their way.

"Cassie, where on  _earth_ have you been?" the other boy began, but quickly grew confused at the sight of Dean. "... Do I want to know? No? Okay, bye bye." and with that, he walked away, heading towards the kitchen. 

Dean raised an eyebrow at Castiel, clearly questioning,  _Who the hell was that?_ Castiel sighed,

"One of my other brothers, Balthazar. He goes to college, but always stays here. Personally I do not see the point, but..."

The pair made their way into the kitchen to explain the situation to 'Balthazar'.

"We were jogging, and Dean did not realise that there was a lake in the forest, and idiotically fell in." The older brother laughed, before turning to Dean.

"You may want to change clothes, it may be warm, but you'll still catch a cold." Dean rolled his eyes, but nodded, making his way upstairs, but managing to stay within earshot.

It was Balthazar's turn for questions now.

"Not bad, Cassie. Where'd you find him?" Cas resigned himself to answering, knowing the older Novak would get his answers any way he could.

"School."

"Why's he here?"

"He's staying the night, if that doesn't bother you?" Balthazar made a surprised noise, as if going to interrupt, but Cas rambled on, "I invited him to stay as we're going to be watching the remainder of the first season of Sherlock. He introduced me to the show, and he seemed to enjoy my reactions to it."

This dug him into a deeper hole. 

"So it's like  _that._  Hmm. Have fun Cassie." Dean could hear the grin in his voice, even from the stairs, and he couldn't help but wonder what Balthazar was implying.

After changing swiftly, he walked downstairs, only to hear an abrupt,

"Oh, and Cassie? This was posted for you, I don't know who it's from." The blonde brother handed over a thing, white envelope with large, curved, spindly handwriting on it, and, even from the back, Dean could see Cas tense.

Being a fantastic older brother, Balthazar didn't notice, but Dean didn't want to start an argument, so he let it be. He heard the smack of an envelope being opened, and he walked over to where Castiel stood, reading with wide eyes.

Within moments, he had finished reading, and, with tears in his eyes, he flung it across the room. Shocked, Dean jerked back, worried about the intense anger in Cas's eyes. Dean went to cross the room to retrieve the envelope, but a rough, threatening voice interceded.

"Don't you dare, Dean Winchester." Even more shocked, Dean stopped in his path and turned to face his best friend, whose face now held an eerily calm, but familiar expression.

Dean had seen it on his father's face before. However, that didn't stop him from being curious about the letter, so he slowly edged towards it.

"Cas, it's just a letter, I-"

" _Don't. You. Dare."_ Each word was enunciated carefully, punctuated with a hiss of anger after each word. How anyone could ever mess with Castiel, Dean didn't know, because the way he was looking at Dean, he looked threatening enough to attack him.

Dean slowly nodded.

"Okay, man, sorry. I just... Sorry." Dean rubbed the back of his neck nervously, but, thanfully, Dean's agreement to step down calmed Castiel, and relief flooded his face.

"My apologies, Dean. I..." Dean cut him off.

"'S'okay, dude, your privacy. I get it." Castiel nodded.

"Shall I turn on Netflix and get some pie?" The Winchester's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

"You  _still_ have pie? And hell yeah!" The two were thankful to have gotten past the awkwardness of earlier, so they sat down in the front room, watching Sherlock together, eating pie.

They sat much closer to each other than they had before, but neither of them commented on the space.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! To make up for it, it's nearly twice as long as usual ^.^ This was quite difficult to write (the last portion) so bear with me, please!  
> Comments are greatly appreciated, as are any suggestions as where you think the story could go :D

**Castiel Novak**

He was worried. He was freaking  _terrified_.   

The letter, it was from Alastair, Castiel knew as soon as he'd seen the large scrawl painted in dark crimson ink. What he  _didn't_ know, and didn't really want to find out, was what it said.

Presumably, it was more secrets, more ammunition that Alastair had dug up, that he had had a friend high up in the system to traipse through old files. Just so he could flip it round and poke Castiel with horrors of his past.

Last time it had been Mother. 

He didn't know what else there was to use against him.

He found out fairly quickly. 

*   *   *

Dean was in the room when he hurled the parchment-like envelope across the room. Dean was the only one Castiel could take out his rage and anxiety on.

The wild and malicious look must have been present in his eyes after Castiel explicitly ordered Dean to back off, as he did so, without too much reluctance or hesitation.

Two phrases swam around Cas's head: 

_I must find out more about that Winchester of yours. I hear he has a brother? How lovely._

And simply, rudely:

_I hope I didn't cut too deep into old wounds, Castiel. That would be impolite._

It was with those crimson stained words that stabbed at Cas's thoughts. 

 _He knows, about everything, he knows, and he'll use it against me,_ Castiel thought, desperately.

These thoughts were fleeting, and he found himself offering aloud to his guest,

"Shall I turn on Netflix and get some pie?" which was met with enthusiasm that was not at all forced, and completely natural.

It took a few moments for preparations to be made, before they ultimately retired to the couches, allowing  _Sherlock_ to begin playing, sitting much closer than they had before.

*   *   *

For some reason, he did not find  _The Blind Banker_ to be that interesting of an episode. He paid rapt attention in any case, knowing that the show obviously had down points. After the episode had finished, Dean laughed, and said,

"Yeah, I didn't like that one much either. Dunno why, just... Don't." the other boy shrugged his shoulders in a nonchalant manner, and Cas laughed.

The next episode started then, and, again, Castiel became enthralled in it's beautiful storytelling, and marvelled in the brilliance of the duo, Watson and Holmes.

"I rather like Molly," Castiel announced, fondly. "Though it's rather a shame that Sherlock treats her as such. He has no regards for emotions, does he?" Dean just chuckled, and nudged him playfully in the side.

"'Course not! But that's why he's a good detective." It was Cas's turn to laugh, and their attention returned to the screen, where Molly was introducing her boyfriend, Jim from IT.

*   *   *

"How does he not know that the Earth goes round the sun? Rather primitive piece of information, really." Cas quipped, sighing. He could see in the corner of his eye that throughout most of the show, a smirk had sat upon Dean's lips. Castiel kind of wanted to wipe it off with-

 _No. He is your_ friend. 

It seemed that Dean really  _was_ enjoying his reactions, but he didn't respond to Cas's queries.

*   *   *

"'Please Collect'? Is he targeting Moriarty now?" Cas's breath was sharp, tense, waiting for the season's intricate plot to be revealed, and to truly know the identity of the man whose genius matched that of Sherlock.

" _Yes!_ Now watch, it gets good!"

Castiel was definitely not disappointed.

He gasped in surprise and shock, as he realised that John had stepped out to meet Sherlock. However, the false pretence of betrayal did not last long, as it was revealed he was strapped to a bomb, and Moriarty truly was at the Swimming Pool.

" _I gave you my number. I thought you might call."_ came an odd, but strangely familiar voice, and a well framed shot prevented the viewers from seeing properly if you hadn't guessed already.

Cas's eyes were blown wide with anticipation, and they widened further at the dramatic reveal.

"Jim from IT?" Castiel snapped his head to Dean, who was barely repressing laughter. "MOLLY HOOPER DATED  _MORIARTY_?" Dean couldn't repress his laughter any more, and, as he was laughing so much, they had to temporarily pause the show.

"Dude, your face is  _gold!"_

"I take it I'm interrupting something, Castiel?" came a deep voice from the door, one that Cas flinched at, and scolded himself for not remembering Raphael.

"Me and my friend, Dean, are watching Sherlock. There was a rather dramatic revelation and he was laughing at my reaction." explained Cas, calmly.

His brother nodded at both Castiel and Dean, and exited the room.

Dean shook his head, a smile still lingering on plush, pink lips, that Castiel tried very hard not to look at. They resumed the episode.

As it turns out, they were only moments away from the ending itself, so Cas had little time to savour the episode, but gasped loudly in shock at the twist that had presented itself. And then the credits began to roll.

Dean shut off Netflix, a grin now covering his entire face.

"That is an extremely unkind and dramatic pinnacle of tension." Cas grumbled, finding it unfair that he'd have to wait until the next day, perhaps later, to receive further details on the fate of Holmes, Watson and Moriarty.

"Dude, it you thought that cliffhanger was bad, wait till you see season 2's. I haven't seen season 3, yet, so that one'll be a surprise for me too." then, Dean winked at Cas, and the blue eyed boy felt his face flush a bright red, and quickly walked into the kitchen, taking out the meal he had prepared earlier.

He could hear Dean laughing at him in the living room, and a begrudging smile found it's way onto Castiel's face.

"What are you doing?" inquired Dean, who now sat on the kitchen worktop. 

"Cooking. I prepared the meal this morning to save time later on. It is fortunate that I often make leftovers."

"Oh." Dean replied simply, obviously embarrassed. "Should'a given a bit more notice, sorry."

Cas looked over his shoulder, and laughed at how flustered Dean looked.

"Don't over think it, Dean, it's fine." He also shot him a reassuring smile, and got a weak one in return.

*   *   *

Castiel's father returned just in time for dinner, as usual.

"Who's this, Castiel?" he asked, shooting a careful glance at Dean. There was not so much as a 'Hello' from his father, but he was used to it.

"My friend, Dean Winchester. He will be spending the night." Instead of replying, his father simply nodded, then set himself on his usual chair in the dining room. Gabriel and Balthazar came bounding down the stairs enthusiastically. 

"What did 'ya make, Cassie?" Balthazar asked, an easy grin resting on his pale face. Cas smiled, replying,

"Beef stew, with a side of mashed potatoes." His tone was vaguely proud, as he usually was after successfully cooking. That was met wth a murmur of appreciation, and so the group, including Raphael, dug into their meals.

Immediately after tasting, both Dean and Gabriel sighed with joy at the taste in unison, but stifling them at the same time. It was comical the look that they gave each other, before the table erupted in laughter, the pair going red. Even Rafi had a begrudging smile on his face.

When the laughter died down, Dean remarked,

"I'd've thought you'd be used to the cooking by now, kid." Gabe shook his head.

"Nah, Cassie always manages to surprise us."

The family plus Dean continued to eat their meals in a comfortable silence, until Balthazar quietly, nervously spoke up.

"Um.. I've heard from Michael and Lucifer." Everyone, excluding Dean, snapped their heads up to face Balthazar, a silent plea to continue.

"They're talking again, and..." he trailed off, losing his nerve again. Balth cleared his throat. "They're coming to visit in a few weeks." They all sat in a stunned silence, except for Dean, who sat awkwardly, rather like a confused fish.

It was Father who spoke first.

"Together?" Balth nodded in answer, which was met with weak smiles. The family knew how unpredictable the twins were, and how worse it would be around the family.

One moment, they were like best friends, the next, they were blaspheming each other's names, and insulting life choices. In hindsight, neither brothers were really that unsuccessful; Michael had a steady job as a successful mechanic in Florida, and while Lucifer was also situated there, he was a real estate agent, with an incredible record for selling homes.

Both were only 26, making both lifestyles an impressive feat.

*   *   *

It was after 9 by the time the all finished, washed up and put away the dishes. Castiel could feel the beginnings of sleepiness in his eyes, so, inviting Dean, he traipsed up to his bedroom.

Opening the door, he heard Dean gasp, and say,

"Dude, your room is  _massive!_  Why the hell is your bed so big?" Cas rolled his eyes, but the question seemed to be rhetorical, asimmediately he went to investigate the room, walking around and staring at the plain, beige coloured walls. However, when Dean caught sight of the painting that hung above Cas's bed, he froze, staring at it in shock. 

Castiel frowned.

"Do you not like that piece?" Shocked, Dean faced Castiel, unspoken words hesitant in his throat.

"No, I do, I... really do. It's.. beautiful."

The painting was that of large, majestic, outstretched wings. That was it, no angel attached, no man bowing down before them. Just wings.

But they  _were_ beautiful. Extremely so.

Each feather seemed to hold so much accuracy and detail, brush strokes gently pressing lighter colours into dark where shadows met light. The first colour you see upon first glance is a dark, shimmering grey, but upon closer inspection, there are flecks of several colours all around the feathers.

Turquoise shined lightly on the tip of upper wings, but they faded to an emerald green, as if outlining the feathers, not unlike that of a peacock. 

Every part of the wings had it's own light gradient, not just one focused area. Around the outer edges, the feathers were slightly ruffled, frayed, but it just added a more realistic touch to the entire painting, as did the slightly angled left wing, as if portraying how desperate it felt to want to fly away, but spent so much time falling. Almost like it didn't remember how.

Castiel was compelled to agree.

"It is some of my finer work." Then, he added as an afterthought, "I shall have to do another one."

Dean was slack jawed for a few seconds, but then began spluttering in shock, eyes wide.

"You-  _you painted this-_ holy  _shit_ Cas, is there anything you  _can't_ do? Jeez..." he ran a hand through his air, causing it to stick up oddly, which Castiel definitely did not want to run his own hands through.

Instead, Castiel humorously quips,

"You really are very articulate, aren't you Dean?" Dean gave him a 'Bitchface' big enough to rival that of his brother. Cas laughed at him.

"It really is amazing." Dean complimented him, and Cas admittedly felt a flush rise up to his cheeks.

"It took a few months to get it as good as this, and I am rather pleased with it."

"When did you make it?"

"When I was 14." Again, Dean's jaw dropped almost comically, and Cas gave a genuine chuckle, and Dean soon joined in. It was a few moments of Dean looking around his room nervously, that Cas realised they still had not decided on who was sleeping where.

"What would you like to do about sleeping arrangements? I will gladly sleep on the couch-" he'd barely finished before Dean hissed a  _No!_

Dean faced his overly large bed, and an idea seemed to strike him, albeit hesitantly and reluctantly. The other boy brought his arm up to scratch behind his neck, nervously.

"Well, honestly, your bed looks really freakin' big, so... um, if you don't mind, uh,  _sharing,"_ he barely got through the sentence without stuttering, and Cas managed to repress a smirk.

"Of course not Dean." 

He looked extremely relieved, but also awkward. 

"The bathroom is there, if you'd like to change." Cas offered, trying to make him more comfortable. The other boy made a noise of surprise, and whirled around to face the door.

"You have a bathroom in your room? Dude.." he sounded vaguely impressed once again, but bustled into the small room, plucking his bag from the floor as he went.

Waiting until Dean had clicked the door shut behind him, Cas went downstairs quietly to retrieve the letter he had flung across the room in his rage earlier.

It was slightly torn along one edge, but other than that, the parchment remained almost entirely intact. He crept back upstairs, relieved to find Dean was still in the bathroom. Cas hid it subtly, just under a mat by the door.

The door opened, and Dean emerged in an old, worn AC/DC shirt, and what looked like old slacks that hung low on his hips. Not that Castiel was looking.

"Dude, your bathroom is fancy as hell!" his voice was quiet, respectful, but also full of awe. 

"Why would my bathroom be compared to hell, I don't under-" Cas was interrupted by Dean's chuckling.

"Figure of speech, Cas. Now... you go do your... Cas thing, or whatever. I'm checking out the bed." Of course, Cas didn't understand that that could be taken as an innuendo, therefore not understanding why Dean went red. He ignored it, however, and went to the bathroom.

*   *   *

Cas emerged a only a few moments later, but was already met with the sight of Dean curled up on one side of his bed, eyes closed.

Cas gave a small smile, and got in bed too, staying on the other side of the bed. That left the bed with a spacious gap between the two.

He could hear that Dean's breathing did not match that of a sleeping person, so he knew he was awake, though neither of them said anything. Both of tem were content with relaxing after a long day.

*   *   *

He lay awake long after Dean's breathing had evened out. Cas couldn't sleep - how could he? Knowing that Alastair would find ways to bring him down left him with a cold, heavy feeling in his chest.

The entire house was silent, like it would be, at 11:37 PM. This was his opportunity to go over the letter again. 

He slowly peeled the covers away, bringing his feet to rest lightly on the carpeted floor. He didn't bother to check on Dean, knowing by his still even breathing that he was still asleep.

Grasping the letter in his hand, he lay against the wall in the bathroom, and read silently.

_Dear Castiel,_

_It is rather pleasant to speak with you again Castiel. Though I wish it were on better terms._

_You can either be of great help to me, or be in my way again. I do hope you won't choose the latter, it hadn't been much fun for you last time, was it? It was for me._

_You know that I know everything about everyone. At the click of_ _button, or a word to an old friend, I can bring everything you know crashing to the ground. Though, what does intrigue me, is your choice of friends._

_I must find out more about that Winchester of yours. I hear he has a brother? How lovely._

_But I digress; surely you must remember the system from our last communications? I assure you, they have not changed._

_Do not try anything, Castiel. I will bring you down if you do._

_Yours faithfully,_

_A. M._

_P.S_ _I hope I didn't cut too deep into old wounds, Castiel. That would be impolite._

Castel was once again shaking with rage, and now fear at fully absorbing Alastair's words.

And then, he had to do it again.

He needed to press the thin, metallic edge to his skin, to feel the skin part, to know that he has at least some control.

He was quiet as he searched for his spare blade, hidden at the back of his medicine cabinet.

Cas pulled up yet another long sleeve on his hoodie, the one he often slept in, and dragged the blade carefully across the area below the wrists, allowing a small hiss of pain to escape from his mouth.

He did it again, slightly lower, but this time, he was disturbed.

Cas should have remembered Dean.

Dean had been so quiet, Cas hadn't even known he was there. At least, not until Dean's hand knocked the blade right out of his own.

Cas took a sharp intake of breath and snapped to face Dean on his left. 

He looked thunderous,

"Castiel," he began, barely more than a low growl. " _Why_ did you just- just..." At the terrifying look he'd just given Cas, it shocked him that Dean couldn't even say the words. 

However, the use of his full, first name, which Dean had never  _actually_ used, caused a flicker of hurt to flash across his face, as well as panic. _  
_

"Dean - I... I'm not-" he didn't even know what he intended to say, but his eyes pleaded with Dean to stop.

Thankfully, Dean seemed to drop the pretence of interrogation, albeit temporarily, and his expression softened into one more sensitive.

There was no sign of disappointment in his eyes.

"Go sit down. I'll be over in a minute." Cas obeyed with only the slightest hesitation. On his way in, he turned the lamp by the bed on.

When Dean emerged from the bathroom, he held few cotton buds and some anti-septic cream, that he'd obviously found in the corner of the cabinet. The Winchester sat on the bed next to him in silence, but gestured for Castiel's arm.

Cas's eyes flashed with panic, but Dean's careful gaze calmed him.

"I need to have a look, Cas. Please." 

With tears welling up in his eyes, he slowly raised his left arm, and Dean held it in a soft, comforting grip. He saw that Dean was preparing himself mentally for pushing back the sleeve, not knowing the mutilations that lay beneath the fabric.

When Dean finally could roll back the sleeve, he gulped nervously, eyes flicking to Castiel's, whose eyes were blurred with tears

"Cas..." Dean sighed in a low voice. Neither of them said anything more. 

Though Castiel knew he was being gentle, he couldn't help but release a low hiss of pain when the anti septic touched the cut. Dean grimaced.

"Sorry." 

It took Dean a few moments for to him to be satisfied with cleaning the cuts on his arm, at least, the ones he  _could_ tend to. 

"Why?" came a saddened whisper from Dean's usually bright features. Cas just sighed and shook his head.

"It is not of import."  The other boy's eyes flared in rage, and Castiel flinched slightly.

"Not of  _import?_  Castiel, something is driving you to- to  _hurt_ yourself, and you're trying to tell me 'It is not of import'?  _Damnit, Cas!_ " he was whisper yelling, as loud as he could without risking waking the rest of the home. Cas noticed the use of his full name once again. _  
_

However, when he once again saw Cas's distraught features, and, thankfully. stopped pressing that particular question. However, the interrogation was far from over.

"How long?" This was a question that Cas could answer, and he relaxed slightly, though he was still hesitant to reply.

"A-about a year." Dean turned away then.

"Why didn't you tell someone?"

"Who do I have to tell, Dean? Before I met you, I was content with being unnoticed." Cas argued, feeble to his own ears.

"Your brothers? I don't know! This kind of crap  _matters,_ Cas."

"Don't tell them." At Dean's confused glance, he clarified, "My brothers. You can't tell them." It was the only defiance he could manage, and Dean seemed to think it was reasonable, and gave a nod that resembled more of a jerk.

Both were silent for a few minutes, ragged, distressed breaths interrupting the silence. Dean finally broke the tension.

"Just- just promise me," Cas knew what he was going to say, and was about to interrupt, and explain how he  _couldn't_ just  _stop_ , but Dean rambled on. "Promise me, if you do it again, you will clean it up."

Cas was taken aback. He had expected him to insist on not doing it again, tell his brothers, so they'd help him. Not...  _this._  

"Why do you care?" the slightly younger boy murmured, barely audible and soft.

"Because I'm your best friend, dumb ass." There was a strained tone in Dean's voice that Cas recognised as trying to smile. He gave a weak one of his own.

"Promise me, Cas. And tell me, if you do. Please."

Cas risked a peek at Dean, who had small tears in his eyes that he had obviously been trying to repress.

"I promise."

He meant it.

They fell asleep closer than they had been before, facing one another, with Dean's hands loosely gripped around Cas's forearms.

A silent promise of his own.


	13. Chapter 13

**Dean Winchester**

It was Dean who woke up first. Dragging his eyelids open to a dreary, grey light seeping through the windows.

Stifling  a yawn, he glanced to Castiel, who was still very much asleep. However, Dean had to force himself not to jolt away, as he realised how close they really were.

Dean remembered falling asleep a decent, respectable distance away, admittedly holding Cas's arms, but obviously one of them had rolled forwards.

Cas's head now rested a few centimeters away from Dean's chest, burrowed towards his own. Dean's eyes trailed down the rest of the bed, and noticed how Cas had curled up, legs folded up. Cas's arms were still held firmly in Dean's grip.

Dean had to admit: Cas looked pretty cute like this. 

*   *   *

He managed to sit up carefully, without disturbing Cas. As he did so, he caught sight of Cas's arms once again, and felt a paing of curiosity, but also sorrow.

Dean wanted to get a look at them, properly, where he could see. Last night, light was limited, and he could only see outlines of cuts. So, gingerly, he reached over, and gently took his wrists.

After he pulled up the sleeve, he gasped again, not unlike the night before, and squeezed his eyes shut. Bravely, after a moment, he opened them again, and had a long look at his arm.

There were about 5 fresher cuts, and almost all of the other's had started to, or almost finished healing. What did concern him the most, however, was the presence of so many scars. White, thick and some jagged, they were all over both Cas's forearms. 

Tenderly, he let his fingers traipse over them lightly, wishing he could understand why Cas did this.

"Why do my scars fascinate you?" Dean jumped at the sound of Cas's morning voice, shocked that he had not heard nor felt him stir.

"I... I just still don't understand how you could do this, Cas." he invited, hoping Cas would reply. Instead, Cas just sighed, and sat up.

"I have my own questions for you, Dean." This threw Dean completely off guard. Like what? Cas elaborated:

"Why did you react like that? You could have been calmer, or you could have been extremely disappointed. I'm glad it was not the latter, but... You were  _angry_."

Dean sighed. Of course  _this_ would come up. He'd hoped, perhaps  _needed_ , to have a new kind of life, to not dwell on past experiences. However much he wanted to lie his way through the questions Cas had for him, he knew he couldn't. Last night, Cas shared a lot with him, and maybe it was fair for Dean to do the same.

"I, um, used to...  _Cut._ " Dean said the words with such malice and anger, that he felt Cas recoil, though a quick glance told him that Cas didn't seem to be offended.

"Why? If, um, it's okay to ask..." he trailed off, nervous suddenly. He could tell that Cas was confused with the idea of Dean doing that,

"'S'okay. It was kind of my dad, kind of this ex of mine." Cas just looked at him expectantly, though not too stern that Dean would feel cornered by him.

"Long story. You don't wanna know, anyway. Not really."

"I do want to know, Dean. You've extended me the same courtesy." Cas sounded so sincere, that Dean couldn't help but want to spill his guts.

"Lisa, her name was. She was... She was gorgeous, perfect, and the best thing that happened to me. At the time." Dean felt Cas shuffle closer, and felt a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"What happened to her?" Cas's voice was quiet, but sure.

Dean realised how much of a 'Chick flick' moment this was, but genuinely didn't seem to care. Cas was a good listener, it seemed.

"We were together for a few months. My dad didn't notice anything about me, or Sammy. He was always drunk, or out drinking. He didn't care.

"Everything was great with me and Lisa, for almost the entire time. I was gonna tell her I loved her." Dean took a ragged breath. "Looking back, I realise that I didn't even mean it. She was important to me, yeah, but... There was something...  _Missing._   _  
_

"Anyway, I was going to say it the next day, then John came home, and started yellin' at me. Told me I was wasting my time with some chick, and I was  _supposed_ to be watching Sammy, like Sammy was all he cared about. He never cared about either of us,  _Bobby_ practically raised us, not that son of a bitch.

"He said we were leaving. The next week, we were going to leave, and I wasn't prepared for that. I told him to fuck off, that I was actually  _happy._ I was surprised that I could still walk after the beating he gave me."

After hearing a sharp intake of breath from Castiel, Dean realised he'd never told him about John's abusive tendencies. Dean continued his story.

"I called her, told her I loved her. She said she loved me back, and she was glad to have me. I didn't tell her I was leaving."

"So, you left, and didn't tell her?" Cas guessed, tone even. He was making sure he wasn't giving Dean the impression he was judging. He was grateful for that.

"Not quite." Dean laughed an empty, humourless laugh. "Coupl'a days later, before we left, she was going to the store with her parents. Drunk driver hit them head on." Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Cas give him a look of sympathy.

"She didn't die, thank god. But... She took a hard blow to the head. Doctors said she'd have amnesia for most of her life, unless the memories were brought back." Cas lay his hand on Dean's shoulder once again, and this time, he leaned into the touch.

"She didn't remember anything from the past few months, and even her parents were upset to hear that. They'd taken a shining to me, hoped I'd be good for her. It broke their hearts almost as much as it did mine.

"It was better that way, I decided. I was upset, crying at the hospital, but when they let me in to see her, I just said, 'I'm the guy who called an ambulance. I hope you get better soon,' and left! It was all I could do."

"I understand, Dean."

"After that... I, uh, cut a few times, but I felt it was wrong, y'know? Well, I doubt it but... Sorry, I..." Cas simply nodded, a sad smile coating his face.

"'S'why I was angry, I thought... Someone was making you  _want_ to hurt yourself, and I don't know why, but I wanna kill the son of a bitch who is."

"No one is  _making_ me do this. I just..." Dean knew he was lying; Cas couldn't meet his eyes.

He let it slide.

"Okay, Cas."

*   *   *

"Okay! Now that that Chick Flick moment is over, let's go eat." Dean announced, after the pair had changed clothes. Cas still wore a long sleeved shirt to hide the scars, but Dean understood it was to prevent his brothers from finding out.

It still made him upset that he had to hide them at all.

"Of course." came the steady voice of Cas.

As  it turned out, Cas almost always cooked breakfast on weekends (which Dean thought was unfair considering that he cooked often in the week, it seemed). A proper, greasy breakfast he'd had before in the Roadhouse.

It striked him as odd, seeing as he expected Cas to be a health nut like his little brother, but obviously not. Dean was at least grateful for that.

The food was delicious (as Cas's cooking usually was), and Dean ate it in less than a few minutes, much to the amusement of Gabriel and Balthazar.

"What?" he mumbled, muffled by the food in his mouth. The siblings grinned even more.

"You really like Cas's cooking." answered Gabriel It was not a question; it was a fact, and Dean felt himself redden.

"Well, yeah! Don't you guys?"

"Well, of course, Dean, but you practically shove it down in your haste to eat. It's like you've barely seen a proper meal in years!" Balthazar replied, obviously joking, but it struck a nerve. Dean's cheery demeanour immediately dropped, and something darker replaced it.

"No,  _actually,_ I haven't. Not since before I came to Sioux Falls." Dean could hear the anger in his own voice, but did not back down, standing his ground.

Balthazar's face fell in shock, and both of the other Novaks glared at him, though Gabe was as shocked as Balth.

"Sorry, Dean." Dean relaxed, and felt the guilt flow in.

"No, I'm sorry, I..." he trailed off, but Balth seemed to understand.

The subject quickly changed.

"What time is it? We're going to the Roadhouse at noon, remember?" Gabriel offered.

"Uh - just after 10." Castiel said. At that, he spun around to Dean and announced, a twinkle in his eyes,

"We appear to have enough time to watch another episode of  _Sherlock._ Do you mind?" Dean just laughed, his guilt lightening.

"Man, I can't believe how much you like that show! You're obsessed! Almost as much as me." Dean stuck his tongue out, and winked, earning a laugh from Gabriel. "Nah, I don't mind."

Cas smiled, and set off into the living room to set up. Dean didn't miss the knowing smirk that Gabriel and Balthazar had on their faces. He frowned.

"What?"

"Nothing." replied the brothers in unison; Dean suddenly felt a gush of sympathy for everyone who was freaked out when he and Sam did the same thing, he saw it now.

"Friggin' douchebags," Dean muttered walking into the living room.

*   *   *

"Wait  _what?"_ Cas protested, moments into the next episode. "That's slightly anti-climactic!" Dean chuckled.

"I don't know... Maybe it raises tension?"

"Whatever." mumbled Cas, and Dean laughed again.

*   *   *

Cas didn't even need to say anything before Dean was laughing again; his expression said it all after seeing the Woman.

Gabriel and Balthazar, watching discreetly from the sides, gave each other yet another knowing look. After all, how many people know what their friend will say, just from their expression, after barely a week of knowing them?

*   *   * 

"That was a rather enjoyable episode." 

"Course it was, they all are." Cas smiled, and nodded in agreement. Cas's eyes met Dean's, and for a few seconds the were locked together, neither wanting to break the spell.

Unfortunately, it was broken anyway, interrupted by a meddling brother by the name of Balthazar.

"Well boys, I'd love to stay and watch you erotically stare into each others eyes, I must dash. Don't miss me too much will you?"

Even Cas gave him a bitchface at that, whereas Dean just spluttered very unconvincingly.

" _Anyway,_ are we going to the Roadhouse? We have half an hour..." Cas shrugged, and Gabriel, who had apparently walked in after Balth, made a non commital noise.

"I guess we could." Gabe offered. "We should go get Sasquatch first though." Cas rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I still don't understand why you call him as such." Gabriel rolled his eyes then.

_Must run in the family,_ Dean quipped in his head, a smirk on his lips.

"C'mon, let's go, douchewads." Gabe laughed, and Cas's eyes knit in confusion, but didn't say anything.

The trio left moments later, on their way to Sioux Falls.

*   *   *

"Dean, have you seen my phone?" Sammy asked from upstairs. Dean glanced around and found it, on the bookshelf.

"Yeah, you left it on the-" Dean suddenly stopped, looking at the book it was on top of.

"Dean?" his brother asked quietly, from behind him.

"Pre-Law..." Sam paled.

"Uh, yeah, I uh, found it on one of Bobby's shelves, and I thought..."

Dean smiled at his little brother.

"Sammy wants to be a big, important lawyer? Awesome!" Immediately, Sam relaxed.

"It seems like a good option, yeah." Dean nodded at that, glancing at his watch.

"C'mon then, bitch, we gotta hurry if we're gonna get there in time!"

Sam picked up his phone, and the two went outside to meet Cas and Gabe.

*   *   *

"Hi Ellen!" beamed Dean, after entering the Roadhouse. She groaned, but it was light hearted and full of humour, that Sam and Dean laughed at.

"Jo, Charlie, Kevin and Ash'll be here soon. Oh, Charlie said she's bringing her girlfriend, if that's okay?" 

"Yeah, it's cool." replied Dean.

"I bet it's Gilda. I liked her, too, she's nice." Sam offered, and Gabe and Ellen both laughed.

That was when Ellen noticed Gabe and Cas. Her eyes softened, and she looked surprised.

"Castiel? Gabriel? I haven't seen you boys in  _years!_ "

The Novaks gave her a big smile.

"It's lovely to see you again Ellen." Cas said, formal as ever. Ellen laughed.

"Always were so polite, kid." she reached over and ruffled his hair, chuckling again when Castiel looked disoriented for a moment. Hearing Gabriel snigger, Ellen did the same to him, watching as he looked regretful.

"Forgot you do that." he grumbled, but it was light hearted, and didn't sound that irritated.

"Tell you what, I'll get you guys a drink, and you sit down over there." Cas nodded graciously, and the four said their thanks to Ellen, making their way over to the booth.

It wasn't long after their drinks had arrived before their friends came in, too. 

Jo's head was thrown back in a laugh, and Charlie had her arm around another girl delicate facial features. Ash and Kevin were a few steps behind, seemingly immersed in a conversation most likely about computers.

"Guys! Over here!" called Dean. They quickly went over, and sat at the spacious booth. 

_Thank god Ellen thought to get these big ones,_ Dean couldn't help but think.

"Hey guys, you, uh, know Gilda?" Charlie asked. The original four nodded, and Sam smiled.

"You kids want anything to drink?" Ellen asked, who had come over to serve them. Everyone ordered their respective drinks, and she returned moments later with them. By then, everyone had begun talking amongst themselves.

Every few moments, Dean's eyes would drift over to where Castiel sat, sandwiched between Jo and Sam.

He had  _thought_ no one noticed him, but a sharp jab in the ribs to his left and an amused smile from Gabriel told him he wasn't being very discreet. He'd just narrowed his eyes and jabbed him back.

*   *   *

"Clarence?" came a nasally yet not unpleasant drawl from somewhere on the other side of the booth. It came from a small girl with dark brown hair, and matching eyes.

Everyone looked confused and disoriented for a moment, losing track of their conversations at the interruption. Dean opened his mouth, about to insist that nobody there was named 'Clarence', but was cut off almost immediately.

"Meg?" Everyone whipped their heads round to face Castiel, who seemed to know the girl.

The girl laughed at the recognition.

"Yeah, here I was thinkin' you forgot about me, Clarence." Cas's eyebrows knitted yet again in confusion, something that, once more, distracted Dean.

"I still have no idea why you insist on calling me that."  _Meg_ rolled her eyes.

"Would it kill you to watch some TV, kid?"

The table was utterly confused at the exchange. Even Gabriel seemed shocked, obviously not knowing who she was despite being Cas's brother. He spoke first.

"Okay, who the hell are you?"

"Right, introductions. Hi I'm Meg, I'm a Demon." She winked at Cas, who flushed only slightly. Ash protested next.

"Wait,  _Demon?_ Like, Alastair's group of fuck ups?" Meg's eyes narrowed at that.

"Whatever floats your boat, princess. I'd like to think of myself as more of someone who plays for both sides, and tries not to get in too much trouble." She paused. "Doesn't work all that well."

The group let out a begrudging laugh. However, Dean was still confused.

"But... How do you know Cas?"

"Ooh, nickname from your boyfriend? How cute." She didn't answer the question.

"Okay,  _not_ his boyfriend, and seriously, how-" Dean was cut off by Castiel announcing, _  
_

"She's my ex girlfriend."

The silence was so awkward, you could have heard a pin drop.


	14. Chapter 14

**Castiel Novak**

Silence was deafening. Castiel had never been too fond of silence, it was too unpredictable.

So, at this silence, he glanced nervously around the table, hoping to decipher the mostly blank expressions on their faces.

"Ex.... Girlfriend?" Sam asked, weakly, at last. Meg laughed at him, though it was not harsh.  

"Yeah,  _ex_. I take it they know about you, Clarence?" Cas simply nodded, eyes focused downwards.

"Wait, so... You knew he was gay?" asked none other than Dean. His tone was sharp, obviously threatening her to make fun of his sexuality. Meg just rolled her eyes.

"Let's just say I was his trial period." she drawled, winking. "He musta known he wouldn't get someone like me again, so now he bats for the other team." _  
_

The group smiled weakly at that, whereas Dean just glared at her. Meg suddenly seemed to remember what she had come over to say, because her hand was suddenly on Cas's arm.

"Say, Clarence, d'you think we could have a little chat? Y'know. in private..." Her tone was casual but her words were far less comforting. Immediately, Cas knew the subject: Alastair.

"Of course." he replied, gravely. The pair walked away together, to the other side of the room, where nobody was sat. Cas felt eyes boring into their backs, so he turned around and caught Dean whipping his head away from Meg, evidence of a glare still left on his face.

"Castiel, Alastair is  _seriously_ pissed with you. I don't even understand why! Suddenly, it's... Are you even listening to me, Clarence?" she asked, angry. True, Cas was still looking at Dean, who had not yet turned back.

"Hmm? Oh... Yes." Meg rolled her eyes again.

"Alastair is  _very_  pissed off with you. If you don't watch your back..." she trailed off, allowing the unspoken warning to linger in the air.

"What did I do?" Cas whispered, crushed. He genuinely didn't know what he'd done this time.

Meg sighed, sympathetic.

"He... Alastair seems to think you have a thing for Winchester." Suddenly, Cas jolted, staring at her with wide eyes.

"I- I don't- What?" he spluttered, entirely unconvincing. Meg gasped in surprise.

"You do, don't you Clarence? Well that's fuckin' great." She brought up her hands to rub her face, tired already. "He liked Dean, before he even met him, he'd seen him round school. He already knows  _a lot_ about the kid, and his little brother."

Cas frowned. "I don't understand... How does that affect me?"

"He's been wanting to get at you again for a year and a half, Clarence. Alastair's got lotsa shit on you, but nothing big enough to actually threaten you with. Dean over there... He's Alastair's big break."

"No. Not Dean, I can't ruin someone else's life like this!"

"You've got no choice any more. You fucked Alastair up majorly last time. He's not going to make that mistake again, you hear me Clarence?"

"I hear you." Meg softened, which was rare.

"Promise me you'll watch your back?" When Cas nodded, she added, "And I'm sorry he keeps using your mother as ammo. It's... Uncalled for. It's the anniversary soon isn't it? Don't let him use it against you." 

With that, she turned and trotted off, her arrogant and impolite nature replacing the temporary sensitivity she had adopted. Cas took a few moments to regain his composure, before returning to the table.

He noticed that Sam had occupied himself by talking to a pretty blonde girl, who had obviously walked in moments ago. Sam seemed rather flushed, and was standing awkwardly, but the girl just laughed, also slightly blushing.

"Oh, Cas, uh, this is Jess. She's in my Science class." explained Sam. Cas nodded, and returned to the booth, seeing the awkward eye shifts towards each other when they believed the other wasn't watching. That was when Castiel noticed that Dean hadn't been looking right at him.

In fact, he seemed to be looking anywhere  _but_ Cas. Cas stared at the table, cheeks burning, and scolding himself internally.

_Why does it matter whether or not Dean is looking at you?_

_Of course it matters. You know, perhaps he is having second thoughts about being your friend. He knows about your disgusting little habit, it must finally be sinking in. He's realising how useless you are, Castiel._

The voice in his mind had gone from his own, to that of Raphael, the one person who had said similar words before. Outwardly, without realising it, he flinched rather noticeably. Dean suddenly turned to face him, worry etched onto his handsome features.

 _Of course that got his attention._  

"Cas? You okay?"

"Yes, fine." Dean looked skeptic, and was about to press the issue, before glancing at Cas's sleeve. It was still covering his arm, thankfully, but it seemingly reminded Dean that some things you don't press. Some things you wait for.

Dean pressed his lips together and nodded jerkily, turning away.

*   *   *

"Whoop, go Sammy!" exclaimed Dean, cheery only moments later. Sam turned bright red and gave Dean a Bitchface.

"C'mon, it's a  _movie,_ Dean, not that big of a deal!"

"But you're going with  _Jess!"_ Dean teased, and Sam flushed even more.

"Dean, I swear to god-" Ellen intervened, tutting.

"Boys," she began, disapproving. "Calm down. Dean, stop teasing your brother." He just rolled his eyes. Ellen went off to the kitchen.

"So, Samantha... Whatcha gonna watch with your girlfriend?" Dean mocked, beginning again now his guardian was out of earshot. Jo, Ash, Charlie and Gilda laughed at Sam's irritated expression.

Gabriel remained expressionless. Cas rolled his eyes, but a small smirk remained.

"You shouldn't tease your brother, you know. Brothers have a way of getting you back." Cas interjected, which was met with a satisfactory grin from Sam, and a fake betrayed look from Dean.

"Cas, I'm  _shocked_ you'd take my brother's side! I thought you were my best friend, man." Dean winked, conveying that he was joking.

"Of course, Dean." retorted Cas. However, Ash seemed to want to talk more about devilish little brothers.

"So, I'm assuming there's a story behind that argument?" Ash asked, amused. Gabriel about jumped in his seat in amusement, whereas Cas slumped, (light-heartedly of course) and groaned.

"C'mon Cassie, tell them what you did to piss me off." the younger Novak insisted.

"I  _may_ have confiscated his 'Candy supply'." with air quotes. At that, the group snorted.

"Hey! What do you mean by 'Candy'?" Gabe argued. Again, Castiel rolled his eyes.

"I mean, that that excuse for food is diabetes on a  _stick_ , Gabriel!" He had the decency to pretend to look offended. A quick glance at Sam and Dean told Cas that they were both laughing. Eager for new ideas, Sam questioned Gabe, _  
_

"How'd you get him back?" Gabe wiggled his eyebrows and winked.

"Well, call me cliché, but I switched the sugar and the salt." Cas scoffed at that.

"Tell them what else you did,  _dear brother_." The words were spoken with more fake anger. Gabriel grinned widely.

"I poured sugar over his bed." More intense laughter erupted. Charlie was doubled over, and Jo's head was thrown back. Gilda was giggling, and Ash honestly looked a little drunk.

"It isn't funny, for the next six days I was forced to reside on Gabriel's floor.  As it turns out, ant infestations aren't all that pleasant." Cas wrinkled his nose. "And Balth and Rafi were quite surprised at the odd taste of cake."

By then, everybody was howling with laughter. Hell, they were  _crying_  with laughter. Gabriel was smug, and Cas just looked rather begrudgingly amused.

"So- you- you-" Gilda tried to say, but set off on giggles again.

Eventually, Sam managed to squeeze out,

"Dude, that is so much worse than the time I glued your hand to your soda!" After several odd looks, Dean elaborated.

"Me 'n Sammy were having a prank war. I think I won that."

"Did not!"

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

*   *   *

Days.  _Days_ pass and Cas hears nothing from Alastair.

School had been suspiciously quiet, with no more than a few odd looks in the direction of Dean and Cas from people in their classes. 

Except that Alastair, in their French lesson, had had a sneer etched onto his face. His intent seemed to be to unnerve Cas more than anything.

It was working.

Castiel didn't tell Dean his concerns.

Maybe he should have.

*   *   *

 The letter was waiting for him when he got home. Sitting, mocking him with crimson letters and cursive writing. Cas scooped the envelope up, and dashed off to his room.

After a few moments hesitation, he opened it shakily. He read.

_Dear Castiel,_

_I see that you seem to be taking my previous threat seriously. Good. I expressed how I did not want to have you uncooperative, seeing as it was useless last time._

_Of course, there is reason behind this letter._

_Do you remember sweet Anna? She would have had such lovely eyes by now, long, tangling brown hair. Her birthday is soon, isn't it? Or, should I more appropriately say, 'Recognition' day. That seems to be a more accurate term, don't you think? Twelve, she would have been._

_I wonder whose fault it is she never got to see it._

_Do not get me wrong, Castiel, I did not write with the mere intention of taunting you. I am here to warn you, once again._

_What an odd history those Winchesters have, don't you agree? Irresponsible father, rather rebellious young boy. And his perfect soldier boy, Dean._

_Ah, but I digress. You have taken me seriously so far. Do not burn this bridge of trust we have built._

_Last time I threatened you with family. I shall not be so blunt this time._

_Dean and Sam Winchester will stay safe as long as you do what I say._

_Yours,_

_Alastair._

_*   *   *_

Yet again, he trembled as he felt the blade pierce him.

*   *   *

"D-Dean?" Cas's voice was low, shaky, trying not to break too much.

"Cas?" His friend immediately sounded threatening, and worried for his best friend. He must have heard the unreleased emotions in Cas's voice. "What happened? What's wrong? Did someone-" Cas cut him off.

"Y-you told me to tell you if I ever..." Cas trailed off. Thankfully, Dean seemed to understand what Cas was trying to say. Dean exhaled slightly, whether it was out of relief or worry, Cas didn't know.

"I'm coming over." Cas began to protest, but was shot down. "Don't argue, Cas. I want to make sure you're okay."

"Okay," Cas breathed.

He hung up.

*   *   *

Only moments later, there was an insistent tapping on the door, that Balthazar unfortunately reached first.

"Where's Cas?" Dean demanded, immediately after seeing it wasn't Cas who had opened the door. Balthazar leaned arrogantly to the side of the door, and replied,

"You mean the one in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you?"

Dean's face registered shock at first, before he shook it off. Cas's own face was bright and flushed, he could feel the heat in his cheeks

"Whatever, where is he?" Cas intervened then, scolding his brother.

"Balthazar, there's no need to be so rude." The blonde boy simply rolled his eyes, and sauntered off, bored now that he could no longer torment Dean. Dean's attention focused solely on Castiel.

"What happened?" Cas sighed, and journeyed upstairs, into his room again. Light footsteps behind him told Cas that his friend was following.

Avoiding the question as much as possible, he replied,

"Dean, I won't be able to just  _stop_ , I know perfectly well it's a process."

"You're making it sound like a goddamn addiction."

"Is that not what it is? An unhealthy habit that you think is a danger to my well-being?" Cas fumed, though both boy's voices remained steady and low, so nobody overheard them. Dean recoiled at his words.

"Cas, you know that I  _never_ meant anything like that. I'm just asking  _why_ you feel this way." in a much more hushed tone, he added, "I don't want to lose you like everyone else."

Cas softened, recognising the raw emotion and pain in Dean's voice. For a while, neither spoke.

"Alastair." Cas finally spoke, allowing the word to cut through the silence. Dean's head whipped to face him, seething.

"Son of a bitch! Has he threatened you?" Cas merely shook his head, too exhausted to do much else.

Dean's hand went to rub his face, a nervous habit he had which meant that he didn't know what to say,

"If he does... Let me know?" Cas nodded, though he knew it was a promise he most certainly wouldn't keep.

"Now, let me see your arm." Dutifully, Cas slowly offered his only slightly bleeding arm, and Dean gently lifted up the sleeve.

If he was affected by the damage, he did not show it. He didn't even need to calm his breathing. Dean was already calm, and tending to the wound.

Castiel was lucky to have a friend like Dean.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Extreme spoilers for The Reichenbach Fall, Sherlock. The scene is done from memory so will be slightly inaccurate, as I have not memorised almost the whole scene as a friend of mine has :D Cas is also kinda OOC but... Oh well.

**Dean Winchester**

All Dean had on his mind was how he was going to get to Alastair.

The bastard had threatened his best friend! And for God knows how long, too. Castiel didn't exactly seem like the sharing type, either, so he couldn't exactly ask him directly.

Asking Gabriel or Balthazar was out of the question, too, as Cas was hell-bent on not letting them find out about Cas's personal problems.

It pained Dean to realise that Castiel simply considered himself no more than a mere burden. Dean made a silent promise to find out what the hell was going on here.

*   *   *

The next day, a Saturday, Dean ventured over to the Novak's house again, and apparently he wasn't unexpected.

"God, you can't keep 'em away, Cassie." smirked Gabriel. Dean rolled his eyes, and Cas did the same.

"Just let him in, Gabriel." Immediately Gabriel took to muttering, 'Yeah, I'll let your damn boyfriend in." However, he said, loud enough for his brother to hear,

"Don't get your panties in a knot, bro, geez." With that, Gabriel was left to his own devices.

For a moment, the pair stood awkwardly, before Dean finally broke the silence by tentatively asking,

"You okay?" 

" _Fine,_ Dean, like I told you yesterday." He raised his hands in mock surrender.

"Okay, okay!" Again, an awkward silence settled over the two.

"Was there a reason that you came over, Dean? I assured you yesterday I was fine," Castiel offered, managing to gather the courage to speak. Dean coughed.

"I may have wanted to watch Sherlock." mumbled Dean, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. However, what Cas didn't know, was that he'd just barely resisted the urge to say 'with you'. At that, Cas grinned.

"I agree. We may have a slight obsession, you know..." The last part was added as no more than an afterthought, but Dean laughed all the same.

"Ooh, I have an idea!" At the overly excited tone in Dean's voice, Cas turned to look at him suspiciously, through narrowed eyes.

"What?" he asked, slowly. Dean's grin grew impossibly wider.

"When we finish watching Sherlock, we can watch Star Trek!" Cas looked appalled. 

"I should never have agreed to watching anything with you..." Cas was, unfortunately, drowned out by Dean's incessant rambling.

"All of them, even the new ones, even though they won't compare to the older versions. But Benedict Cumberbatch is in the new film, so that's a plus."

"Dean."

"Oh! We could watch Star Wars too, that would be fun-"

" _Dean_." Suddenly, Dean seemed to realise he was rambling, and shut off immediately, with a sheepish grin and flushing red. Cas was barely repressing laughter.

"What?"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to spend more time with me." A sly smirk sat on Cas's lips and Dean actually gaped for a few seconds, before stuttering,

"Wha-No!" Before Cas could so much as chuckle, a loud yell from upstairs cut through Dean's embarrassment with a well timed innuendo.

" _OH HE SO IS, CASSIE!"_ The older Novak was suddenly making his way up the stairs, snarling,

"GABRIEL, I SWEAR-" 

Dean couldn't have stopped laughing if his life depended on it.

*   *   *

"Dealt with little bro, then?" Dean asked, amused when Cas returned, slightly red in the face.

"Don't even try me." Dean laughed a booming laugh. Even Cas had to smile at that.

"I suppose we'll be watching Sherlock now?" asked Cas, already moving to turn on the TV. Dean nodded his assent.

They settled  _much_ closer than they had before, knees an shoulders bumping one another when they moved in a way that couldn't be comfortable for either of them. But they both stayed where they were, watching the TV with rapt interest. 

Well,  _Cas_ was watching with a rapt interest; Dean was trying his hardest not to laugh.

"It's really a bad idea to break into a high security military base, even if he is pretending to be Mycroft..." Cas rambled off for a moment, that Dean only half listened to. Instead he smiled warmly, and felt his stomach tug nervously just looking at the handsome boy.

They went back to watching the show.

*   *   *

"Lestrade's here? Odd coincidence..."

"Yes, it is."

*   *   *

Cas was gobsmacked by the end of the episode.

"I can't believe Sherlock thought he'd drugged John!"

"It's not the worst he'll do to John..." Dean smirked at his ominous warning. Cas snapped to face Dean.

"What are you talking about? What do you mean by that?" he asked, desperately. Dean simply shook his head, refusing to asnwer.

"Nope. Put the next one on and find out!"

"You make it sound like an action thriller movie." Cas grumbled, doing as Dean suggested. Dean remembered then, that he had to be at the Roadhouse for a shift to help Ellen out, in about 2 hours.

"Sorry, man, after this one, I have to go to the Roadhouse. All the more time to leave you in a bit of suspense, eh?" Dean chuckled, whereas Cas just tilted his head, and knitted his eyebrows together, eyes squinting.

"I don't-"

The start of the final episode of Season 2 interrupted him. They watched.

*   *   *

Cas was full of jumps and gasps, eyes widening in surprise and shock at all the right moments. Dean was enthralled with the way Cas's face would contort with confusion every few moments, before realisation would overtake him.

Frankly, Dean was kinda creeping himself out. Y'know, with all this definitely platonic staring.

And then the episode was reaching it's end.

**_"Turn around and walk back the way you came."_ **

"What's he doing?" Cas asked, suspicious.

_**"No, I'm coming in."** _

_**"Just... Do as I ask.** _ **Please."**

"I don't-" Dean shushed him. He sat in silence for a few more lines until,

_**"An apology. It's all true."** _

_**"What?"** _

_**"Everything they said about me. I invented Moriaty."** _

Cas was in denial. "No, no he  _didn't,_ Moriarty was doing it deliberately, can't anyone see that?" They'd missed another few lines.

_**"I'm a fake. I want you to tell Lestrade, to tell Mrs. Hudson and Molly, to anyone who will listen, that I created Moriarty for my own purposes."** _

Cas shook his head vehemently, pale.

_**"Okay, shut up, Sherlock. Shut up. The first time we met- the first time we met, you knew all about my sister, right?"** _

_**"Nobody could be that clever."** _

_**"You** _ **_could._ "**

Frankly, Dean felt like he was going to cry, as he actually had first watching the scene. So, of course, he felt a pang of empathy at Cas's tear filled eyes.

_**"I researched you. Before we met, I discovered everything I could to impress you. It's a trick. it;s just a magic trick."** _

_**"No, alright! Stop it**   **now."**_

Cas had pulled his knees up to his chest. "No!"

_**"No, stay exactly where you are, don't move!"** _

_**"Alright."** _

_**"Keep your eyes fixed on me. Please, will you do this for me?"** _

_**"Do what?"** _

_**"This phone call... It... It's my note."**  _

Cas gasped, the sobs coming quietly, tears dripping down his cheeks. Dean had to subtly wipe away his own silently falling ones. Cas realised was Sherlock was doing.

It didn't make it easier.

_**"That's what people do, don't they? Leave a note..?"** _

_**"Leave a note when?"** _

_**"Goodbye, John."** _

_**"No! Don't-"** _

**Sherlock had hung up, silent tears slithering down his face, and threw his phone down. With a last, shuddering breath, he spread his arms as a bird may spread his wings.**

**Sherlock did not fly.**

**He fell.**

**John's cry rang out loud and clear.**   _ **"SHERLOCK!"**_ **  
**

And that was too much for Castiel. He turned his face after seeing Sherlock fall forward. Except that Cas's face now leaned onto Dean's shoulder. Surprised, Dean let him linger there for a second, before tentatively lifting his arm to console his friend.

He rubbed at his shoulder as Cas rocked slightly with small sobs.

Cas didn't turn back until John stood alone at Sherlock's grave, though Dean knew he did it only because he felt he had to. There was a nice wet patch on Dean's shirt from Cas's tears, and Dean's own face was also tear stained.

Almost all through John's speech, Cas remained stoic and still, trying not to cry. However, even Dean had to admit that although he held out well, he started again when the speech was almost over.

_**"I was so alone, and I owe you so much. Please there's just one more thing. One more thing. One more miracle, Sherlock, for me. Don't... Be... Dead. Would you do that, just for me? Just stop it, stop all this..."** _

Both the boys managed to keep the tears to a minimum this time, as John straightened up, and marched away. Exactly like a soldier would; professional, not bound by emotion.

Cas got ready to shut off the TV, but Dean stopped him, a smirk on his lips. Cas looked confused for a second, before returning to the screen.

As the camera panned out, the back of a man was seen lingering.

The camera suddenly switched, and Cas gasped, eyes going wide, and a tiny screech let out of his mouth.

Sherlock was there, very much alive.

Credits roll.

*   *   *

"YOU PLANNED THIS DELIBERATELY DIDN'T YOU?" Cas yelled to Dean who was currently howling with laughter

"No- I - Maybe I did!" Dean taunted, as Cas proceeded to pelt cushions at him.

"HOW? YOU CAN'T JUMP OFF A BUILDING, AND  _SURVIVE_ , IT'S A PHYSICAL IMPROBABILITY!"

"I KNOW! That's why I wanted to watch the next Season."

"I'm putting on, I don't care."

"Nope. I'm going to the Roadhouse. I'll be back to watch later." He grinned widely like a little shit to taunt Cas.

"Not fair." grumbled Cas.

"Not fair? Try waiting for  _two damn years!"_  Dean insisted. "That's why I wanted to watch it in the first place."

"ASSBUTT!"

"Assbutt, Cas? Really?"

"I don't know any better insults," Cas muttered under his breath, and Dean laughed again.

"Later, Cas."

*   *   *

"Hey, Ellen, sorry, I was at-" Dean began, hurrying through the doors.

"At Cas's? Yeah, I know kid. Gabriel's been texting Sammy, complaining about the commotion you two were makin'." Dean blushed bright red at the implications, though he knew he'd done nothing of the sort.

"We were watching Sherlock. The finale of season 2." Ellen grinned, and shook her head.

"Had to leave him high and dry like that, Dean?" his mother figure announced, another suggestive grin on her face.

" _Seriously,_ what is it with everyone and goddamn innuendos today?" muttered Dean, as he walked towards the kitchen for his two hour long shift.

Dean didn't hear Ellen mumble, " _Damn, that kid is in way over his head."_ If he had, he probably wouldn't have been able to deny it.

*   *   *

Dean had 5 minutes left to go before he could go back to Cas's

Then  _that_  asshole walked in. _  
_

Alastair strutted in, as if he owned the place, along with several other people, only one of whom Dean recognised. Azazel.

Neither of them were particularly pleasant, in all honesty. Both of them were threating enough that the Winchesters had given them a large berth upon first seeing them.

Azazel was obviously the brawn of the duo, whereas Alastair was left with the brains.

Anyway, the large group sat into a booth near a window, and spoke in hushed voices.

"Dean, can you go serve those boys? I'm busy, here. It'll just take me a minute, but could you?" Ellen asked, sounding so apologetic and sincere that Dean couldn't possibly say no.

He would have gone to Hell and back just to be able to avoid going near them, but life doesn't work out like that.

So, with gritted teeth, Dean sauntered over to the table.

"Any drinks for the group?" he asked sweetly. Alastair looked at him, with a smile that sent shivers down his spine.

"Winchester, working in an old diner? Thought I'd seen it all." Dean merely flexed his jaw, keeping a temporary lid on his anger.

"Want any drinks, or not?" Dean asked again, without nearly so much patience. Alastair tutted, whereas the others just snarled at him.

"Be polite, Dean. We'll have 5 cokes." he finally requested. Dean gave a curt nod, and rushed back to the kitchen.

He  _did_  just go to Hell and back.

Hell was sitting in his adoptive mother's diner.

*   *   *

"I'll take these, Dean, thank you, honey. You can go now, Jo and Ash'll be here for their shifts in a minute." came Ellen's soft voice from behind him.

Dean internally released a sigh of relief. If he went back over there, he'd end up ripping all their heads off.

"Thanks, Ellen." he shot her a grateful smile before heading off to the bathroom for a quick stop.

He did not see Alastair follow him in.

He  _did_ hear him close and lock the door behind him.

"Hello, Dean."

Ah, shit.

*   *   *

"What the fuck do you want, Milton?"

"Tut tut tut, Dean Winchester. Is that anyway to treat a customer?" Dean snorted.

"I'm off the clock, now. I don't have to be nice to you."

"I was rather hoping you could shed some light on your attitude, Dean." The Winchester just gaped for a few seconds before replying,

"As if you don't know, you fucker."

Alastair allowed his mouth to widen just a tad, before his eyes lit up with mischief.

"This is about your dear Castiel, is it not?" Dean simply growled in response, leaving Alastair with a satisfactory smirk.

"Listen, asshole. Whatever you're saying to him, whatever you're  _threatening_ him with, fuckin' stop. Or I'll rip your damn throat out." he threatened, his anger suddenly leaking out of him. Alastair's face held almost no reaction to what Dean had said, save for a little confusion and curiosity.

"So you  _haven't_ read the letters?" Dean froze in his tracks, at a loss for what to say. He didn't need to. 

Alastair began to laugh loudly, an unpleasant, nasally sound.

That was the last straw.

On impulse, he lashed out, forearm pressing against Alastair's throat and pinning him against the wall. Alastair didn't look in the least concerned.

"Listen here, you little fuck," seethed Dean. "Quit botherin' Cas, and I know for a fact you're threatening him, or  _something,_ because he won't talk to me or even his brothers. If you don't quit, I'll go to the fuckin' cops."

At that, even Alastair had to tense up slightly, expression now frozen on anger.

"You wouldn't. I could actually go now, and charge you with unprovoked assault-" Dean interrupted, laughing.

"I'm not stupid enough to leave any physical damage on you, asshole, and it's your work against min. I'm sure you have quite the record going on."

That seemed to irritate Alastair. He knew Dean was right.

It was enough to make him shrug Dean off, and walk over to the door.

"What Castiel does is not in any way my fault." he drawled, finally. Alastair unlocked the door, and left, letting it slam shut behind him.

"Son of a  _bitch_."

*   *   *

It was after 3 by the time Dean finally got to Cas's house again, for the second time that day, finally calm after the altercation with Alastair.

"CAS, YOUR BOYFRIEND IS BACK AGAIN!" Gabriel yelled, not even bothering to open the door first.

"NOT HIS DAMN BOYFRIEND!"  _Yet,_ his stupidly hopeful, ridiculous inner voice mused.

Cas finally answered the door.

"You meant it when you said 'Later,'?" 

"Duh. I wasn't gonna leave you with a cliffhanger like that till next time! And, in case you forgot, I haven't seen it either, and would very much like to know  _how he fuckin' did it."_

The pair went back into the room with Netflix, and set it up again.

Dean did not mention the incident with Alastair. 

Cas seemed totally at ease, sitting so close to Dean.

Dean did not mind at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N WHAT? SHE UPLOADED? OH MY GODDDDD! Okay I maay have uploaded this two days after I promised myself I would...
> 
> but okay.
> 
> I PROMISE I AM WORKING ON THE NEXT CHAPTER, IT WILL BE UP BY SATURDAY!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N We're nearing the end :( So, apologies, but this and I guess the next chapter are both mostly angsty D: This chap goes from light and fluffy to dark and angsty within a few sentences, so.... yeah.
> 
> Graphic descriptions of self mutilation!
> 
> Also Sherock s3 spoilers.

**Castiel Novak**

"THAT IS NOT HOW HE FAKED HIS DEATH!" Dean yelled at the screen; Cas was too busy staring at the screen with his mouth hanging open to say anything. 

There was no way that they had gotten a mask of Sherlock's face and pasted it onto Moriarty's!

 _ **"BOLLOCKS!"**_ Lestrade shouted on the tv screen. Immediately the picture cut to one of Anderson and Lestrade talking, and Anderson continually trying to explain how Sherlock 'Survived' the fall.

Judging by Lestrade's exasperated look, it wasn't the first time he'd done it.

Cas and Dean were both struck into silence.

*   *   *

"SHERLOCK,  _NO_!" Cas yelled at the screen, after Sherlock had insulted John's moustache. Dean chuckled for a second, before returning his entire attention to the screen. It was the first time that Dean had prioritised watching the screen over looking at Cas.

Cas didn't mind.

*   *   *

"I like Mary, she's really nice to Sherlock." Dean said, a smile on his face. "Though it is kinda weird, my parents were called John and Mary, and my dad was in the Marines. Weird."

Cas gave him a look of curiosity, but didn't press the subject.

Their attention returned to the screen.

*   *   *

By the end of the episode, the pair were awestruck.

"Well... I guess that was rather apt." Cas offered, breaking the silence and turning off the TV.

"Yeah... I wasn't disappointed, I'll tell you that!" Dean grinned, getting to his feet. "Well, I suppose I ought to be headin' back. Gotta tease Sammy about his date with Jess tonight." he laughed, flushing slightly, for a reason that Cas didn't know.

Dean looked like he wanted to say more.

He didn't.

"Okay. See you at school, Dean." Dean just nodded, and headed out. Through the window, he watched the elegant Impala drive away.

 _Yep. You have a crush on one Dean Winchester._  Cas thought to himself, tone chastising.

Dean was supportive, of course. But he would never feel the same way for Cas.

That's what Cas thought, or rather,  _knew_ in his mind.

*   *   *

_Dear Castiel,_

_I see you sent that brute Dean Winchester to sort out your affairs._

_I thought my warning was quite clear? I suppose I'll have to spread a little rumour about what that brother of his gets up to in the blanket of night..._

_I can practically hear you gasping at this point, Castiel. Relax. I won't let anything out, truth or lies. Yet. Not about the Winchester, anyway. As I have warned you previously, don't try anything._

_Oh, and don't think I don't know about the flame you hold for him. Frankly, I'm surprised he has't 'ditched' you already, seeing as he knows about your orientation. I'm sure he knows and agrees how disgusting it really is._

_Dean **tolerates** you, Castiel, at  **best**._

_Nothing more, I assure you._

_Faithfully,_

_Alastair._

_*   *   *_

Cut. Cut. 

He didn't call Dean.

*   *   *

Five days later, another one turned up.

Cas almost had a panic attack, as he'd felt the anxiety seep into his core, and had just barely suppressed it, only just regained control of his laboured breathing. Castiel didn't know what he'd done this time.

He hoped it wasn't as bad as he expected.

_Castiel,_

_I'm impressed. You haven't told that oaf anything, and you are much more subdued._

_I admit: I am very impressed. Many have cracked before you have, and of course you remember those rumours._

_Samandriel and those drugs. Gordon Walker and his violent, aggressive tendencies. Ruby, and the seemingly endless spiel of lies she had cocooned herself in._

_The list goes on..._

_But as I was saying, Castiel. I am very glad that I have yet to use those specific methods to get to you._

_Continue to do so, perhaps an arrangement can be reached. One where I can promise you and your prissy friends will not be hurt by me._

_Keep up the good work. Try not to disgust Winchester so much, have you not seen the way he looks at you sometimes? Nobody actually wants you here. You'd be more use in a coffin._

_Sincerely,_

_Alastair._

_*   *   *_

Castiel let out a sob.

It was only when he sat on his bathroom floor, crying as quietly as he could manage, that he realised why Alastair did all of this.

He'd originally thought Alastair had an endgame, a plan so everything would fall perfectly in place. But he didn't.

No, Castiel realised that Alastair got off on knowing he had leverage on almost everyone. He got off knowing that by pulling one or two intricately woven strings, he could bring them crashing down.

That sudden epiphany terrified Castiel more than the prospect of Alastair having a reason for all of this.

He could do nothing to stop him.

*   *   *

Two weeks later, everything got worse. He'd received a further 2 letters from Alastair.

Each more threatening than the last. Each more heartbreaking.

He spent less time with Dean and his friends, seeing how they'd glance at him when they thought he didn't see. Cas wasn't an idiot; he saw the well masked disgust in almost all their eyes. Everyone except Charlie.

She had a look that was more  _pity_  than anything else. That hurt the most.

He spent a lot of time in his room, painting. Or sleeping. Three times, as of Wednesday that week, he'd refused to watch Sherlock with Dean, and though he felt a pang of guilt at how deflated he looked, he was spurred on with the knowledge that Dean was really  _glad_.

Anyway, he'd broken his promise to Dean. Well, several, actually. He'd promised to let him know if he... cut, again, but he didn't. He was slightly more discreet, and it seemed to work, seeing as Dean trusted Cas to tell him the truth. Castiel had also promised to tell Dean if Alastair threatened him.

Cas lied a lot more than he ever thought himself capable of.

It scared him.

*   *   *

Cas's levels dropped.

He knew why, of course, but it still did nothing to prevent it from happening. From usually getting considerably high scores, his were suddenly dropping to practically the worst in class. 

Each teacher gave him a quizzical, mildly concerned look. None of them asked, none of them wanted to know.

"Cas, are you feelin' okay?" came a deep but gentle voice to his side at lunch.

"Fine." The universal 'Fine'. The _'I'm actually not fine but I want you to act like I'm fine'_  fine. Dean gave him a disapproving look; he wasn't going to fall for that bullshit.

"Cas, you've been zoning out on me and classes for three weeks, man!" he exclaimed. Cas just sighed, not believing the caring act for a second.

"I'm just stressed, Dean. Really." The other boy gave him a scrutinizing look, looking at the bags around his eyes.

"Cas, have you been sleeping?" he asked, slowly, seemingly unsure of if he'd overstepped the line.

Cas just narrowed his eyes. "Of course I have," he snapped. "I'm just  _stressed._ " 

The last part wasn't a complete lie. He hadn't slept for more than 3 hours at a time in a fortnight. The anniversary of his mother's death was in a few days, and he wasn't prepared at all for it.

Distractions came in the form of Sam, Gabriel and the rest of their now enormous group. Dean seemed grateful for the distraction, and sidled over to Sam so he could begin teasing, though, you wouldn't notice it if you weren't good friends with someone, he didn't sound quite as enthusiastic as usual.

"Hey, Sammy, where's Jess?" Dean asked, only half playful as Sam usually brought his girlfriend to their group. Sam flushed bright red and looked at his feet.

"We, uh... broke up? I guess..." Immediately Dean backed off, smile slipping slightly from his face.

"Sorry, dude I-"

"S'okay, Dean. She said, 'I know I'm not the one you're really interested in.'" The group took a moment to take in that information. Surprisingly, Cas found himself tentatively breaking the silence.

"If, you uh, don't mind me asking, who is?" Everyone whipped to face Cas, surprised that he had spoken up after a few days of relatively silence.

Sam hesitated, casting a sidelong glance at Gabriel who was picking at his nails. Everyone caught the look (except Gabriel) but patiently waited. Sam coughed slightly.

"Gabriel." he mumbled. Everyone heard, and swivelled to train their eyes on a very astonished Gabriel. Gabe stared at Sam for a few seconds, mouth hanging low. Seeing how Sam was anxiously shifting his weight, he realised that Sam wasn't lying.

Gabriel smiled. "He's a great guy, if you ask me." he teased, playful. "From what I've heard, he likes you too."

The group started laughing, even Sam and especially Charlie. 

"Referring to yourself in third person, eh, Gabe?" Jo joked

Dean decided to ask the question. "So Gabe, does this mean you're dating my brother now?" he smirked slightly, to ensure it was light hearted.

"If that's what Sammy wants...?" he replied, nervous again. Sam broke out into a large grin.

"Huh, yeah, dude."

"I guess so then, Dean." 

Charlie looked about ready to explode.

"Oh em gee, my new favourite gays!" she practically yelled, excited. Cas decided to play along, and put on a fake frown, and timidly announced,

"I thought  _I_ was your favourite gay." At that, the entire group was reduced to laughter, and Cas couldn't suppress the grin that bloomed. At last, Charlie wiped away tears of laughter, and said,

"They're my favourite gay  _couple_ , then!" she paused, then looked at Dean for a second. "Well, until a certain person decides to man up and admit it. Y'know. Just a suggestion." 

It seemed everyone in the group seemed to understand the meaning of that except for Castiel. He didn't know who it was directed at, or why, so he reverted to tilting his head in confusion, squinting his eyes at the bubbly red head.

"Oh, don't look at me like that, Cas! All in due time..." she remarked, ominously. Cas just shook his head, and everyone chuckled once more.

He could've sworn he had seen Dean with a red flush on his face.

*   *   *

_Amelia Emily Novak  
_

_ &_

_Anael Novak_

_Mother and Daughter_

_Reside with Angels_

"Hello, Mom." Cas began, voice already wavering as tears sprang to his eyes. He sat before the black marble headstone, laying down lavender pink orchids - her favourite - at the base.

"You'd be so proud of Gabriel right now. He has a boyfriend, and I remember you used to talk about how lovely it was that people like that were happy together, you were supportive of your friends. I know you'd feel the same for both of us. He's doing so well at school, too. I'm checking up on him all the time for you. I'll always look after him.

"Balthazar is... Well, he's Balthazar. Sarcastic little Balth. As far as I know, he's doing well, too. He does't share much.

"Raphael... I don't see him much. He still hasn't forgiven me. It's been almost 12 years and I don't think he ever will. Father feels the same. But I don't care, it's less than I deserve. Truth be told, I haven't forgiven myself.

"I've met someone, too. Honestly? I'd go to Hell and back for him. I've only known him three months, but... I would.

"But he doesn't care about me at all. Or our friends. I can see the disgust in their eyes when they look at me. It was fun, though. Our time, as a group. I thought, perhaps I can get away from everything. Away from what I did to you, away from Alastair."

Cas grimaced, remembering the harrowing letters he'd received.

"He won't stop, Mom. He won't go away this time. He's not going to destroy me, he's going to destroy  _them._ Even if they don't care about me, I won't let Alastair ruin everything for them." Tears flowed freely.

"I don't know what he has on them, but I know it would bring them down. It's happened to others, before, I've told you about them. I won't let him do it to them, any of them. Not to Charlie, or Ash. Not to Jo or Gilda or Kevin. Especially not to Sam and Dean. He's already staying away from Gabriel, I made sure of that last time." He cut himself off there, thinking for a moment.

Slowly, Castiel gathered the courage for what he was going to say next. He hadn't said any of it aloud, and wanted to be able to get through it all.

"Alastair sent me a letter yesterday, Mom. Another one. He didn't say much, he just does it to taunt me, mostly. But-" he hiccuped slightly. "he wrote, "You don't matter, Castiel, not to me, not to anyone." And, Mom, I realised... He's  _right."_ He smiled weakly.

"So... I'm going to see you soon Mom. And Anna. If there is a Heaven." He couldn't choke back a sob.

"I'm coming home."

*   *   *

 He knocked on the door of the Singer house. In his arms was the large painting of Wings that had originally hung proudly above his bed. Cas couldn't bear to look at it any more. That was when he remembered that Dean had taken an immediate liking to the picture.

Perhaps he would want it.

Bobby was the one who opened the door, chuckling from a recently told joke, mirth in his eyes. His face turned slightly, into one of confusion, but pleasantly surprised.

"Castiel? What're you doin' here boy? C'mon, get your butt in here." Without having time to protest, he was pulled in by firm hands.

"Here to speak to Dean, I take it?" At Cas's nod, he yelled for Dean. Quietly, so Cas could barely hear he mumbled, "Damn kid won't shut up about you."

"WHAT?" Came a disgruntled yell from upstairs. Bobby rolled his eyes.

"THE HOLY TAX ACCOUNTANT IS HERE!" Cas looked down self consciously, and remembered the trench coat and blue tie he still wore.

Dean didn't seem to know who the Holy Tax Accountant was, so came down to investigate, stopping when he saw Cas.

"Oh, hey Cas." Bobby left then to give them some privacy. "Is something wrong?" 

Cas shook his head. "No I... I, um, wanted to give you this." Dean's face contorted in confusion for a second, looking to the canvas being held in Cas's arms, before his eyes widened almost comically.

"Cas, no! I can't take this! It-" Cas cut him off by rolling his eyes and insisting,

"Take the damn painting, Dean. I made another one, and I didn't have room, so I thought maybe you;d like it." Lies came much easier now. Dean seemed to relax slightly, but was still quite tense.

"I dunno, man... I just... Don't feel right." 

"Dean, if I didn't mean the offer, would I have come here?" The logic seemed to stun Dean into silence. After a moment, he seemed to come around, tentatively asking,

"Cas, are you sure?" Again, Cas rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Dean."

"Then come help me put it up." The pair headed upstairs. Suddenly, Dean stopped, grinning wickedly. He held a finger to his mouth, and barged into a door on the left.

"HEY SAMMY!" Through the gap, Cas could see two figures suddenly dive to opposite sides, and a loud yelp came from the room.

Even Cas had to laugh at that.

"You two, keep it PG," Dean laughed. Cas saw his own brother glare at Dean.

"Hello, Gabriel."

"Hey, bro."

Dean was still chuckling when he shut the door to Sam's room, and entered his own. He started kicking a few stray items out of his path on the floor, and headed over to one side of the wall.

Cas was immediately struck with the odd warmth of the room, so, not wanting to take of his coat, he absent-mindedly pulled off his tie, and unbuttoned the first button.

Dean looked at him sympathetically, eyes darting to Cas's neck where he'd unbuttoned the shirt, lingering for just a second too long.

"Yeah, I know, it's freakin' boiling in here. You'll get used to it."

He pulled down an old, slightly battered frame with a Metallica drawing in it, and motioned for Cas to pass him the painting.

 After it was up, the pair took a step back to admire the painting against the cream of the wall. The stark contrast between the wall and the myriad of colours gave a beautiful effect. Dean smiled softly.

"Man, you have got to make another one, Ellen would  _love_ to put one of these babies in the hall." he rambled absently, not noticing the way Cas's face fell slightly.

"Yeah."  

"Did you want to stay for a while? I'm sure Bobby and Ellen would love to have you for dinner-" Cas cut him off.

"No I should be heading back."

"You sure?" Cas narrowed his eyes.

" _Yes,_ I'm sure, Dean." he snapped. Dean frowned at him.

"Are you sure you're okay? You've been acting weird all-"

"Dean, I told you I'm  _fine,_ drop it!" he fumed. Dean lifted his hands in defeat.

"Okay, Cas. At least let me give you a ride home."

"That won't be necessary." Cas replied, stiffly. He headed towards the stairs.

"Not up for debate, Cas." He gritted his teeth, and rolled his eyes, but did nothing to protest further.

*   *   *

 _"'Cause I'm Wanted, Dead or Alive!"_ Dean sang loudly, without inhibitions as Cas clutched his stomach from laughing so much.

"You sound so ridiculous!"

"Oh wow, thanks!" Dean fake pouted as he pulled up to Cas's house.

And that was when Castiel suddenly realised that he'd never got to say to Dean how he truly felt, however much of a 'Chick Flick moment' that may sound. Cas bit the inside of his cheek, glancing down at Dean's mouth.

He needed to do it. Just once. It wouldn't even matter that Dean would hate him. He'd be gone by tomorrow anyway.

Castiel jolted forward, pushing his own lips insistently against Dean's. He kept his eyes clamped shut, not wanting to see the disgust on Dean's face as he registered what Castiel was doing.

He felt Dean recoil slightly, and Cas was about to pull away.

And then Dean kissed him back. Hesitant, gentle, but definitely kissing him back. Dean brought his hands to rest gently on Cas's sides, and pulled him slightly closer.

Cas finally pulled away after a moment. Den rested his forehead against Cas's, breathless, and looked into his eyes. Neither seemed to know what to say.

The realisation of what Cas had just done dawned on him, and he flinched backwards.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have-" Cas panicked, believing the silence to be a bad sign.

"Cas, it wasn't a bad thing, I-"

"I have to go, I'm sorry, Dean." He all but ran from the Impala, coat flaring dramatically behind him. Behind him he heard the Impala door slam shut, and Dean running up to him. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Cas, wait-"

"Dean, _no_ , go home!"

"I'm not going to leave, I need to know if you meant to do that!"

"Dean, I said  _no!"_ Another voice cut through their argument.

"Cassie? Is everything alright?" Balth's voice was oddly gentle, but when Cas looked, he saw him glaring daggers at Dean. He wrenched himself away.

"Yes everything's fine. Go  _home,_ Dean." His tone was slightly hostile, and he saw Dean recoil slightly, but he slumped and nodded. _  
_

"'Kay. Uh, see you tomorrow, I guess." Cas said nothing more as he watched Dean get in the car and drive away.

"What was that all about?" his brother asked. Cas just sighed.

"Nothing, Balth." Cas didn't realise he'd entered the house until he heard Balth close the door.

"Of course it was nothing."

"It is none of your concern, then." His brother rolled his eyes, seemingly deciding to drop the subject.

"Dad will be back soon, and Mike and Luci will get here tomorrow afternoon." Castiel was only half listening, barely registering the words as he sat in the kitchen. He suddenly interrupted his brother.

"Balthazar." He cut off mid speech.

"Yes, Cassie?" Cas hesitated for a moment.

"You mean a lot to me. You and Gabe both. You know that, right?" Balthazar burrowed his eyebrows in confusion, and replied slowly,

"Of course I know that Castiel. Are you okay?" 

"Yes, it's... Just that I don't say it very often. I thought you should hear it." Balthazar looked extremely sceptical, and asked again.

"Castiel, if there is something wrong, you have to tell me."

"Nothing's wrong. I just... I've been thinking about mom." His brother sat back, and sighed. "I never told her that she meant a lot to me, and I'm worried if I never say it, you might be gone, and I wouldn't get to say it at all."  The lies just came scarily easily. 

"Cassie... You  _know_ what happened to her wasn't your fault. You always get into a funny mood around this time of year, and it's frankly alarming."

"I know. I'm sorry, it's all I can think of."

"Well... It really isn't your fault. We've all gotten over it, we remember her fondly. You should too." Internally, Cas snorted.  _All gotten over it? Tell that to Father and Rafi, if I so much as mention her, they try and slap me._  

Externally, he relaxed slightly, and nodded. "I know. I'm going to get an early night, it's been a rough day." Thankfully, Balthazar was relieved that Cas was listening to reason, and nodded.

"Of course. See you tomorrow, Cassie." 

Cas said nothing as he climbed the stairs for the last time.

*   *   *

Cas lingered in his room for around 10 minutes, taking everything in one last time. 

He headed to the box under his bed, and opened it, tipping it's contents onto the bed. There were about 20 almost perfectly pristine envelopes with the same crimson cursive painted on them.

The letters from Alastair. 

Carefully, he sorted them into two neat piles, stacked against each other. After another moment of deliberation, he picked up a pen and paper from his stationary drawer. He began to write.

_These letters are the reason I was driven here._

_They are all from Alastair, and though he has never outright forced me to do this_ _, he has blackmailed me and many people before me. I didn't have the courage to do this when I was alive._

_When I'm dead, he can't hurt me. Take them to the police, he has signed his name and a simple handwriting sample would be all the proof they need. As far as I am aware, driving someone to commit suicide is also punishable by prison sentence, though he'll most likely get sent to a Juvenile facility._

_If it works, I'm glad I could possibly have stopped anyone else taking this drastic measure. Perhaps others will speak up also._

_This is not solely Alastair's fault; many things have to be taken into consideration._

_I'm sorry. I know none of you care, so don't bother to mourn me._

_Goodbye._

*   *   *

Cas couldn't leave a note like that, could he? He had to, he couldn't just...  _Go_ and not leave a reason.

Truthfully, he was mostly angry at himself for not saying goodbye to Dean, even though he didn't care. Though maybe he could. It would at least give him a little peace of mind before...

Well, he at least owed it to Dean, who hated him anyway.

He gripped his phone loosely in his hand, and shaking, he unlocked it. Carefully, he began typing a text out, not trusting himself to speak aloud.

_**I'm sorry.** _

_**Goodbye, Dean.** _

*   *   *

He lay on the bed, as he thought it would be easier for someone to find him in the morning like this, as opposed to breaking down the bathroom door, desperately hoping to help him.

Not that anyone would've wanted to do that.

It was easy to drag the blade along the length of his arm. Really easy, considering he was cutting deeper than he'd ever cut before. From his wrist to halfway to his elbow he cut, then moved slightly to the left and right, repeating the motion.

Tears sprang to his eyes from the pain he was too numb to feel. 

He left it at one arm. He'd bleed out in 20-30 minutes.

Castiel felt himself grow more and more tired.

He felt the blood ooze out of his cuts.

_It's over._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N oh my god
> 
> that was so painful
> 
> i am so sorry
> 
> wow
> 
> i tried to use Sabriel as a peace offering but I really don't think it'll work... haha please don't kill me


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N yeah sorry about that, I couldn't leave you in suspense for too long, what can I say, I'm a saint :D  
> I'm actually gonna switch POVs a few times this chapter, please bear with me! It'll be Dean, Balth and back to Dean-o

 

**Dean Winchester**

Where the fuck did he go wrong?

20 minutes before, he hadn't even thought Cas had  _liked_ him in that way, now, they'd kissed in the Impala, and somehow, Dean had royally fucked up.

He'd been surprised that Cas had made the first move, to be honest; he'd been trying to work up his own courage to do it. Not that he was complaining. The kiss was sweet, gentle, and everything a first kiss should be.

It was afterwards that Dean was lost for words at. He'd followed Cas to the house, but had been ushered away by Cas's hostile tone and Balthazar's threatening glare.

In hindsight, Balthazar probably thought he'd taken advantage of him, or something.

Great, now he was going to spent half the night with his head in his hands like an over emotional teenaged girl dying to text her crush.

He was sitting on the bed doing just that. Step one: complete. 

Dean honestly didn't want to wait until tomorrow to talk to Cas. He couldn't shake the feeling that there's something seriously wrong. Dean just couldn't quite put his finger on what. But Dean couldn't exactly go over there without a reason, Balthazar was pissed, and Cas definitely did not seem to want to see him.

 _Insert Genius Plan Here,_ Dean thought, smiling without humour.

*   *   *

After 5 minutes of being bored out of his mind, he decided to tidy his room. 1, so he could get his mind of Cas, and 2, because Ellen had been nagging him about it all week. He put his phone on silent so that he could work in relative peace, and to eliminate distractions, as Ellen would insist.

It took him a moment to get into a rhythm, but he managed. He decided to start on the massive pile of random posters and leaflets in the corner of his room.

He'd glance at each one, and if he thought it could be useful, he put it in a small, empty box he kept under his bed. Admittedly, most of the 'useful' ones were for health and safety, that all schools were obligated to hand out. Most people threw them away, but apparently, Dean was at least part way to being a hoarder. 

And then one leaflet caught his eye.

_Warning Signs of Suicide:_

  * Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly.
  * Sleeping too little or too much.
  * Withdrawn or feeling isolated.
  * Displaying extreme mood swings.
  * Talking about being a burden to others.
  * Suddenly happier, calmer.
  * Loss of interest in activities one cares about.
  * Giving things away, such as prized possessions.
  * Visiting or calling people to say goodbye.



_If someone you know exhibits one or more of these symptoms, we urge you to encourage them to seek medical assistance._

Dean was shaking by the time he'd gotten to bottom of the list.

Most of them applied to Cas.

Cas wasn't sleeping right, he could tell from the bags under his eyes. Cas was much quieter these past few weeks. He did seem to be changing moods oddly quickly. Today, he had seemed very much at ease. He didn't want to watch Sherlock anymore. He gave Dean the painting of Wings.

Castiel was suicidal.

Dean didn't know what to do about that. How did he approach Cas? Cas didn't want to speak to him tonight, and Balthazar certainly wouldn't let him in.

He needed a reason to get in, to see Cas. He didn't have one. Dean dropped his head in his hands, staring at the floor. He was internally whining over his predicament, when he saw a sliver of blue out of the corner of his eye.

Cas's tie. He hadn't picked it up, or he'd forgotten to. He had a reason to go. Dean picked up his phone to check the time when he saw he had a text.

From Castiel, 14 minutes ago.

**I'm sorry.**

**Goodbye, Dean.**

Dean paled, and his breathing sped up. He was too late. 

 _No,_ Dean told himself firmly.  _There's still a chance- I have to call paramedics!_ Reason temporarily took over, and he dialed 911 as he ran outside towards the Impala.

"M-my friend, I think he's going to try a-and kill himself," Tears welled up in his eyes. "I'm going there to check on him but he's had the symptoms of it but I've only just realised, I'm so  _stupid._ "

" _Sir, this is not your fault, please give us the address so I can dispatch an ambulance."_  Dean stuttered out the address, pushed the key into the ignition, and hung up. It was lucky they lived a few streets apart, he'd be there within minutes.

Sure enough, he pulled up haphazardly, and barely managed to turn the car off before racing from the car. He banged on the door, yelling for someone to open up. 

As he expected, it was Balthazar.

"What on earth do you want Winchester?" he asked, not bothering to pretend to be polite. Dean tried to barge past him, but the blond boy shoved him back.

"I don't know what you did to Cassie, but I am  _not_ letting you go and talk to him." he snarled, with a protective tone.

"You don't understand, I think he's gonna fuckin' kill himself!" Baltazar stiffened, but otherwise didn't react. Dean took the opportunity to shove him back and raced up the stairs.

"CAS?" he yelled, hoping desperately he would get an answer. He didn't.

Balthazar seemed to have regained his wits, and was right behind Dean when he slammed the door open.

Though Dean had expected it, he hadn't prepared for how Castiel would actually  _look._

Dean's best friend was lying in the centre of his large bed, his left arm bleeding steadily while his right arm lay still, holding a small razor blade.

He heard Balthazar choke from behind him. However, he was more interested in the fact that he had seen Cas recoil slightly when the door slammed, and how his head twitched slightly.

Dean seemed to be the first to take action, sprinting to the bathroom and grabbing a large towel.

"Oh my god, we have to call an Ambulance-" Balthazar managed to squeeze out, looking almost as pale as Castiel.

"Already did." Dean grunted out, blinking back tears. "I just noticed, how could I have noticed this late..." he trailed off as he wrapped the towel around Cas's blood soaked arm in a tight tourniquet.

Gently, he patted Cas's cheek, willing him to open his eyes. "Cas, please, open your eyes. Can you do that?" There was a soft moan from Castiel, and his eyes fluttered open slowly.

"D-Dean? Why a-are you h-here?" he asked, eyes wide and innocent. Dean smiled slightly.

"I came to make sure you were ok, and-" Dean cut himself off there. Realisation set in Castiel's face, and he tried to sit up, but both Dean and Balthazar pushed him back down gently.

"Don't try and move, Cassie." Balthazar pleaded. Cas's eyelids threatened to shut again.

"Hey, hey, stay with me, Cas, okay? C'mon, stay awake, please." The ambulance that he'd called earlier started to whir nearby, and Dean laughed slightly. "You're gonna be okay, you hear me?" Tears fell openly down Dean's face, and Cas's own eyes shone with tears.

"I-I'm sorry, D-Dean. Please don't leave." His voice was barely more than a scratchy whisper, and Dean patted his cheek again. The noise of the Ambulance halted outside, and Balthazar raced downstairs to let them in.

"I won't, I'll be right with you, okay?" Two paramedics rushed into the room, and Dean took a step back, letting them do their job. Dean spluttered out to an upset Balthazar,

"I'm going with him." Instead of putting up an argument, much to Dean's surprise, he just nodded weakly.

"I'm too much of an emotional wreck. Oh god, how am I going to tell Gabe?" Balth fretted. Dean realised that both of them had a fair amount of blood on them, mostly on Dean, but much more noticeably on Balthazar. The blonde had been wearing lighter colours, so the blackish red was more pronounced.

They stood in silence for a moment, and then the paramedics were taking Cas down the stairs, efficiently, but carefully. Well practiced. 

Dean followed them into the Ambulance, sitting on Cas's right side so that he could clasp his hand without disturbing the paramedics. 

By then, Cas was almost completely out of it, but Dean managed to hear Cas say so softly Dean couldn't be sure he heard it,

"I didn't think you cared."

And that just broke his heart.

*   *   *

**Balthazar Novak**

Balthazar didn't even bother to change; he just got in his car, and drove as fast as he responsibly could to the Singer home. He had to suppress sobs long enough to keep his eyes on the road.

He parked quickly, but he still stayed in the car for a few moments, letting out the sobs. Balth still couldn't quite believe what Cas had done, but the bits of blood on his clothes proved it.

Maybe he  _should_  have changed.

He composed himself, then slowly made his way up to the door, eyes red and puffy. He knocked. There was a muffled  _'I'll get it,'_ and the door opened to a tall boy with shaggy hair. Sam.

Quickly, Sam's grin eased into a concerned frown. "Balthazar? What's-" He cut off, glancing down at his clothes. Sam took a step back. "Uhh, Gabriel?" he called, hesitantly. Gabriel giggled and appeared next to Sam.

"Hey bro, what're-" his eyes widened. "Oh my god, what happened?" Opening his mouth to answer, a sob was let out instead.

"I'd rather n-not do this out h-here. May I come in?" Slowly, Sam nodded, and led him through to the kitchen, where there was a table to sit on. After a few moments of relative silence, Balth was about to start talking, when Ellen walked in.

"Who was at the door?" she noticed Balth and raised her eyebrows, and then her eyes caught the blood. "Oh my- What the hell is going on here?" she yelled, which attracted the attention of a young blonde, and an older man with baseball cap an a beard.

Sam explained how Balth was Gabe's brother, and that made them relax slightly. But they were still convinced he had murdered someone or something.

"Gabriel, it's Castiel..." was all he got out before he began to cry again. The effect was immediate. Everyone stiffened, and Gabe had a look of disbelief.

"DEAN, GET 'YER ASS DOWN-"

"He isn't here, Bobby." The older man rounded on him.

"Why not? You better start explanin' yourself, kid!" Bobby announced, and Ellen scolded him.

"Robert Singer, can't you see this boy has enough to deal with at the moment? Your yellin' is just going to make it worse! It's okay, honey, you can tell us when you're ready." she soothed. For a brief second, he found himself missing his own mother. It passed as quick as it came.

"If Dean hadn't been there... Cassie would have..." The words were unspoken, but everybody understood. Gabriel was beginning to lose his patience.

"Damn it, what the hell happened? Did he get attacked? Mugged?" The words were shaky. Balth shook his head desperately, staring at the table.

"He tried to-to  _kill himself._ " He cradled his head in his hands. There were several sharp gasps, and when he looked up, Gabriel had burrowed himself into Sam, crying. The young blonde girl had gone pale, and tears had begun to fall. Bobby had Ellen in a bear hug, while she sobbed and his tears fell silently.

"H-how did D-Dean know?" Gabe asked, broken. Balth shook his head.

"I don't know, he just turned up kicking and screaming to let me in. He saved Cassie's life." Another thought occurred to him. "How am I going to tell Father? And Rafi, and Mike and Luci?" He fell into sobs again, and this time nobody spoke for a few minutes.

Finally, Bobby's gruff voice broke the silence. "I'm takin' you boys to the hospital. Ellen, can you drive Jo?" Ellen nodded, tears drying up. "Is Dean with him?" Balthazar just nodded. "Good. Dean's a good kid."

In the car, Balthazar picked up his phone, but stared at the contacts list. "Who should I call first, Gabriel?" The younger sibling shrugged.

"Dad?" Balthazar seemed to agree, as he clicked their father's contact. "Put it on speaker, I want to talk, too.

He picked up after three rings.

"Ah, Balthazar, me and Raphael are going on a work trip for a few days. I was about to call you. We won't be back until next week. Sorry, I am aware of how sudden it is, but work was quite insistent." he rambled, not allowing Balthazar to speak. Balth and Gabe looked at each other with surprise and a bit of anger.

"You need to come home."

"I can't, I've just told you-"

"Castiel's in the hospital." That shut him up. He heard a sigh on the other end.

"What did he get himself into this time?" The Novak brothers recoiled in astonishment.

"What''s that supposed to mean?" Gabriel interjected.

"Castiel's always getting into trouble, haven't you noticed? Neither of us can come home, so it'll have to wait until next week. Sorry, boys. Can't help it." 

Their 'father' hung up. They saw Sam's eyes widen in the front seat, and Bobby's turn hard.

"His son's in the hospital, and he doesn't even ask why? When I get my hands on him..." Gabriel threatened. Balthazar was already ringing Mike and Luci.

"Hello?" came Michael's voice. "Balth?" 

"Yeah, uh, can you put me on speaker?" he asked tentatively. Michael was silent for a few seconds, then,

"Yeah... Okay, you're on speaker. What's wrong?" Michael had always been one to tell if something was wrong first. Both boys hesitated.

"Castiel's in the hospital." They were met only with silence, until Lucifer's steely, barely concealed tone of anger cut through.

"Was it Dad or Raphael?" Everyone in the vehicle recoiled in shock. Gabe choked out,

"What?"

"Was it  _Dad_ or  _Raphael._  Answer me, Gabriel." The two shared a very confused look.

"N-neither, why would you think that?" A few more seconds of silence.

"You don't know... Then why is he in the hospital?" Michael spoke, authority in his voice. Again, they hesitated. Balthazar spoke softly,

"He tried to kill himself." Harsh gasps were heard from the other end of the line.

"Why?" they demanded in unison.

"We don't know, not yet."

"Where are you?" _  
_

"On the way to the hospital." Once again, there was silence on the other end. Balth realised why they were confused. "Cassie's friend is with him. I went to get Gabe and our friends to tell them."

"You trusted someone you barely know to go with Cas?" Luci demanded, raging once again.

"Dean saved his  _life,_ so yeah, I think I trust him!" That shocked Luci into submission.

"Did you call Dad?" Michael inquired softly. Hissing slightly, Gabe answered.

"Yeah, him and Raphael are too fuckin' busy at  _work_ to come and see their briefly almost dead son!" Lucifer growled, but Michael spoke before Luci could.

"We'll be there as soon as we can. I promise." Balthazar thanked him, and hung up.

They pulled into the hospital car park.

*   *   *

**Dean Winchester**

They'd kicked him out while they worked. It wasn't for too long but it still made him pace with worry. Then Doctor... Barnes? Emerged, and gave him the run down of the situation.

"We've given Castiel a blood transplant, and stitched up the wounds. The only thing we need to worry about is scarring. He's going to be out for a few hours, but he'll definitely pull through." She smiled. "If you'd waited another few minutes, well... You saved his life, Dean. Would you like to stay with him?" 

Dean nodded eagerly, and she laughed.

"Usually, we don't let guests stay with patients longer than visiting hours, but I've always been pretty lax on those rules. Stay as long as you want, sugar."

So he waited with Cas. He grasped Cas's right hand so he wouldn't disturb the stark white of the bandages.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner, Cas. I'm so sorry." Dean let the tears fall.

*   *   *

Balthazar and Gabriel came in for a while, and they thanked him for saving Cas. Dean didn't acknowledge the thanks. Cas was in a hospital; he didn't count that as a success.

They seemed to understand that Dean needed to stay with Cas more than they did. It was odd how they let him stay there alone with him. As Cas's actual family, they should've kicked Dean out and stayed themselves. But they didn't. They told Dean that his other brothers would be here tomorrow, and their deadbeat dad and Raphael wouldn't leave work.

Jo and Sam came in next. Jo, who was known to be one tough gal, could barely take the sight of Cas like this, and huddled into Sam. Sam just held her.

Ellen and Bobby came in last. Honesetly, Dean felt they were there more to comfort Dean than to see Cas, but he didn't say anything. Dean didn't speak at all.

They left not too long after, saying, "Get some sleep, kiddo. God knows, you need it."

He didn't sleep at all.

*   *   *

At 2:47 AM, Cas began to twitch awake, something that did not pass unnoticed by Dean. He immediately straightened, and leaned over.

"D-Dean? What's going on?" Cas asked, groggily. Dean smiled weakly.

"You're in the hospital, Cas." Instead of trying to sit up, or question Dean further, Cas's face contorted slightly, and he turned away.

"You should have let me  _die,_ Dean." Cas insisted quietly. "Why didn't you let me die?" he asked, broken. 

Dean's eys widened in shock. He was about to say 'You're my best friend,' but it didn't feel...  _right._

"I need you, Cas. We need you. You're  _family._ " Cas looked at him again, eyes shining with tears.

"I'm broken, Dean,  _cursed-_ " 

"I'd rather have you, cursed or not!" Cas gently pulled himself upright. He just sighed.

Carefully, gently, Dean moved his hands towards Cas's face, giving him ample opportunity to pull away. He didn't.

So Dean kissed him. And Cas kissed him back. Dean pulled away and smirked.

"You should get some more rest, god knows you'll need it when your brothers hear you're awake." Cas laughed. Dean took on a more serious tone. "And you will tell me why you did it." Cas face grew confused.

"You didn't see the note?"

"You left a note? Hmm, I must not have noticed it because I was trying to stop you from bleeding to death." Cas cringed. "Sorry, Cas. What note?" he asked, gentler now.

Cas giggled mischievously, inappropriate for the time. "That's what people do don't they? Leave a note."

Dean put his head in his hands and groaned. "You did not just quote Sherlock on me."

"I  _did_ just quote Sherlock on you." Dean huffed. 

"Get some sleep, Cas. Please." Cas sighed, but nodded. He began to shuffle closer to the edge of the bed. Cas looked at Dean expectantly.

"What?" Dean asked, cautious. Cas rolled his eyes.

"You haven't left my side at all, have you?" He took Dean's silence as a 'yes' and continued, "You haven't  _slept_ , have you?" Once again, Dean was silent. "Get on."

"Cas, I can't, that thing is  _tiny!_ " It was a feeble excuse, as the bed wasn't actually that small, but still. Cas was still kind of delirious from the morphine, and he didn't want to 'take advantage' of Cas.

"Dean, I know what I'm saying. Come on."

Extremely reluctantly, Dean got onto the bed with Cas. Immediately, he shuffled forward, burrowing his head against Dean's chest, arms resting against his stomach, legs bent. Surprised, Dean brought his hands around Cas's back, rubbing it soothingly, hugging Cas closer. He settled a tiny kiss on Cas's head, before resting his chin there, and closing his eyes.

They fell asleep like this, comfortably, and totally at ease.

It was the best either of them had slept in a long time.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Holy shit I'm on a roll! I'm hoping to get this completed within the week, but no promises! FYI I was planning on uploading an alternate ending after this has finished, where Cas died :( but I physically couldn't, it made me cry so much. So that is definitely not happening.
> 
> After I've finished this, I'll be writing a SuperWhoLock fic, but it'll take a while for me to figure out the plot.
> 
> Oh god, I just realised this chapter is also pretty angsty. You'll finally get to know about Cas's mom, yay! Or aww, depending on when you read it tbh

**Castiel Novak**

Cas groggily awoke to the low hum of someone's laughter. Still slightly disoriented, he fluttered his eyes open. He tried to sit up and face the intruder, but that was when he remembered he was tightly wrapped around Dean.

Unfortunately, his sudden movements caused Dean to stir.

"'Whus goin' on?" he asked, pulling away from Cas so he could sit up.

"Oh, nothing." came a snarky reply from someone with a British accent. Cas and Dean blinked.

"Crowley? The hell are you doing here?" They noticed the person next to him. "With  _Meg?"_  

Meg scoffed. "I wanted to see if Clarence was okay." Crowley chuckled slightly.

"Well, the Giraffe has grow on me a little." Dean rolled his eyes.

"It's too early for this crap. Why are you  _really_ here?" Both of their attitudes suddenly dropped, and were replace by something Cas couldn't quite place.

"They took your letters to the police, Clarence." Cas's stomach plummeted, whereas Dean looked at him in confusion. "They've asked anybody with similar letters, or info on Alastair to give a statement."

Dean rounded on Cas. " _Alastair?_ Alastair is what made you-! When I get my hands on that slimy fucker-" Crowley cut him off.

"Now, now, no need to get violent. Alastair's being dealt with,  _officially._ From what they already have, the evidence is pretty concrete. People are popping up all over the place with blackmail from Alastair. You've started a rebellion, Castiel." his voice was laced with... Pride? Awe? Something he'd never expected to see on Crowley's face, even less so towards him.

"I've already spoken to them, Clarence. The station's practically overrun at the mo, full of people giving Alastair what he deserves."

"But  _why?"_ Castiel asked, no more than a whisper. Meg rolled her eyes. _  
_

"Because, Castiel, people don't like it when an adorable little angel is driven to _attempt fucking suicide._ " Even Dean was shocked at that.

"How many people know? What freakin' time is it?" Dean looked to the clock and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. "Just after 12. Shit."

Crowley offered an answer to the first question. "Well, because of the police appeal... Everyone, I suppose." Cas hid his face in his hands, and groaned. Dean put his arm around him, and rubbed his back soothingly.

"The police want to talk to you, too, Clarence. We managed to make sure they would give you a few  hours. They're coming at 6 tonight." Cas groaned again. "And... They wanted us to give you this. We didn't read it, don't worry. We aren't that harsh." Meg held out a square piece of lined paper. 

His suicide note. He took it with trembling hands, but quickly decided to change the subject.

"I'm not an adorable little angel. Am I?" he mumbled, doubtfully. Dean laughed softly.

"Yeah, you are." Dean looked up to find Meg and Crowley staring at them intently. Finally, Meg asked,

"So are you two... Together?" 

"Uh, I guess so..?" he replied, confused. Crowley scowled at him, and Dean narrowed his eyes, preparing to defend him and Cas.

"Couldn't you have waited another week?" That caught both of them off guard.

"What?"

 "If you'd waited another week, I'd have been 75 bucks richer." he said ruefully.

"Wait, so... You guys were betting on when we'd..." Crowley nodded.

"Well, if you'll excuse us, we have to go pay up to an abnormally large Moose-person hybrid. Bye, boys." The pair left the room. Dean sighed.

"Well that was dramatic. I wonder who bet on when we'd get together? Sammy won..." Cas smiled softly. Dean suddenly grew serious.

"Cas... Can I read the- the note?" Cas gave him a wide eyed, Doe-in-the-headlights look. "Please, Cas. You meant for someone to find it, right?" Cas dropped his eyes, and reluctantly handed over the paper. "Thanks, Cas."

He read quickly, but Cas could tell by the way his posture stiffened that he was upset.

"You didn't think we cared." It was a statement, not a question, but Cas nodded glumly anyway.

Dean took Cas's chin in his hand, gently making Cas look at him. "We care. We all care a whole fuckin' lot about you, cause damn it, you're our  _friend._ You're  _family._ " Cas looked entirely skeptical.

Dean pecked him on the forehead. "I," Then the nose, making Cas squirm slightly and begin a smile. "Care," His cheek. "About," His other cheek. "You."

His lips. Dean could feel Cas's smile against his lips, and it made him much happier to know that Cas seemed to believe him.

*   *   *

"Castiel!" Dean practically jumped through the roof with surprise as two men suddenly opened the door to Cas's room. Cas blinked.

"Michael? Lucifer? What are you doing here?" Lucifer scoffed.

"We were coming to visit, remember? Then last night, we get a call from Balth, telling us you'd..." The rest of the sentence went unspoken.

Michael walked over to a very guilty looking Dean, who was loitering by the bed. "Are you Dean?" He nodded somewhat reluctantly.

"Thank you." Michael patted a very confused and shocked looking Dean on the shoulder. "According to Balth and Gabe, you saved his life." Dean flushed pink.

Cas and Luci began snickering at Dean from the bed, and Dean shot Cas a glare. It made them laugh even more.

"You got a cute one." Luci interjected, and Cas rolled his eyes.

"Dean, that's Michael, and this is Lucifer." Cas said, actually introducing his brothers to Dean. Dean sighed with relief, putting names to faces.

"Nice to meet you, I guess." he mumbled, Lucifer laughed again. Michael turned to Cas.

"Balthazar and Gabriel are going to be here in a-"

"CASSIE!"

"Minute..." Dean and Luci sniggered at Michael's disgruntled expression. Cas buried his head in his hands and groaned.

"Cassie, are you okay? Oh god, we were so worried about you!" Gabriel spoke quickly. Then he and Balthazar turned to Mike and Luci in a comical unison, with mirrored expressions of suspicion.

"What did you mean yesterday?" Both Cas and Dean shared a look of confusion, where as the twins looked guiltily at each other.

"We didn't mean anything by it, it just-" Mike began, then stopped suddenly.

"Slipped out!" Luci finished. Gabriel narrowed his eyes.

"Bullshit. What did you fucking mean?" Dean finally decided to speak up and make their confusion aware to the others.

"Uhh, guys? What the fuck are you talking about?" Balthazar turned to face Dean and Cas, more hesitation in his expression. Cas nearly growled.

"Balthazar, tell me what's going on  _now."_

"Okay! Fine. We called Mike and Luci last night. We told them you were in the hospital, and..." he trailed off. Gabriel picked up, traces of anger in his voice.

"They just said,  _Was it Dad, or Raphael?_ " he glared pointedly at the twins, whereas Cas slumped against Dean. Immediately, Dean almost panicked.

"Cas? You okay, what's wrong?" Balth and Gabe paled.

"Were you- were you implying that Dad or Rafi have put him in a hospital  _before?_ " Balth bit out both angry and hopeful that his concerns were wrong.

The look the twins gave each other and the silence was all the confirmation that they needed. Gabe dropped onto a chair near the bed, and Balthazar leaned heavily against the wall.

"Why didn't you tell us? Why did none of you tell us?" Gabriel demanded, looking slightly ill.

"Castiel didn't want us to." the twins replied simply, in unison.

Castiel burrowed into Dean's chest again, for comfort, and Dean rubbed his back soothingly, an action which both had become used to. Cas's body trembled slightly, so Dean knew that he was crying silently. Dean murmured words of comfort to him, which received odd looks from Balth and Gabe, and a raised eyebrow from Michael. Luci held a slight smirk.

Dean ignored them.

"Cas... Why did your dad and brother..." Cas just hugged Dean more. Dean didn't ask again, but Luci decided to answer for him.

"Because they blamed Cassie for our mother's death." Balth and Gabe snapped their heads towards the twins, who nodded solemnly.

"But... But it was an  _accident!_ He was a kid, how could he have known better? If anything, It was  _my_ fault, I should have been watching him!" Balth argued.  Luci's gaze hardened.

"It was  _nobody's_ fault! That's why it was an  _accident!_ And Balth, you were  _9!_ "

"Sorry, a bit confused again here." Dean interjected. Mike took pity on him, and clarified.

"Castiel was about 4, Gabe was 2, we were 14, Rafi 12, and Balth 9. Basically, 12 years ago." he coughed. "We were having a picnic in the park. How very cliché. From what we gathered, Cassie wandered off, probably following the bees." Gabe and Dean smiled weakly.

Luci picked up from there. "He got too close to the road. It was empty, fortunately, when Cassie was there. But Mom started worrying, frantically looking for him. We all joined in. I was holding Gabe when I saw him in the road. I shouted for Castiel, but he was standing in the road. He was doing that cute confused face he always does." 

Michael spoke again, when Luci broke off. "Luci was the closest, but he couldn't get Gabe down quick enough, so Mom ran in. None of so saw the car until it was too late." He looked away. "Mom saw it. She saw there wasn't enough time to pick him up and run. So she pushed him out of the way. She died in the hospital a few hours later." 

Balthazar spoke next, suddenly adding, "It was only when we were old enough to understand, when we found out She was pregnant again. A girl. Dad always wanted a daughter, and got lumbered with 6 sons instead." He laughed bitterly, without humour. "Rafi was closest to her. When he found out he was getting a little sister he was ecstatic too. He wanted to be the protective older brother."

Dean growled then. "That's no excuse to blame a fucking four year old!"

"Believe us, we know. He could have blamed us, or Balth, Or even Rafi! Obviously, Gabe's the only one who can be ruled out." Luci acknowledged. Dean frowned in confusion.

"Then why didn't he? Why didn't they blame someone else?" Mike sighed.

"Dad and Rafi always were hostile towards Cassie. They didn't like that Mom adopted him when she found him in the street, because Dad wanted a daughter, and Raphael didn't like that Cas wasn't actually his real brother. It was an excuse to hate him."

Dean didn't react to that fact that he was adopted. What did it matter?

"A few years later, we saw Dad slap Castiel on her anniversary. Today. We found out that he and Rafi did it quite a bit, but obviously, Cassie didn't know any better." Luci spat out, rage not pointed at anyone in the room. 

Cas was still curled up in Dean's arms. He didn't say anything, just cried quietly while his brothers explained.

"We made sure that Rafi and Dad didn't touch him while we were there, and he didn't want us to tell Balth and Gabe, so we didn't. And then we left. God, we should've stayed. We assumed everything was okay for a few months, then Castiel called us a few times to tell us he'd been in the hospital. Every time he did, it was around this time, but not every year. It's why we accused Dad and Rafi."

Castiel shuddered, then withdrew from Dean slightly, long enough to cough out, "I'm so  _sorry."_  before settling against Dean again. His brothers rushed to reassure him that it wasn't his fault.

Reluctantly, Balthazar spoke up. "Dad and Rafi went on some stupid business trip. They won't be back until next week. Now I realise that's a good thing."

When everything was silent once again, Dean made a split second decision. "Cas you're coming to stay with us." Immediately, there was uproar, each brother being protective over Cas. Cas uncoiled himself and looked at Dean, puffy eyed.

"Guys, shut up! I'm not asking him to stay in my room, geez, I'm not that  _forward_! Bobby did this renovation a few years back, there's room for 7 damn people!" The arguments quietened, and Mike, asked slowly,

"Bobby Singer?" Dean smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, Cas told me how you would take him up there while you talked to him." Mike smiled softly.

"I trust Bobby. I hope it isn't a mistake to trust you." he added threateningly. Dean gulped slightly. Cas spoke up.

"Can I really stay with you guys?" he asked timidly. Dean grinned.

"I doubt Bobby would turn you away." Cas smiled softly. Dean pecked him on the cheek, and is smile grew bigger.

Cas's brothers softened as they saw the effect that Dean had on Castiel, and it relieved him that none of them seemed wary of Dean.

Well, until Gabe swore loudly. "Shit! I owe Sam 10 bucks!" Where Balth, Mike and Luci shared bewildered looks,  Dean and Cas chuckled. Noticing, the mood was lightening, Balthazar seemed to seize the opportunity to add,

"By the way, Crowley took a picture of how you two were sleeping." Dean and Cas groaned, and Gabriel snapped his head to Balth.

"This, I  _gotta_ see!" Balth pulled out his phone, smirking, and handed it over to Gabriel, who promptly snorted loudly. Curious, the twins looked over Gabe's shoulder and they immediately started snickering loudly. 

"Aww, how cute, Cassie!" Luci said. Both of them were bright red by now.

Michael spoke. "I suppose we ought to go, guys. I'm scared that that bubbly red headed girl will explode if we hog him any longer..." Gabe, Cas and Dean laughed, knowing he meant Charlie. The others seemed to agree, so the four said their goodbyes and left. 

A few moments later, Charlie raced through the door, eyes red. Immediately, she went over to hug Castiel, who was too shocked to do anything other than pat her gently on the back.

"Don't ever do that again!" her voice cracked, and Cas smiled weakly. He glanced at Dean, before nodding, and saying,

"I promise." 

The door opened again, and in walked a hesitant Jo, a quiet Kevin, and a widely grinning Ash.

This was going to be a fun day.

*   *   *

As it turned out, Jo, Kevin, Charlie, Crowley, Sam, Gabriel and Ash had all made a bet on when the two of them would admit their damn feelings for each other.

Were they  _that_ obvious?

"Yes." They'd all said. Hmm.

Charlie had revealed that she'd seen the police about Alastair. Apparently, he was currently in custody, and it wasn't looking good for him.

Charlie had revealed that Alastair had found out that her parents had died in a car accident after she'd asked them to fetch her from a friend's home. Alastair had threatened to tell everyone that she  _deliberately_ caused the accident. She hadn't.

"There were about 20 people there! Seriously, all of them had letters like I had, but... Nobody had any where  _near_ the amount you had." she told him regretfully. "They're already talking about sending him to that really big Juvy centre. I seriously doubt any fancy ass lawyer can get him out of this one."

Jo had gossip as well. "You know his  _family_ have practically disowned him! Ha! Who  _wouldn't_  disown a llittle shit like him?"

In all, everyone had made Cas feel much better about everything going on.

Then he had to talk to the police.

Fortunately, he got the sheriff, a lovely woman called Sheriff Mills.

"Honey, call me Jody." Instantly, he relaxed and warmed up to her. Dean left them in private, and also asked Bobby about Cas staying with them (he agreed).

She was very considerate, reminding him after each question that he could let her know if he was uncomfortable with the topic, and she'd change the subject. Luckily, this didn't happen, so she assured him that she had enough evidence to securely convict him.

"I'm not saying what you did was the right thing to do, honey. But you filled so many people with courage, and determination to put him away. We've had 20 solid cases. He's not getting out, I promise you."

*   *   *

Not too long after she left, Doctor Barnes (who insisted they call her Pamela) in.

"Your vitals are looking great, blood loss has been corrected. It looks like you get to go home today, sugar. You'll have to come back in a few days so we can take out those stitches, but otherwise, you'll be fine. Unfortunately, there will be scarring." she added sadly. Then she left to fill out the paperwork.

Thankfully, Balth had brought a change of clothes for Cas, as well as a few days worth of clothes for him to stay in to get comfortable at the Singer's. They'd go back in a few days to retrieve the rest of his stuff.

All in all, things were beginning to look up.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Guys I have to just tell you that every message I've received about what happened to Cas made me cackle
> 
> Not laugh
> 
> Cackle. It literally made me cackle like some weird old person because of how entertaining I found your reactions. God, I'm a terrible person...

**Dean Winchester**

Cas was staying in the room opposite Dean's. It made him feel much better that Cas was right across the hall, so he could help with anything he needed.

He'd settled in pretty quickly, and Ellen and Bobby were particularly warm and parent-like towards him. God knows, that's exactly what he needed. Gabriel and Balthazar also visited, keeping Cas company.

The school contacted them and informed them that school would not be resuming until the next week, giving them almost an entire week to recuperate.

Balthazar and Dean took Cas to get the rest of his stuff, but before Dean could hurry off and help him, Balth pulled him aside.

"We appreciate what you did for Cas, really, we do." Dean rolled his eyes, but remained silent, waiting for him to finish. "I'm going to go into irritating older brother mode here, fair warning. If you hurt Cassie, or do something that drives him to...  _that_ again..." he shudders. "You and I will most certainly have...  _Problems,_ to put it in the lightest manner possible." Balthazar gave him a sweet smile, and hurried up the stairs.

The words sounded obviously well practiced, but it didn't do anything to ease the slight panic at the thought. 

_Oh God,_ Dean thought, embarrassed.  _I just got given the older brother/father talk._

He climbed the stairs to join them.

*   *   *

It didn't take too long to sort out all of Cas's stuff. He didn't have that many clothes, in all honesty. In fact, it was his paint and canvases that took up most of the space. Not that Dean minded; he loved Cas's paintings a lot.

So, after putting his laptop (mostly unused) in it's case, they ventured back out to the Impala, and loaded everything in the oddly large trunk.

Balthazar had already notified their father of the situation. He was originally extremely pissed off that someone was  _insulting his abilities as a parent_ , but warmed up to the idea after he got it into his head that neither he nor Raphael would deal with Castiel again. _  
_

Bastards. If Dean got his hands on them...

Though, it was a relief that there wasn't going to be some blown out of proportion fight over it. He had to look on the bright side.

*   *   *

Castiel settled in well, got along perfectly with Bobby, Ellen, Jo and Sam. Despite being best friends with Jo and Sam, they were worried about not being able to survive being within close quarters.

Turns out there was no reason to worry.

"No fair! I want to watch-" Sammy began, but Jo interrupted.

"We're watching Friends! End of!" Sam scoffed.

"Friends is literally older than you!"

"STILL A DAMN CLASSIC!" Cas was sitting on the recliner, watching the exchange with an amused smirk and repressing laughter. Dean sauntered over, and sat next to him.

Immediately, Cas huddled into Dean, once again focusing on the TV. Dean did the same, until they were rudely interrupted by Sam and Jo laughing at them. Cas frowned.

"What's so funny?"

"You two are awfully cosy." Jo smirked. Dean rolled his eyes. 

"We are  _together_ now, dumb ass." Sam didn't even try to hold back his laugh.

"That was the best 75 bucks I've ever made."

Jo and Sam promptly continued to argue over the remote. 

Cas looked at Dean deviously, with a sly smirk on his face. During their argument, the two didn't notice Cas sneaking over and taking the remote from the table.

Dean managed to keep his laughs quiet when Cas walked lightly back to his seat, a triumphant smile on his face. Jo and Sam were still arguing.

Suddenly, an episode of Sherlock started playing loudly on the TV, making Sam and Jo recoil in shock. They stared in disbelief at the TV, then their eyes slid over to where Cas and Dean were sitting.

Dean grinned widely, and Cas laughed at their expression. 

It was A Scandal In Belgravia, one that they had all seen before, but they settled down anyway. A lovely little compromise.

*   *   *

The phone was ringing. Nobody was inclined to pick it up.

Immediately, Jo, Sam and Cas all called 'NOT IT!' causing Dean to stare in disbelief at the three.

"Not fair." he grumbled, getting up and walking  over to the phone.

"Hello? Oh, hello, Sheriff." Everybody's ears perked up. "Jody, I'm sorry. Is... Something wrong?" Dean frowned.

Everybody sat forward in their seats. Castiel's face fell, and was frozen with anticipation and fear.

Dean released a slow breath, slightly pale. "Okay. Uhm, thank you, Jody. I'll tell him." He put the phone back on the receiver. He leaned against the table for a moment, collecting his mixed thoughts, and turned to the group.

He faced Castiel, albeit slightly reluctantly, and forced out,

"Alastair hung himself in his holding cell." 

Castiel slumped back in his seat, hands brought up to his face in shock and disbelief

"Bu-but... He's  _dead_?" Dean nodded gravely.

"Too good for the son of bitch. I'm so sorry, Cas." Dean went over to him, and held onto him while Cas cried. Sam and Jo remained silent, but both were sporting masks of horror, and sympathy for Cas.

*   *   *

Cas managed to stop crying eventually, but the good mood was ruined. They all went to bed that night with the ghost of Alastair looming over them. 

Dean was restless for most the night. He was contemplating checking on Cas, when there was a soft, hesitant knock on the door.

Quickly, he hopped out of bed, and opened the door as quietly as he could manage. Cas stood outside the door awkwardly, holding his right arm.

"I'm sorry, Dean." His eyes were wide and brimming with tears. Judging from the way he cradled his arm, Dean knew why.

Dean softened. "Come on," he gently ushered the almost crying boy into the room, checking the hallway first.

He sat next to Cas on the bed.

"Let me see it." Cas looked to the side, and shut his eyes. He thrust his arm towards Dean, and he tentatively pulled up the sleeve.

There were less scars on his right arm, (being right handed it was natural for him to cut on his left) but three fresher cuts marred his wrist. 

"It's okay, Cas. I don't expect you to just give it up." he told his boyfriend gently. Cas looked at him, disbelieving, with wide eyes.

"You don't?" Dean softened, and gave him a small smile.

"Of course not. You know, unlike a lot of films or books, problems aren't just  _solved_ when you get a boyfriend." That elicited a small chuckle from Cas. Hesitantly, he brought Cas's arm up to his face, and gave it a small kiss.

Cas looked about ready to laugh, so Dean quickly covered the distance and met Cas's lips with his own.

When they pulled apart, Dean grew serious once again. 

"Cas, you don't have to worry anymore. Alastair won't be able to hurt you." Cas lowered his eyes. "I know you're pissed he won't get what he deserves. I am too. But he's  _gone,_ and right now, this is the best situation we could be in."

Cas raised his head, and nodded. "I know. But what about..." he gestured to his arms. "I don't want to, but I know I  _will_ want to, and-" Dean cut him off with a kiss again. It was the most effective method. _  
_

"Cas, you're thinking too much, okay?" Cas nodded again. Dean suddenly remembered an old coping technique he'd learned after his own experience.

Dean stood, and walked over to his desk. In the corner of his eye, he saw Castiel squint and tilt his head. He looked over his shoulder, and said.

"You're too damn cute when you do that." Dean shuffled back after a moment, a thin, long object in his hand.

He took Cas's hand in his, and placed the object there. Cas looked at it, confused.

"A pen? Why-" Dean interrupted him, and explained.

"Whenever you get the itch, draw on yourself with it. It's a red sharpie. It worked for me, the couple of times I used this method, and from what I've heard, it's worked for a lot of people." Cas looked doubtful. "Trust me, okay?" 

Slowly, Cas nodded. He threw his arms around Dean's shoulders, and hugged him tight. 

"Thank you, Dean." Dean rubbed his back soothingly.

"Want to stay in here for the night?" he felt Cas nod against him. 

They relaxed into the position they had slept in a few times before. It was natural to them now.

And Dean would never have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N This is the end, I guess! It has been a pleasure writing my first fanfic, and I am so grateful for all the comments, votes and KUDOS I have received! I cannot thank you all enough, and I look forward to writing my SuperWhoLock fanfic, with perhaps some of you as the audience!
> 
> Again, it has been so much fun writing this. I don't think I will be writing any more, but if I am struck with a sudden inspiration for this verse, I'll add it in another chapter.
> 
> Sorry if it seems rushed, I wanted to tie everything together as best I could, with a fluffy little ending. Thank you very much if you have stayed till the end! ^.^


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